XOXO

Gossip Blog for traumahqs Gossip Bitches here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Seattle's finest... And who am I? That's one secret I'll never tell. You know you love me. XOXO, Gossip Bitches.

[traumagossip]

Ladies and gentleman, it’s that time of the month again! It’s not the crimson wave you’ve been praying for, no no, I’m so much worse than that. Our cycle doesn’t ever stop, and by the sounds of it, neither do you guys. If you’re having trouble keeping up with the who’s who of what’s going on around here, consult the cheat sheet. But seriously, some of you should know by now. 

Shall we start with something exciting since things are only going to go downhill from there? McRed ( @epiphanics ) and McSteamy ( @seattlites ) totally had a baby! Yet another one to add to the gaggle that McSteamy is collecting - speaking of, Mini Sloan ( @gaudiumtms​ ) made an appearance too can you believe it! Is one big happy family on the cards?

Keeping with the kid theme, did you hear? McWidow ( @canyouholdme​ ) has only gone and knocked up McWitch ( @scrubsandarmchairs​ ) !! I didn’t think it was possible personally, but apparently someone was able to get through that cold exterior, though I’m still putting money on it being on ice cube in there. Maybe finally her and Ice Queen ( @seattlites​ ) will have something in common besides the demon fetus inside of her!

In more pregnancy news, we’re not going to be getting any from the Gossip Queen ( @mediiicals​ ) or Mr A Little Late ( @sgmwesters​ ) any time soon! Yep that’s right, that ship has truly sailed - looks like Mr A Little Late is more like Way Too Late. Perhaps McSteamy or McWitch will let you borrow their kids!? Just a thought.

Speaking of kids that don’t exist, did you hear McSparkly ( @aeipcthys ) actually didn’t do the one requirement of a doctor, which is to you know SAVE LIVES. Rough stuff there McSparkly, but perhaps we needed to dull that sparkle for a little while. It was getting annoying. Shame it had to be done. 

God, it’s really all about the family this month - don’t you guys have better things to do than follow each other around? So many sisters have turned up Baby Firefighter ( @gaudiumtms ), She-Freedman ( @canyouholdme ), and Posh Spice Senior ( @weatherthestrm ) have all made an appearance. Though Posh Spice Senior gets bonus points for turning up with a previously unknown kid, we need you all to start stepping up your sibling game.

The final family installment came in the form of Mistress of Evil’s ( @aeipcthys ) daughter turning up. But that’s not all folks, not at all! Not only did she turn up unannounced but she also bitchslapped Madam Satan ( @strengthbound ) in the process! Anyone have that security footage? I want a slow motion action replay, just for me. Can’t all be bad though, since Mistress of Evil and Madam Satan wound up in bed together after it. Hate sex anyone? Sign me up next time please! 

Speaking of doing the dirty! Our favorite sad girl Ortho Chick ( @brokenrollercoaster ) and homewrecker McCheat ( @epiphanics ) have fallen into bed with one another! Is this a reconciliation? I hope not, because that’s boring. I want a fight I want drama, I quite honestly want to see it all break down yet again. Here’s hoping! 

McCheat isn’t the only Cabot that’s out here putting the moves on people! Has anyone else spotted how painfully obvious McDweeb ( @lostatseattle ) and Posh Spice ( @sgmwesters ) have been for each other? I can see the hard ons from here!!! Suck it up and do it, I’m bored already. Although it seems like Posh Spice isn’t doing too badly when it comes to dipping her toes in other ponds if you get my drift. I’m still shocked that McDweeb thought it was a good idea to go to McCheat for advice! Talk about drinking from a poisonous well!

The simp news continues in the form of Evil Spawn ( @mediiicals ) and Princess ( @aeipcthys ) who are becoming  disgusting with every passing day. Did anyone else see what Evil Spawn did for Valentines?? GROSS. I liked it when you were arguing better. 

In less scandalous news, the Orgasm Queen ( @lostatseattle ) is truly working her magic. What total are we at now? 5? 11? 839? Who’s keeping count? Because I’m not. Live your hot girl life, and hope I’m not there when it crumbles around you (which I will be!).

