"Yeah. Yeah, I... I would. I'll make it up to you and Rei. I... I will."
Promise. it was such an easy word to say, yet in that moment, she couldn't get it to work its way past her lips. Perhaps it was something to do with how often they'd been lies in regards to her... Kag wasn't sure, but another idle gesture would hopefully make clear she did. Her words, while not actually saying it, were still a promise all their own that she fully intended to keep to, no matter what it took... Or when.
A part of her wanted to ask if Childe had at least been there. With her out of action... Was he taking care of the unit, too? Had he... Actually stepped up and decided to fill her shoes, lend Kyros some help? Another part of her doubted it; He had always been incredibly hands off, and normally, she had appreciated it. Unlike Signora, who had only stopped by to manipulate them and order them into situations that should have been their end, Childe had always encouraged and given them space to be more than the unit most of the Fatui wanted to see knocked off the face of Teyvat. It was up to her to lead her unit, and given he'd never stepped in like that before...
The guilt continued to pile up with each though that raced through her mind, sparking up a tight ache in her chest she wished she could be rid of. He was off doing his own thing, and it sounded like with it, his only priority past that was their three biological children. Of course, that was also an assumption, she knew! Nothing said he hadn't been - Just that she hadn't asked, and couldn't actually bring herself to. She knew better than to assume, and yet...
With a sigh, Kag finally took a step towards the bed, dropping onto its edge to sit like a lead weight. The urge to curl up and just sleep again was stronger now, but how could she do that to Ren? He'd taken the time to come visit and she did love him too much to kick him out just to sleep even more, but... Truthfully, she wasn't sure which was was up, stuffing a hand back in her hair for a small scratch of her scalp. Where did she begin... What did she say...?
"I never knew what he wanted," she'd say instead, voice even softer yet as her gaze averted, suddenly finding the floor far more interesting than the boy on the couch. "I... Still don't. I don't know that man... Not like you think I do. He's... A harbinger, Ren... Nobody understands them. They want it that way." Especially Childe, though she'd keep that bit to herself. She knew Ajax - She'd never known Childe nor Tartaglia, if the ness she'd found herself in had proven anything.
The man she knew had died long ago, after all.
"Just give him space, Ren. Don't... Worry about impressing him. Work on yourself. It's... It's not... Worth it to worry about impressing a Harbinger. Trust me." She'd learned that lesson the hard way when her childhood friend had become one. So many years of trying to stay close, of trying to be like they used to, all for them to be...
It wasn't worth it, she decided, quickly blinking away a sudden blur to her vision. Ren deserved better... The entire unit did.
" ...huh? "
Kag's reply had caught him as...strange, enough for Ren to pause and tilt his head in slight confusion as if the motion would help him understand his leader's point of view a little better. It hadn't, of course -- he really couldn't make heads nor tails of where Kag's sudden disdain for Lord Tartgalia had come from, no matter how far to the left he'd let his head slip.
But that was what made the remark so odd, too. Kagota and their Harbinger leader were supposed to be a married couple, right? They'd always gotten along, had always been able to read each other better than anyone else in the unit, and were attracted to each other stronger than any other force in all of Snezhnaya. So then-
Why was Ren sensing so much hate and hurt coming from Kag and her words at just the mention of Lord Tartaglia?
" You guys aren't having problems outside of missions 'n stuff, are you? "
There, he'd said it.
Ren hadn't wanted to be that blunt when Kag was clearly struggling just to keep her focus for this one conversation, but he couldn't ignore it anymore! There was obviously a rift in between her and her husband and it made Ren a little uneasy to just assume there was. Kag and Tartaglia had had their spats before and Ren had witnessed plenty of them in the past, but those were usually short lived and easily solved.
But this...?
" And you being on injury leave -- it was because you actually got injured on an assignment...right? And not because he- "
'Did something to you?' But Ren would keep those last words to himself, finding it extremely hard to believe that someone like Tartgalia would stoop so low to injure someone that meant so much to him. Though, the more the pieces fell into the place, the more it made sense why Tartaglia himself was only coming back here at night. It was his only place to sleep, Ren assumed.
Though, that's all he was doing, too. Assuming. And Ren didn't want to add fuel to the fire when he barely knew a fraction of the information.