shrimp posture

local gay autistic trans dude | 27 y/o

[lepidopteragirl]

deadbeat group chat member

[pissvortex]

[agnesmontague]

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

[stellarskyes]

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

[agnesmontague]

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

[adz]

i am a biological machine that turns cold cans of Campbell’s soup into shareholder value and nude selfies

[adz]

>:(

[iapislazuli]

when i was at walgreens (at 3 in the morning which explains all of this) the cashier was talking to her coworker about how shed rather be a werewolf than a vampire because vampires are condemned to hell but werewolves arent and then she asked me what i thought and i said vampire because im already condemned to hell and she said in the nicest tone of voice “i dont think anybody is condemned to hell….” paused, stared at me for a few moments, and added on “…not even gay people” 

[iapislazuli]

Happy pride month to the filthiest most brutal read I’ve ever been given in my life

[magicratfingers]

i like when you see a little lizard go skittleskittleskitter and then stop & do some push ups

[parkerposey]

I feel like a horse with no name is probably the best song in the world. Not even my Favorite song just the best

[parkerposey]

He’s literally just telling it like it is

[mon3trs]

in space no one can hear you moan like a girl

[fat-fuck-hairy-belly]

Ground control here, we can hear you just fine

[ode-on-a-grecian-butt]

[voidthing]

happy month, fellow slurs.

[fallout-lou-begas]

liberal fallout be like: lone wander-HER your LGBTQ OVERSEER needs you to fix the vault's ICED COFFEE chip with a GECK (GAY ESTROGEN COMMUNIST KETAMINE) !!!!!

[gaytanic-panic]

[feluka]

cats being capable of understanding accidents and even giving you a little head bonk to let you know you're still cool makes it infinitely funnier that they don't understand when you're trying to help them

cats when you step on their tail: i'll admit that was rather ouchie, but given the lifetime of goodwill and trust between us, one must conclude this booboo is but a fluke.

cats when you try to get their claws unstuck from the couch covering: this nefarious bitch has never had a single honorable intention in their dishonest and shameful life, this must be one of their sinister plots or perhaps even an attempt on my life,

[puyopuyo]

i forget itunes keeps track of how many times you play a song fucking christ

[puyopuyo]

[beardedmrbean]

[an-ambient-girl]

WHY WAS IASKED THIS sjsnnebsb

[amazoogle]

the enemy drank water today. did you?

[ewoly5]

i drank water three days ago. im several steps ahead of the enemy. this is what it takes to win