Can you believe that the Mr Excitement ( @brokenrollercoaster ) baby drama has got all the more entertaining?? Turns out McSister 2.0 ( @sgmwesters ) was pretty quick to slam the breaks on the googly eyes those two have been making at one another leaving both of them in the middle of sad bitch hours. Similarly, Little Grey ( @littlexunsteady ) and McDorky ( @brokenrollercoaster ) have also called it off... but it gets even better! Did somebody say wife swap !? Turns out that the cure to the broken hearts is to bag each others man. You heard that right, Mr Excitement & Little Grey, and McSister 2.0 & McDorky have gone and done the horizontal tango! Aren’t Little Grey and McSister 2.0 roommates too? This has explosion written all over it and I can’t wait!

On the same vein as people getting laid and doing stupid things, McVirgin ( @sgmwesters ) has run away to Ohio. You read that right, Ohio. Apparently Pretty Boy ( @littlexunsteady ) isn’t as good in the sack as we thought. Nobody is more upset about that than me. Rumour has it though that Trauma Witch ( @aeipcthys ) doesn’t actually know about them doing the nasty. Someone’s gotta tell her, and it isn’t going to be me. 

Stupid things... oh! That reminds me, Mini McLawyer ( @mediiicals ) managed to get himself to jail. Jail! I could not make this up! I mean, he’s out now because daddy McLawyer ( @seattlites ) came to his rescue before vanishing off the face of the planet, but even still. I can’t help but wonder how Little Miss Perfect ( @sgmwesters ) is finding having a felon for a boyfriend!

Let’s talk about the multitude of crisis’ we seem to have going on in Seattle, the only issue is where do we even begin! Let’s start with ManWhore Junior ( @littlexunsteady ). Looks like he’s having what appears to be an ongoing crisis now that he’s the confirmed daddy! Looks like he’s after all sorts of advice but isn’t you know... actually stepping up to the mark.

Miss Mischief ( @lostatseattle ) is yet another crisis to discuss. Apart from being... well, a living crisis, Mrs Catch-Em-All ( @strengthbound ) seems to have added her to the gaggle of Martinez’s that are knocking around. Care to comment Little Miss Dumper ( @seattlites ), or are you too busy lying to Lonely Boy ( @sgmwesters ) about still being engaged? 

Glasses ( @littlexunsteady ) seems to be continuing the crisis theme after McVirgin dumped him and had her own crisis, but this time it seems a little bit more personal than that. What’s the matter Glasses, scared of the real you? You can be honest, I don’t bite.

McMom ( @strengthbound ) is also getting sued can you believe it? One wrong move and it might be game over for Seattle’s favorite mom without a child of her own. We’ll see how that plays out I’m sure, but I wouldn’t be hopeful. 

Oh! And yet another one of Ice Queen’s ex’s is here, Kind Spawn ( @lostatseattle ). This isn’t even gossip now, I’m bored of these. Next!

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who should hook up that hasn’t yet

Anyone who hasn’t hooked up are taking their sweet ass time. But seriously, who doesn’t want to see Dylan work his way around the hospital to upset the biggest Price? That’s one I’m getting popcorn for. Ladies, get in line for him, the more that do the better the fall out in the end.

[traumagossip]

top 3 of each: couples that will make it, couples that won’t

Please have you seen this place? None of these couples are going to last, they never do. And if by some miracle it looks like they might, it only takes a plane crash or some other disaster to nicely rip them apart again. 

[traumagossip]

fmk: uro attendings

Fuck: Olivia Hayes. If McBland is still following it around like a lost sheep, the POP must be huge. Gotta see what it’s all about, right?

Marry: Hope Price. She’s already got the house, the kids, there’s no work there at all. Easy win. 

Kill: Briar. Sorry Mayfield, erectile dysfunction is just a turn off.

