terrifying cretin

Your name is GEZA MAKARA and you face the darkness alone. You wouldn't have it any other way. sober since: 11/8/13 breaks: 2/12 + 2/14/14

[treacherouscarnival]

i.) janice <> jadine thing i worked on for a bit though unfortunately lost some of the progress in the skin when my computer froze

ii.) limited color palette speedpaint of eriq to these two songs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0H2D71nEYQs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPAxrGT2emw

[eyeflyfood]

[eyeflyfood]

questionable pride

[treacherouscarnival]

weird saul with trippy color scheme i drew for his birthday

[treacherouscarnival]

random headcanons most of you know i just wanted to compile them together in a text

ii.) kinsey five; androphile. attracted to masculinity in all genders but with a strong preference for biological males though occasionally deviates from the pattern (i.e. janice, feli)

iii.) has a cross tattoo on back, tattoos of nuns on his arms, a pansy on his shoulder, bows on the back of his legs (a drunk dare), there are more but im too tired.

iv.) used to be very into drag. lately hasn't done so as much and feels more unsettled with his relationship with femininity.  uses juggalo makeup to hide the fact he just enjoys wearing makeup. 

v.) very high anxiety, huge fear of abandonment. tries to be a 'perfect friend' and then spontaneously combusts from suppressing his true emotions.

vi.) probably out of all his friends is the most relaxed with johnyn and saul though still carries stress about it.

vii.) feels pretty powerless in davvez's slow spiral into self-destruction and has a hard time articulating that fear. feels like a burden for occupying the same space as davvez and feels like his own depression and nihilism is a bad influence for him. 

viii.) has dysmorphia from where caliborn shot him to the point where he sees bullet holes all over his chest that don't really exist. refuses to let his torso be seen because of this.

ix.) smokes to the extent where he can forget to eat for two or three days at a time. also uses e-cigs to satiate oral fixation.

x.) mean drunk, very high alcohol tolerance. thinks it's because he's bitter, but really the drinks don't mix well with his schizophrenia medication. 

xi.) is freakishly flexible, double jointed. very agile, but for only short periods of time. bad endurance. pretty weak and can't hit that hard but has very good timing and can get his enemies quickly into positions that will significantly disadvantage them.

xii.) has a very hard time remembering things because of the holes in his brain, but once he remembers, he remembers forever. spends a lot more time studying than people realize since he needs to pass college and the information doesn't like to stick to his brain. 

[treacherouscarnival]

geza pictures with/without fucking with the hue/input/and saturation

i should have colored under the lineart and saturated earlier and the second one is too pixely but its one of my first times be nice

edit: deleted second picture tumblr fucked up quality

[zoomwitch]

i love not all men jokes because no matter how incredibly blatantly a joke it is a dude will show up 2 treat it sincerely, thus fulfilling the punchline

[treacherouscarnival]

what do you mean not all motherfucking men :o( 

[nikolawashere]

[treacherouscarnival]

hella crafts

[treacherouscarnival]

[02:26] TC: hi

[02:26] GG: hello geza!

[02:26] TC: whoa you sound a lot better

[02:26] TC: i was worried about you last night

[02:27] TC: :o(

[02:27] GG: oh yeah, sorry about that.

[02:27] GG: i wasn't in a good mood at all.

[02:29] GG: but i went to see a movie with johnyn so i am in a much better mood.

[02:29] TC: yeah i didn't know what was up with you

[02:29] TC: i didn't really want to approach you because i didn't wanna motherfucking stress you none

[02:29] TC: but i was thinking about you

[02:29] TC: did the movie go well?

[02:30] GG: the movie was okay! i like it.

[02:30] GG: it was a little lame but eh. johnyn and i laughed at it.

[02:31] GG: i don't know what happened last night really.

[02:31] TC: heh that might explain a choice thing

[02:31] TC: i didn't realize you guys were so close

[02:31] TC: i mean i did kinda because he always gets all bearish and protective when you're around but

[02:32] TC: wow i'm rambling i'm motherfuckin exhausted

[02:32] GG: hehehehe, you need to sleep more.

[02:32] GG: yeah, johnyn is my best friend.

[02:32] GG: at least i like to think of him that way.

[02:33] TC: he's a pretty cool dude and seems to share the motherfucking sentiment so it ain't no damage

[02:34] GG: he is!

[02:34] TC: yeah all of you trolls are pretty chill i like hanging out with you guys a lot

[02:35] GG: well, most of us are.

[02:37] TC: :o?

