; @traumafied - Tumblr Blog

rb if you didn’t realize you had trauma until years after it happened

#when i first disclosed at 13 #3-4 years after the r*pe #my school guidance counselor told me that i had to report him #ME. i had to do it #and that if i didn’t #and he abused anyone else #it would essentially be my fault #she didn’t report it to CPS like she was supposed to #as a mandatory reporter #and she traumatized me like he did #i didn’t tell her but another girl was there the same day and i think he hurt her too #and i’ve blamed myself ever since i disclosed #and can only now work on it in therapy bc it hurts so much

furiousgoldfish

*hears an angry voice* *dissociates*

boyliker444

pack-of-rats-archive

randkritzelei

11/11/20

i don‘t know how to ask for help

please reblog this i spent way too long on what was supposed to be a quick edit

hello friends here’s what u missed on glee

so i started therapy about 8 months ago?? never really thought i would end up doing it but i finally took the plunge and it’s been incredibly enriching. my best friend asked her therapist for recommendations for me, and the one i ended up calling is perfect. like, i feel so lucky that i found her

i always assumed i had depression and anxiety but in our second session she was like “i want to give you a ptsd questionnaire” and we went through it and she added everything up and was like “ok so to have a diagnosis of ptsd you have to score at least a 35....you got a 55” and i was in such denial lol. but the longer i work on things, the more i realize that yeah i have fuckin ptsd lol

first thing she worked with me on after that was adjusting my meds and working with me and my doctor to find out how to get me to sleep through the night bc as it turns out i also have insomnia lol. after trial and hella error we finally found one that seems to be working for the time being, so i can at least sleep some while doing trauma work (and y’know it helped so much when i was still working before i got temporarily laid off bc ofcovid lmao)

i’m doing emdr and some cbt at the moment and emdr is both an incredible tool and the most painful thing i’ve ever experienced. i don’t think there’s a single session i don’t end up crying tbh. but i really feel it helping me heal slowly. i still really struggle to name what happened to me by the actual terms of what it is. and i still feel broken and defective a lot of the time. but i’m healing. one bit at a time

#personal

rose-burn

4.11.17

rose-burn

dont reblog if youre not a trauma survivor // 6.2.17

fantomedomestique

me: i have no fucking emotions, all my loved ones could perish in a horrible accident and i would not shed a Tear. i am fucked up beyond repair.

someone: *shows me a sliver of compassion*

me:

unstablemotions

childhood trauma is so weird because you grow up to find out that stuff that happened wasn’t okay and suddenly memories come back and you realize how it really messed you up on the inside

trauma-rat

things I want: love and affection things I have: trauma and touch starvation

memes-to-show-my-therapist

My therapist: we need to talk about your childhood

My brain:

an-actual-real-live-eevee

anyway I’m a toxic and unsafe person and no one should be around me

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