[traumagossip]

the women of the legal team

Fuck: Savannah. Have you seen her? I mean there’s gotta be something with her because obviously she’s got something good going on. I would also say Max. That girl has already been making a name for herself. 

Marry: Cordelia. Seems like she needs to settle down already.

Kill: Gabriela. Sorry sweet but you need to relax a bit. Can’t be having your tense ass here.

[traumagossip]

Which piece of gossip from today was your favorite ?

My favorite? All of it but if I had to pick one i’d pick the Kepner sister’s sinning. We love to see you on the dark side sisters. Time to wear all black and hoe it up for us. Maybe, a pop of red lipstick. Try it out sometime. 

[traumagossip]

fmk the cardiothoracic attendings

Fuck: Joanna. Definitely seems like she could use a pick me up. But also Teddy but maybe at the same time what do you say ladies?

Marry: Andrea. Again, she’s already been there done that.

Kill: Zachary. Sir, who are you again?

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Fmk; mcvirgin, mcchristian, mcdorky

Fuck: McChristian. She seems to know exactly what she is doing. More power to you girlfriend. Guess you’ve had it in you all along.

Marry: McDorky. The man seems to already to want marriage.

Kill: McVirgin. Sorry, McVirgin but i’m not you’re still extremely uptight. Can’t have that around here. 

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Did you hear that daddy’s boy and the slutty walker fucked in a copy room?

Tell me more, please! Did you all make any copies? I’d love to see them. Share with the rest of us. @lostatseattle @ofseattles

[traumagossip]

Fmk; cardio chicks

Well, that depends on which cardio chicks you want. 

Fuck: Teddy. She’s been with Mark Sloan there’s gotta be something good going on there. 

Marry: Andrea. She’s already been married once before so why not. 

Kill: Larissa. She’s already on her death bed anyway. 

[traumagossip]

It’s a new year and a new me. Not really but that’s what all of you say. New year, new me crap. Well not me, I'm the same old bitch I've always been. In case any of you are a little lost and need help make sure you use the nickname page here to figure out what your name is.

Where do we begin? You have all been…. Busy. Let’s start with ex's. We all love a good ex. Don’t we? At least all of you do.

Who do we start with? Let’s start with She-Sloan (@epiphanics) and McSimp (@littlexunsteady ).Those two love birds seem to be back at it. Whatever that means for them. Let’s see how long it lasts this time, maybe it’s because she’s in the hospital and he feels bad for her. Poor She-Sloan. Don’t hold your breath girl. Next up is, Not Emma Swan (@lostatseattle) and Not Evil Queen (@chaoticxgood). A love that was short lived. Seems like they got together only to break up shortly after. Really, we have no idea what is going on there but ladies you should figure it out and get back to us. We love to hear what happened. Poor McDorky (@brokenrollercoaster) and Little Grey (@littlexunsteady) already broke-up. We saw that one coming moving along kids leave it in the past.

Let’s dive deeper into ex drama. The ever so lovely Doctor Model (@epiphanics) has made her appearance once again. Trying to act like nothing happened and wanting everyone to forgive her. Doesn’t seem to be going well but don’t know what you were thinking. We give you a round of applause for the attempt though. 

We’ve got plenty more ex’s for all of you though. Let’s keep the ball rolling. McFuckBoy (@seattlites), our newest ex in town, has really been making an entrance. We love to see the chaos he is causing but everyone else is not exactly thrilled. The Price crew is ready to jump down his throat but then again who do they like? Let us know. Another ex who has been here for a while has realized he has feelings for his ex. Ouch. With that being said McDumped (@seattlites ) might need a bitch of help getting Trauma Witch (@aeipcthys). She doesn’t seem like the type to take him back. 

Now that we’ve covered all that nonsense let's get to the sexy times in Seattle. There are plenty as always. Well, well, we’ve got a juicy one tonight. Pretty Boy (@littlexunsteady) and McVirgin (@sgmwesters). McVirgin finally did the deed with Pretty Boy. It doesn’t seem to be going well for them though because McVirgin is having a whole life crisis about her religion now. Sorry, Pretty Boy apparently you weren’t good enough for her. Find someone new. 