[02:37] GG: rosela isn't very chill.

[02:37] TC: hahahahahaha

[02:38] GG: more like a pain in the ass.

[02:38] TC: yeah she's like totally high maitenance

[02:38] TC: think she should have some bonding time with the bong or some shit

[02:39] GG: i can't imagine her ever trying anything like that.

[02:39] GG: trying to picture her high is silly.

[02:39] TC: heheheh

[02:40] TC: it's certaintly plausible though

[02:40] TC: i mean i'm just saying that as like a friend to her

[02:40] GG: i guess you could try.

[02:41] TC: i'm not like trying to drug her and get in the grey threeway quadrant

[02:41] GG: but i don't see her going for anything fun.

[02:41] GG: oh my god.

[02:42] TC: well supposedly she's taking me to the mall tomorrow

[02:42] TC: but just probably to peck at my brain on some lord of the flies harshnasty

[02:42] TC: but she told me she'd buy me a pretzel from auntie annie's

[02:42] GG: don't let her put you in a suit.

[02:45] TC: wait are we playing dressup or you mean like an asylum

[02:46] TC: because that's the choice thing i'm done worrying about

[02:46] GG: both.

[02:46] GG: both are possible.

[02:46] TC: wow i feel the love here

[02:46] TC: but yeah you're probably right

[02:46] TC: she just wants to help me

[02:46] TC: :o(

[02:46] GG: its just that she is just like she was when i first talked to her over trollian.

[02:47] GG: i don't know what is up?

[02:47] GG: *.

[02:47] TC: hahahaha

[02:48] TC: yeah i think she just needs a better outlet to get her rage on

[02:48] TC: i think she's just hungry

[02:48] TC: for like

[02:49] TC: one of your troll romancy things

[02:49] TC: the hatesex one

[02:49] GG: i...

[02:49] TC: shit i didn't make you uncomfortable

[02:49] GG: i don't.

[02:49] GG: i don't know if i could ever do that with rosela.

[02:49] TC: whoa whoa whoa

[02:49] TC: hold the phone

[02:50] TC: i wasn't saying you

[02:50] TC: i just meant like

[02:50] TC: in general

[02:50] TC: she's just like

[02:50] TC: oh god

[02:50] GG: fuck.

[02:50] TC: no i wasn't projecting that at you

[02:50] TC: i mean

[02:50] TC: whoa

[02:50] TC: wait

[02:50] GG: i don't. uh.

[02:50] TC: i mean do you dislike anyone?

[02:50] TC: oh god i need to stop trying to do this poly troll thing

[02:51] GG: i.

[02:51] TC: jadine i don't want johnyn to beat me up

[02:51] TC: i wasn't like

[02:51] TC: i fucked up

[02:52] GG: i won't tell him.

[02:52] TC: no i mean

[02:52] GG: i don't think he needs to know about this.

[02:52] TC: wait this

[02:52] TC: okay

[02:52] TC: i need to stop trying to freud

[02:52] TC: because now i don't know what you're thinking i said

[02:53] TC: and i don't know what you're thinking i said

[02:53] TC: wow fuck this is why none of my friendships last

[02:53] GG: its so confusing.

[02:53] TC: yeah we can stop talking about this

[02:53] TC: but i mean if you ever want me to hook you up i'm your guy

[02:54] TC: but you seem to be handling that pretty well on your own rn so i'll just

[02:54] TC: stop trying to do psychology just because i took the course for half a semester

[02:54] GG: i think that is a really smart idea.

[02:55] TC: i mean if you want to tell johnyn tell him i mean i don't think he'll beat me up before he forces me to watch a gay lion yaoi

[02:56] GG: gay lion yaoi??

[02:57] TC: well not like homosexual gay

[02:57] TC: but it's still gay because it's about friendship

[02:57] GG: friendship isn't gay!

[02:57] TC: are you saying it's bad to be gay?

[02:58] GG: no! of course not.

[02:59] TC: then why can't friendship be gay?

[02:59] TC: like things are just gay like my shitty mushrooms i draw

[02:59] TC: but it's not like my mushrooms are like buff dudes

[02:59] TC: they're just really fruity

[02:59] TC: fuck just

[02:59] GG: okay okay they can be gay.

[02:59] TC: cultural differences i guess

[03:00] TC: uh okay this conversation is getting worse and worse

[03:00] TC: how are your classes going?

[03:00] GG: they are going okay. thank goodness i am almost done.

[03:02] TC: i feel that

[03:02] GG: though i will probably be stuck at school when classes are over.

