Life in a Trashy Soap Opera

Professional amateur, full time part-timer, freelance loafer, self-loathing narcissist.

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My Manila-to-Pampanga Glow-Up: Unlearning City Chaos, Learning Provincial Chill (and Chibog!)

Mt. Arayat Okay, so picture this: your resident Manila girlie, used to the concrete jungle and the constant rat race, suddenly drops into Pampanga. Spoiler alert: my brain short-circuited a few times. Here’s the hilarious, sometimes humbling, list of things I had to unlearn (and aggressively relearn) when I traded the Metro Manila mayhem for Kapampangan chill: Driving? More Like “Curb Your…

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One Art

The art of losing isn’t hard to master; so many things seem filled with the intent to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster of lost door keys, the hour badly spent. The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster: places, and names, and where it was you meant to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost…

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The art of losing isn’t hard to master; so many things seem filled with the intent to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster of lost door keys, the hour badly spent. The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster: places, and names, and where it was you meant to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost…

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Frail State of Mind

Can I be honest? Sometimes I’m thinking of stopping this. I’m scared.

I’m scared that that one night of bliss would bring a lifetime of responsibility.

I’m scared because I know this is what we’ll only have and what if feelings get involved.

I’m scared that I’ll fall into a muck and not be able to get out of it.

What do I even get out of this in the end? Sure, it’s fun now, but am I…

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Ad meliora

“Ad meliora” – Toward better things.

 Keep your dreams high and your feet low.

Dare to be different.

Live with passion.

Be persistent and never give up.

Failure only lasts until you make your next move.

Always encourage others.

Love everyone.

Lastly, live life as an adventure: with eyes wide with wonder and a thirst to explore and experience the world.

A Facebook friend posted the list above…

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To a better year

To a better year

It was around this time last year that I started falling into a black hole of sadness. I didn’t know what to do, so I just cried. I cried at the smallest things. I cried for no reason at all. I cried and pushed people away.

“Sometimes all you can do is smile, move on with your day, hold back the tears and pretend you’re okay..”

It wasn’t the best feeling. It was the last thing I wanted to feel,…

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2019 so far

My life at work has been punctuated by a myriad of meaningful and challenging moments. This month, I realized that I am finally doing what I had envisioned!

I cherish every moment and thank God for His grace for allowing me to live out my dreams. Everyday, I am deeply grateful and humbled by everything that’s happening to me.

I pray that I continue to take on life with courage this 2019. May I…

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This is goodbye

Things have obviously changed between the two of us these past weeks. I don’t know if it’s something I did or something I said. I don’t know if something happened with you, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t the same as before. Maybe things weren’t really going well, but I decided to overlook it. Maybe I felt that there wasn’t a need to panic because everything is going well. But right now, it’s quite…

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Feeling ko, mas patient ako ngayon, compared to a few months back. Personal observation ko lang naman. Pero may days pa rin na nagsa-snap ako, but I think mas better ako ngayon in handling my emotions.

I hate having uncertainties. I hate not having control of things. I think I’m a control freak, but slowly I’m trying to get rid of that attitude as I feel that it’s weighing me down.

I’m working on…

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I’m Slowly Learning Not To Chase After Love

I’m slowly learning not to chase after anyone and instead focus on myself.

It’s scary how much I change the minute someone shows interest in me. I become someone that I am not. I lost myself in trying to obtain someone’s approval. I settled for less than I deserve.

My world quickly revolves around wanting to be with this new person, what he thinks of me, and picking apart at anything that could…

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Survey for HRM or Tourism graduates

Hi!

My friend is conducting a survey for HRM or Tourism graduates. Please help him out by answering the survey below. Share it to your friends who also took HRM or Tourism.

List down your email address an the end survey and share with your friends to get a chance to win a 200HKD prepaid Mastercard!!!

Thank you!

Answer survey here

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It’s that time of the month again where I feel anxious and sad. I don’t want to throw in the word depressed, because I am not sure if this is what I’m really going through. This has been going on for five months. There are days when I just want all of this to end. I want it to stop.

Anyone here enjoying periodic sadness, anxiety, and throw in some insecurity?

I’m pretty sure no one wants to feel…

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Life has is overwhelming me again. I’m working so hard get out of this muck, but I just don’t know what to do. I’ve cried more times this year than in the last 5 years. It’s not fun running around trying to pretend that everything is okay and that you’ve got everything figured out. It’s tiring putting a mask on while surrounded with people.

I don’t know what to do, to be quite honest. I just want…

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When the year started, I remember telling myself that this year will be different from last year. It will be drama-free, less stressful, and more about working on being a better person.

Well, 7 months in and it did a good job of ripping me apart.

I’m more anxious, more insecure, more doubtful, I’m drowning in sadness, and more importantly, I feel alone. I’m not sure if what I’m feeling is…

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I’m not sure what’s happening to me and why am I feeling this way. I thought I already got out of that drowning feeling of sadness, but I didn’t. It was just sitting there, waiting for it to be triggered. And just like that it came back to life! It’s slowly eating me from the inside. I know pushing everyone away is not the best thing to do, but even the smallest things trigger me and drives me…

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Happy birthday, self

Standing strong at 28.

I feel like this photo represents my whole life – the waves being my struggles in life. Not trying to be deep or anything, but that’s the first thing that came into my mind when I saw this picture.

Good job, self!

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Graveyard shifts

While I dread graveyard (GY) shifts, there’s also something positive to simply having less people around. Not that I dislike being surrounded by people after my meltdowns, I just enjoy the peacefulness that comes with not having to deal with so many people.

I thought that this GY shift would mean me losing to my emotions again, but I’ve been holding up pretty well these past few days. I’m not…

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