Our favorite OBGYN has been making her rounds. Using her orgasm study as an excuse to sleep with everyone in Seattle. Keep it up Orgasm Queen (@lostatseattle), let us know how that study ends up. Please share the details with everyone. Some people could really use the tips. 

Oh, this is an interesting one. McBlondie (@brokenrollercoaster) is sleeping with anyone who will take her. When we say anyone, we really mean anyone. She is on to the next person every night. More power to you, McBlondie. We want to know who is the best of the best in Seattle. Maybe, Orgasm Queen should talk to her. I’m a matchmaker if anything. 

One we didn’t exactly see coming. Well, we saw it coming because of course we know everything over here. Glasses (@littlexunsteady) and Ortho Baby (@ofseattles). Let’s back it up for a minute and talk about this. Glasses who was dating McVirgin is now with Ortho Baby. The boy thought he was straight, ha! I saw that coming from a mile away. We’ve got another one for the gays. McChristian (@ofseattles). You’ve heard that right. Those Kepner sisters are busy and god bless. Ladies what does god think about your sins? We didn’t see McChristian being gay but just means another win for the gays. McSunShine (@brokenrollercoaster), we congratulate you for showing her what she’s been missing.  

We’ve got a nurse trying to hook-up everyone. Casanova (@keatonselby) is really putting himself out there. So far we know he’s slept with Little Link (@ofseattles). Oh, this is news. Evil Spawn (@mediiicals) and Princess (@aeipcthys) kissed. You heard that correct. They kissed, wondering how that is going to workout for them. We might have our next McDreamy on our hands. Clean Kerrigan (@canyouholdme) sleeping with McSparkly (@aeipcthys). Could work out for them but then again. Where’s the fun in that?

We’ve got a hook-up that ended… well not great. The drama in this one is exactly what we look for around here. Ice Queen (@seattlites) slept with McBland (@scrubsandarmchairs). No surprise there but McBland you know how Ice Queen is so really this is your fault for what happened next. They ended up fighting afterwards. That’s not fun. 

Speaking of fights we’ve had a few iconic fights lately. Let’s start with McHeartBreak (@sgmwesters), Attachment Barbie (@scrubsandarmchairs) & Gossip Queen (@mediiicals). Cardio chicks! What are you doing? You have to stick together. All because McHeartBreak is in a hospital bed. Psh. Ladies let her live a little bit and relax. Next, our favorite cheating scandal that never seems to end is once again fighting. Can’t say we are surprised. Little Miss Mistress (@canyouholdme) and McLawyer (@seattlites) , maybe try not to argue anymore. Move on and let it go as Elsa would say. McLawyer, if you knew what feelings were you probably wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place. 

Let’s dedicate an entire section for the Walker siblings because they have all been up to no good. Where to start first? Let’s start with Little Miss Dumper (@seattlites). She broke off her engagement and now is having a pity party. Honey, pity parties don’t look good on you. You know what they say? The best way to get over someone is to get under someone new. Maybe, give it a shot. We’ve heard it works. Max, Mary, whatever her name is has showed up in Seattle. Bringing chaos everywhere she goes. I think i’m going to call her. Miss Mischief (@lostatseattle). I saved the best for last. Looks like Mr. Excitement’s (@brokenrollercoaster) ex Runaway Baby (@strengthbound) showed up with a kid in tow. Not only a kid but a three year old to boot. Yikes. That is going to be a drama we want to keep up on. Good luck, kids.   

This one really gave us a run for our money. Let’s really talk about it first. So Gossip Queen (@mediiicals) left Mr. A Little Late (@sgmwesters) because he didn’t want kids or whatever. Now he says he wants them. You know they say the POP is real in this relationship. You know, Mr. A Little Late. There are plenty of dads around here, go ask one for some advice.  

Our last bit of gossip goes out to Original McJunkie. Boy Scout (@sgmwesters) organized an intervention for everything. Guess it worked because we are free of her and she is back in New York at a rehab facility. Adios, chica.  