[03:02] TC: put down the paintbrush for the final time today

[03:02] TC: well i'll be stuck here too since i ain't got no place to go

[03:02] GG: yeah, that is the same with me.

[03:06] TC: is there anywhere on this shit planet you're motherfucking interested at visiting?

[03:06] GG: i want to go everywhere.

[03:07] GG: i am not sure exactly where though.

[03:07] GG: i have already been to canada.

[03:07] GG: well, in parts of canada.

[03:07] TC: canada is cold and lame

[03:08] GG: it is not!

[03:08] TC: did they have good maple syrup?

[03:08] GG: yeah, it did!

[03:11] TC: why were you in canada again?

[03:11] TC: just a field trip or something

[03:11] GG: it was before we went to college, and i was looking around for places to live.

[03:11] GG: it was nice.

[03:12] TC: oh shit that does make sense

[03:14] GG: it was nice to get away from people.

[03:14] GG: i don't think humans are really use to trolls yet either.

[03:14] TC: yeah the workers at taco bell are dicks

[03:16] GG: people are rude in a lot of fast food places.

[03:17] TC: ihop is really chill

[03:17] TC: i want ihop again

[03:17] TC: i should have leeched off rosela

[03:17] GG: i enjoyed the pancakes.

[03:18] TC: me too

[03:18] TC: the butter is really creamy

[03:18] GG: i enjoyed the blue berries.

[03:19] TC: i'm sure you did

[03:19] GG: ):)

[03:21] TC: heheheheheheh

[03:22] TC: well i'm going to go take a nap now but it was nice talking to ya again

[03:22] GG: it was nice talking to you too!

[03:23] TC: aight see you around

[wonderlandtattoospdx]

Super colorful peacock shoulder cap by Alice Kendall!

[amazoogle]

[treacherouscarnival]

[12:51] CG: ARE YOU HOLDING HANDS

[12:51] TC: wait

[12:51] TC: no what are you talking about

[12:51] TC: wait

[12:51] TC: shit

[12:52] TC: are we holding hands

[12:52] CG: WHAT?

[12:52] TC: no that's just a cigarette

[12:52] CG: ARE YOU?

[12:52] CG: HOW DO YOU MISTAKE...

[12:52] CG: NEVERMIND

[12:52] TC: well he's really warm

[12:53] CG: ...

[12:53] TC: did i offend you?

[12:53] TC: i mean just because he's like a mutant and stuff

[12:53] TC: and

[12:54] TC: oh no

[12:54] CG: NO YOU DIDN'T OFFEND ME?

[12:55] TC: i don't

[12:55] TC: what's going on?

[12:55] CG: I'M JUST CURIOUS ABOUT SOMETHING

[12:55] TC: oh god

[12:55] TC: just spit it out

[12:56] CG: RELAX, IT'S NO BIG DEAL

[12:57] TC: okay i mean

[12:57] TC: i trust you dude do your thing

[12:57] CG: WELL I DON'T WANT TO MAKE YOU UNEASY?

[12:58] CG: OKAY LOOK

[12:58] CG: I WAS JUST WONDERING IF YOU MAYBE LIKE DAVVEZ

[12:58] TC: i mean he's cool i don't want him to die or anything

[12:58] CG: HOPEFULLY YOU FEEL SIMILIARLY ABOUT MOST OF US

[12:59] TC: i do

[12:59] CG: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN BY LIKE, RIGHT?

[12:59] TC: unfortunately

[01:00] CG: YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME

[01:00] CG: I WAS JUST WONDERING

[01:00] TC: i've never really thought about it

[01:00] TC: he's just there for me a lot and i fall back into equilibrium

[01:01] CG: YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT HOW HIS HANDS ARE WARM

[01:01] TC: well i mean it's just like a physical feature

[01:01] TC: like how i have a bent up nose

[01:02] CG: I ONLY REALLY HOLD HANDS WITH TERI

[01:02] CG: MAYBE IT'S NOT A ROMANTIC GESTURE FOR EVERYONE THOUGH

[01:02] TC: no we don't hold hands i mean

[01:02] TC: unless he's passing me a beer

[01:02] TC: it was just circumstansial

[01:02] TC: an observational circumstance

[01:02] TC: yeah that's what it was

[01:03] CG: YOU SOUND REAL CONVINCING

[01:03] TC: i had finals today

[01:03] TC: shit karl you can't just drop this on a brother

[01:03] CG: WELL I ASSUMED YOU WERE AWARE

[01:03] TC: i was just listening to some kendrick polishing off jesus's head i didn't ask to be fucking shipped

