Trans Woman Thoughts

We are not alone. User-submitted confessions relating to the life of transgender women. WARNING: This tumblr and all of it's posts can be triggering. Please read at your own risk.  Reboot of mtfconfessions. Going live late December 2018. You can submit now

[transwomanthoughts]

Thought #561

Sometimes I’m happy, because I kinda won the genetic lottery.

I’m not on blockers/hormones, but I still have a slim body, defined hips, not much muscle above my waist, and I think I might naturally have less testosterone than most cis men. But It just makes me feel guilty bc even though I have a lot of dysphoria, I know there are a lot of women who arent as lucky as me and I feel like I should give up on myself put all of my energy into helping them out because they need it more.

(Taken from mtfconfession 10252)

By: anon 💙🌷💕 🌠🌟

[transwomanthoughts]

Thought #560

I came out as trans when I was 14, then when I was 16 I changed my mind and said I'm just a typical guy.

I’m 18 and I’ve decided yet again that yes, I am trans. I was just scared. But I’m afraid coming out yet again would be stupid.

(Taken from mtfconfession 10253)

By: anon 👌🕯🌕 ❄💙✨💚

[transwomanthoughts]

Thought #559

I'm conflicted.

I want a life that isn’t mutually exclusive with being trans or being a woman, but it would be much easier to pursue it in this society if I stayed a closeted “cis” man. I want a wife someday. I want to have kids. My dream job is considered a more “masculine” field (not that I agree, but that’s what society deems it, and more men than women are in that field). I hate that everyone seems to think women can’t live that life. I want to, and hopefully I will someday.

(Taken from mtfconfession 10254)

By: anon 💐🔥❄

[transwomanthoughts]

Thought #558

The other day a female friend of over 5 years came on to me.

She told me she had dreams about being with a girl and she wanted to try it. I am in no way a passing female. I have a penis and she knows, she knew me before i came out. I am happy that she chose me, not because of the sex, but because she considered me enough of a girl. I was filled with so much joy.

(Taken from mtfconfession 10255)

By: anon 💜❄ 🌿

[transwomanthoughts]

Thought #557

I met "the girl" when I was 17.

I was going through hard times when we first got together, but she made it all better. I moved in with her after only a few weeks of dating, it was amazing. We fell in love, I came out to her about being trans, she accepted, even did my make up, gave me her clothes, helped me come out, she helped me so much. Now I’m about 20, she left me, I’m on heroin now, and I’ve been contemplating on killing myself.

(Taken from mtfconfession 10256)

By: anon 🌷 💛🌿

[transwomanthoughts]

Thought #556

Before I started HRT, I knew I was going to experience stronger emotions, but I couldn't have imaged this.

They overwhelm me at times, but they help me feel more connected with my true self.

(Taken from mtfconfession 10257)

By: anon 🙌💛☀

[transwomanthoughts]

Thought #555

I hate mandatory pronoun questions.

I’m not out at all and I don’t want to say he/him, it kills me inside to actually go out of my way to say I want these pronouns, but I am not in the position to come out as trans yet - I’ll probably wait until I’m financially independent. I like LGBTQ spaces in theory but I hate this dreaded question because if I don’t answer, people will assume I’m a cis person being difficult, but saying I prefer he/him hurts.

(Taken from mtfconfession 10258)

By: anon 🌷🏳️‍🌈💖👌👌 🍃☘

[transwomanthoughts]

Thought #554

I came out to my dad.

It went better than expected, actually. We reflected on my childhood after that, and he noticed how many “signs” were there without him realizing at the time. 

Then we talked about how I played baseball when I was a young teen. He said, “If you hated baseball so much, you could have told me” and I told him that I actually enjoyed playing baseball. He didn’t seem to get it, like me being trans and enjoying a “masculine” sport are mutually exclusive.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m incredibly grateful he accepts me. It just really stood out to me that he thought genuinely enjoying playing baseball and wanting to be a girl are mutually exclusive.

(Taken from mtfconfession 10259)

By: anon ☘💜🌕💕 🌠💙💎

[transwomanthoughts]

Thought #553

I say I don't want vaginoplasty, but in my heart I really do, I just know I couldn't afford it.

(Taken from mtfconfession 10260)

By: anon 🌅🌅💐 🌟

[transwomanthoughts]

Thought #552

I've realized a group of friends don't know I'm MtF.

Thought they did and are just really comfortable around trans people. We’ve been friends for almost 2 yrs and have became very close. We all go on trips and the gym together. I’m afraid they will feel like I lied or don’t trust them. I’m afraid if I don’t tell them they will eventually find out from people I am out to. I have no idea what their politics on trans people are other than they don’t mind MtFs in bathrooms. Life got messy again. UGH

(Taken from mtfconfession 10261)

By: anon 🙆🌿🍃 ☘

[transwomanthoughts]

Thought #551

I'm honestly ashamed to be a transbian.

I know there’s nothing inherently bad about being a trans woman exclusively attracted to women but I hate myself for it and I often wish I was either straight or cis.

(Taken from mtfconfession 10262)

By: anon ⭐

[transwomanthoughts]

Thought #550

I totally love a guy i know and i know he would go to bed with me if I let him.

But since im pre op I cant give in because i cant stand the sight of my male parts. It doesnt matter to him what i have down there but i just want to have a full female body before i can commit to a guy.

(Taken from mtfconfession 10263)

By: anon 💚🔥

[transwomanthoughts]

Thought #549

I know that the fact that I've never been suicidal makes me lucky.

I’m grateful for it. But I also feel selfish transitioning because my dysphoria has never made me want to die. It’s made me extremely uncomfortable but I wouldn’t describe it as full blown depression or suicidal tendencies. It makes me feel like my situation wasn’t bad enough to justify transitioning, even though it’s made me so much happier. I know that’s stupid, and that I should be grateful. I just needed to vent.

(Taken from mtfconfession 10264)

By: anon ✨🌕☘👌 👍🌕👀

[transwomanthoughts]

Thought #548

As an elective non-op MTF trans woman, I get somewhat annoyed by the attitudes of some who claim I'm somehow mocking them, or devaluing their experiences.

I’ve fought just as hard as every other trans girl out there for acceptance, both from society and the medical establishment, so to have that thrown back in my face is hurtful. Trans is trans, no matter what’s between your legs.

(Taken from mtfconfession 10265)

By: anon 💚🌹 ✨

[transwomanthoughts]

Thought #547

Nothing like laying it all on the table to your parents only to be met with complete denial and occasional Facebook posts that joke on someone who is transgender...

(Taken from mtfconfession 10266)

By: anon 🌠⭐

[transwomanthoughts]

Thought #546

I'm 42. A lot of trans women about my age talk about having a wife and kids and a good job that they'd likely have to sacrifice if they came out.

That isn’t my experience at all. My depression made me not participate in my male adult life at all. I’m perpetually single, childless, and have a crappy job. I have nothing to lose and everything to lose at the same time. It feels like it’s too late to live my life the way I want to. I frequently feel just as suicidal as I did in my teens.

(Taken from mtfconfession 10267)

By: anon 💛🍃🌈 🙆

[transwomanthoughts]

Thought #545

I put on a show like I have trans pride, but I spend every day hating myself and wishing I was cis.

(Taken from mtfconfession 10268)

By: anon 👀 🌷❤🌕🌕