That is all for today kids. You have been busy and I need to go recoup from all of this nonsense. Let’s make it fun, send us some FMK questions and we will give you our best answers.

[traumagossip]

Well, well, well seems like you have all been very busy. This is going to be a long one so buckle up and enjoy the ride...xoxo. 

What is with Seattle and all the ex’s showing up. They are ex’s for a reason. Hell, most of them have moved across the country and yet here we are in ex central let’s see who is up first. Hmm… there’s just so many to pick from let’s start with ex’s that already live here. Seems like ManWhore Junior (@littlexunsteady) decided to take matters into his own hands and punch McFlirty (@sgmwesters) to defend She-Link’s (@brokenrollercoaster) honor but did he need to do that? I think Manwhore Junior has more to worry about than McFlirty. Hope you enjoy that black eye pretty boy. 

Speaking of the Price’s looks like McTrouble (@scrubsandarmchairs) has an ex in Seattle as well. Doesn’t look good for Not Luke Scott (@canyouholdme) though. The Price’s are all out for blood at least he has McGeorgia Peach (@brokenrollercoaster) on his side. Good luck Not Luke Scott! You’re going to need it. It seems as though McMom (@strengthbound) thought moving to Seattle would get rid of her ex-wife (@savealife) completely. Sorry honey, it’s not that simple but we applaud you for trying. No starting over for you. 

Now, this one came in with a bang. McDumped (@seattlites). An ex-fiancee (@aeipcthys) and an ex-girlfriend (@sgmwesters) in the same building. Seems a bit much to handle doesn’t it? We suggest hiding as far away from them as possible if you plan on making it out alive.  

Speaking of baggage. Just when we all thought McSad (@seattleco) was finally going to find happiness with Miss Escape (@aeipcthys) here comes an ex. Ouch. Hurt’s doesn’t it Miss Escape. Although, we like to see the drama the McEx (@seattlites) is going to bring.

Our newest ex has arrived stalking his ex-girlfriend in the ambulance bay. Seems a bit much doesn’t it Daddy’s Boy (@ofseattles)? McBlondie (@brokenrollercoaster ) deserves better than a man who let’s his parent’s treat someone like that. And she just got dumped. The poor girl doesn’t get a break. Someone come save her or don’t we like to see what dumpster fire is going to happen because of this. Keeping the popcorn on standby. 

Ah… okay this one deserves his very own section right here. Mr. A Little Late (@sgmwesters). Can we believe he came here wanting Gossip Queen (@mediiicals) back that easily? Let’s pause for a moment of laughter. Seattle really brings out the simps. Getting hot and frisky in an on-call room while Gossip Queen has a boyfriend…. Oh…. wait. She doesn’t! Just using ManWhore Junior to get Mr. A Little Late worked up. We enjoy this mess. Keep us entertained kids. In other news it looks like the cardio chicks (@scrubsandarmchairs & @brokenrollercoaster) might fight off Mr. A Little Late. 

Now ManWhore Junior do you enjoy causing all this drama because we have another one coming your way. It’s a big one folks. Get ready…. ManWhore Junior a father? Did we enter into another reality? Baby Momma (@ofseattles) you really screwed up this one. You dug yourself into a deep hole have fun getting out of it!

Let’s get the hook-ups or hook-don’t out of the way shall we? Evil Spawn (@mediiicals) & Neuro Minion (@seattlites) . A duo we fully support. Wonder how McItalian (@bettxrnow) feels about this? Oh wait! He’s sleeping with everyone in Seattle. It’s a good thing that Orgasm Queen (@ofitalians) decided to finally join us or is it? Good for McItalian but less gossip for us to report. McBlondie & Ice Queen (@seattlites). That is too much hotness to handle. Daddy’s Boy who? As always Ice Queen is clearly making her rounds. She kissed... wait for it. McBland (@scrubsandarmchairs). Just friends, my ass. Good try Ice queen. This next one is something else. Little Miss Perfect (@sgmwesters) & Mini McLawyer (@mediiicals). Now, now before you all get too excited they have only kissed. It seems as though McLawyer (@seattlites) is pissed. Why does he get to sleep around while married but Little Miss Perfect & Mini McLawyer who are both single can’t kiss? McLawyer you need to get your priorities straight. On to the next. McDorky (@brokenrollercoaster) & Little Grey (@littlexunsteady) . Woah, okay. A duo we never thought would end up back together. From McSteamy (@seattlites) to McDorky? Seems like a downgrade to us but Little Grey keeps going to McDorky. Rumor has it she is living with him now. Moving on quickly we see.

