do not touch

vent blog about trauma this is a very complicated place because my thoughts often are. if you can't relate to my trauma or want an "abused kid/adult" aesthetic then don't interact. meant to be viewed on desktop 28 ✖ mew/mews ✖ cocsa+abuse i don't tag for triggers unless it's a flashing image or video, this isn't to be like "lol fuck triggers" but this is literally a blog about my abuse, if you do not like that i don't tag triggers then unfollow me.

[traumavevo]

i dunno how to tell you this but lying about your ex friends that YOU did dirty and stalking/encouraging stalking them is super fucked up actually!

[traumavevo]

god this whole thing is literally punching down also i'm literally a nobody that had maybe 20 friends on social media and the moment i go "hey actually my ex friends are lying about me, go look at how baseless and stupid this is" everybody who has 0 communication skills and inability to set boundaries and then lie about things being fine when asked came out and went "actually i was abused/made uncomfortable by them for the longest time ever i am the real victim, not them!"

[traumavevo]

yeah sorry dipshit (faunacube) but literally none of that is true. the callout wasn't true, what you said about me wasn't true, what they said about me prior to the callout wasn't true, and you were just capitalizing on somebody vocally talking baseless shit about me publicly. the only thing that was true was the kys comments and the more time has passed the more i dont actually give a shit at all about thinking "yeah its bad" because you are chronically online and hopped up on twitter culture. what you enabled others to do to me is abusive. point blank. you deserved it. they deserved it. they deserved worse, actually. and you're a major fucking pussy threatening "legal action" when all of this is just fucking internet furry drama that exploded.

soooo sorry that i said you were friends with zoophiles. except one of them literally came out on their twitter and said that they don't think bestiality/zoo art is as bad as real acts and shouldn't be focused on at all. and then all their friends clapped and cheered. nothing i said aside from speculation about why you BACKSTABBED ME was false, in the end.

[traumavevo]

i finally read a google doc they made about me and.. are you fucking serious lmao you led me on for months, calling me your best friend, letting me mod for your twitch (which i didnt even ask for, you just gave it to me?) and yet i was "loosely" your friend and you wanted to cut me off wayyy earlier? you're either a manipulative liar or you're lying for clout and to make yourself look as if you knew all along i was a villain when that's completely false and i have no idea whats worse.

[traumavevo]

still so fucking bewildered that faunacube says my behavior towards others trying to lead a smear campaign against me based off of nothing and me snapping after being pushed and prodded to my literal breaking point by what was happening is somehow worse than those same people doing the above and then also fucking stalking me back a decade. 10 years. come the fuck on.

[traumavevo]

sick of this "my friends warned me about you" shit no tf they didn't lol.

[traumavevo]

"stop romanticizing bpd" people are doing that? where?

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

How to Recognize a Toxic Friend

1. Is this a person who always puts you down? A friend is someone who accepts you as you are – and allows you to be different, and to think for yourself, and to make your own decisions – without an explanation. However, if a person is demeaning or always puts you down, criticises your opinions, or the way you dress or look, then that’s someone to avoid as they’re a toxic friend.

2. Do they gossip about you? A friend is someone you can totally trust. You can share your deepest secrets, and say what’s on your mind – and they won’t tell a person or betray your trust. However, if you always have to watch what you say around a friend, as they’re likely to gossip or let a secret slip, then it’s likely that this person is a toxic friend.

3. Do they constantly mock and make fun of you? A bit of gentle ribbing shows affection between friends. But if they’re always making fun of you, or highlighting your faults, or attacking you in public, then they’re not a genuine friend.

4. How do you feel after being with your friend? Think about your answers to the following:

- Do you feel defensive when you spend time with them?

- Do you feel hurt or upset after spending time with them?

- Do you feel as if you always have to justify yourself instead of being natural around your friend?

- Do you enjoy their company or do you feel ambivalent?

- Do they undermine your confidence and self-esteem?

- Do you feel attacked and used after spending time with them?

- Does the friendship feel unbalanced and require a lot of work?

- Is it more a competition than a genuine friendship?

[traumavevo]

1: / 2: n/a during 3: n/a during 4: x n/a / enjoy during n/a n/a / idk

[traumavevo]

im just tired of this life. i dont want to die, not really. i just want it to be better and meaningful.

[traumavevo]

everytime i think about the chance of my return flight being cancelled i think how horrible could that really be? at least short term.. long term it would genuinely suck but i wouldnt mind just staying there for a longer while.. i just know that i would get homesick and snappy about it which is why i didnt bother staying longer than 2 weeks.

[traumavevo]

i follow back on my main. i don't trigger tag unless it can cause epilepsy and/or seizures. (this is a blog about my trauma and if you need certain things tagged then i implore u not to follow bc my blog is like.. about the abuse i faced and my ideations so ??) i use tags as extra commentary/subscript or i use it to promote my posts in the actuallyabused etc tags

[traumavevo]

ITS FIXED..

[traumavevo]

dsjfhsjghj the new theme im using not only doesnt have pagination but it also doesnt have expanded note functionality. cmon..

[traumavevo]

i updated my desktop tumblr theme and then realized the nav is gone.

[traumavevo]

also vox no wonder ur ex put a curse on u. i shouldve asked what happened but i didn't want to be invasive and pry but i definitely do not think that you were the victim there either lol

[traumavevo]

i hope vox wakes up one day and realizes how badly he fucked up with me and is driven to despair over it knowing no matter what he does i will never forgive him and he will never forgive himself. i hope he is tormented by the thought of me.

[traumavevo]

and vox has the audacity to say that me saying "i hope u die" to them was uncalled for. so is stalking me and making a huge bullshit post about me, several times, and lying to our ex mutual friends about what happened.