As if having a set of twins wasn’t confusing as it is, let's add another one to the bunch. Why are the cardio chicks keeping their twins from everyone in the hospital? Don’t think you can measure up to them? And why do they all have names that start with an A. (@canyouholdme @brokenrollercoaster @mediiicals & @savealife)

Speaking of sisters, it looks like McGeorgia Peach (@brokenrollercoaster) has a sister. Congrats! Oh, except not congrats because she didn’t know about the sister when her father decided to sleep around. Now she can’t even talk to him about it cause he’s dead. Yikes. Should’ve stayed far away, McSister 2.0(@sgmwesters) .

Onto the Shepherd clan. You thought you could all escape hearing about them for once? You were wrong. This family is a disaster that we look forward to hearing about. McDreamy (@mediiicals) and Little Grey are fighting and she gave up neurosurgery? Ouch. First McSteamy and now neuro? Doesn’t look good for her. Things don’t look good for the Shepherd sisters. First McJunkie (@incorrigibled) finds out that her child has no brain. A neurosurgeon with a child who has no brain. Seems like the universe hates her. We will see how long her relationship with McRich (@brokenrollercoaster) lasts. Then McSister (@canyouholdme) has a miscarriage. Things are not going well for them. Speaking of McRich, it looks like he got into a fight with McWitch (@scrubsandarmchairs). This isn’t high school anymore McWitch you don’t have to pick a fight with everyone. But what we really learned from this is that she clearly loves McJunkie but that’s a story for another day. We all thought McHottie (@savealife) was leaving McLawyer in the dust. Apparently that isn’t true. We think. They need to figure it out and let us know what is happening. Onto the honorary shepherd sibling. McSteamy. He has definitely put himself into a pickle here. Good luck, McSteamy and while you’re at it try not to knock anyone else up.

With better news it looks like our favorite Mercy Westers are moving in together. Wonder how god feels about that one McVirgin (@sgmwesters)? We’ve all been rooting for this one. It’s time to dump Glasses (@littlexunsteady) and be with a real man. Especially one who looks like Pretty Boy (@littlexunsteady). 

Lastly let’s talk about the Lincoln siblings. All we have to say is thank god their aunt (@strengthbound) is here to keep them all in check. Although… we are exactly sure she is the best at that. We love a messy aunt. Speaking of family, McOrtho’s (@bettxrnow) biological mom (@chaoticxgood) has brought herself into the picture. Can’t wait to see how this plays out. We will sit back and watch the disaster. 

That was a lot. You people have been up to a lot but we love it. Keep us busy. Send us any questions you have.

[traumagossip]

It’s a lovely Thursday for some Gossip. So send it to us. We will be waiting. 

[traumagossip]

bev knows that offering drugs to amelia right after her fiance overdosed might be the worst thing she's ever done, right?

You think doctors were smart, but no. 

[traumagossip]

Is glasses really that oblivious or is he just pulling the psych along??

His name is glasses, maybe he just needs an updated prescription. Open your eyes intern. 

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Arizona leaving her baby with a stranger? Yikes, hasn't she heard of a nanny?

Violet doesn’t have a good track record with babies, haven’t you heard? Yikes indeed.

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I heard that the new CNA Elain is in love with Larissa. She looks like a lost little puppy around her, and Larissa looks like she has no clue.

She can’t even be a nurse without crying. She is a puppy.