[01:04] CG: I'M NOT SHIPPING YOU

[01:04] TC: yeah bro

[01:04] TC: you are totally shipping me

[01:04] CG: I'M NOT

[01:04] CG: I DON'T CARE IF YOU LIKE HIM OR NOT

[01:05] CG: I JUST THOUGHT

[01:05] TC: what i mean you don't need to pity me

[01:05] TC: i mean i don't expect to end up with everything this ain't gonna be janice 2.0

[01:05] TC: i mean not everyone is cut out for relationships

[01:06] CG: YOU DON'T KNOW THAT YOU AREN'T?

[01:06] TC: i don't want to hurt anyone :o(

[01:07] CG: YOU WON'T

[01:08] CG: ISN'T HE ALWAYS THE ONE WHO CALMS YOU DOWN WHEN YOU GET EDGY?

[01:08] TC: yeah but i mean that's like a survival instinct

[01:08] TC: i mean he's just smart he knows to not tick me off

[01:09] CG: I THINK HE CARES ABOUT YOU

[01:09] TC: i mean that's only natural i mean he's lived with me for like two motherfucking years now

[01:11] CG: WE'VE ONLY BEEN LIVING WITH OUR ROOMMATES LIKE 7 MONTHS?

[01:11] CG: LOOK GEZA, IT DOESN'T MATTER TO ME

[01:11] CG: I JUST WAS CURIOUS!

[01:12] CG: AND IF YOU BY CHANCE NEEDED SOMEONE TO TALK TO ABOUT IT, IF THERE WAS ANYTHING TO TALK ABOUT, I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW I COULD POTENTIALLY BE A PERSON THAT COULD BE SPOKEN TO ABOUT IT

[01:12] TC: well thanks

[01:12] TC: i mean i can see why you would think things like that but he's just not like that

[01:13] TC: but i know you're here if i ever need it for anything

[01:13] CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE'S NOT LIKE THAT?

[01:14] TC: he's just weird i don't think he means things by it

[01:14] TC: he just has weird ways of displaying friendship

[01:14] TC: i mean if he considers us friends

[01:14] TC: i dunno

[01:15] CG: DUDE HE ABSOLUTELY CONSIDERS YOU FRIENDS

[01:15] TC: yeah i hope so

[01:15] TC: i don't want him to be nice to me just because i'm unstable

[01:16] CG: HE ISN'T

[01:17] TC: i hope so

[01:17] TC: shit i need to take a shower dude but thanks for chillin

[01:17] TC: see you at ihop bro

[01:17] CG: OKAY

[treacherouscarnival]

[10:06] TT: Marriage is so strange.

[10:06] TC: not something i know too much about myself

[10:06] TC: my parents didn't really like each other too much

[10:07] TC: i went to a lot of weddings though

[10:07] TT: I went to one last month.

[10:07] TT: It was very nice but incredibly strange.

[10:07] TC: you did?

[10:07] TT: Yes, one of Kana's sisters got married.

[10:07] TC: oh how was it?

[10:08] TT: Very busy. Her family is insanely large.

[10:08] TT: The whole concept is very endearing in a way, though.

[10:10] TC: do you think you'd ever want to get human married?

[10:10] TC: if you could?

[10:10] TT: Maybe.

[10:11] TT: I've been thinking about this for a while, honestly.

[10:11] TT: It would be such a short event.

[10:12] TT: Which means it wouldn't be particularly challenging to try?

[10:13] TT: Spending a lifetime with someone.

[10:13] TT: But in my case it's a little different.

[10:13] TT: Spending a person's lifetime with them?

[10:13] TT: That seems more accurate.

[10:15] TC: yeah basically

[10:15] TC: it's a big commitment

[10:15] TC: i think it's sweet

[10:15] TC: i think if i ever found the right guy

[10:15] TC: you know like bro

[10:15] TC: i could do it

[10:15] TC: but idk that is a long time i agree

[10:16] TC: :o|

[10:16] TT: Well, it's really not.

[10:16] TT: What would it be, around sixty years?

[10:19] TC: i dunno it's still a long time

[10:19] TC: i don't think i could keep anyone liking me all those years

[10:19] TC: they'd get antsy and want out

[10:20] TT: Why do you think that?

[10:20] TC: not good longterm

[10:20] TC: get pushed too quick

[10:21] TC: panic and lie a lot of the motherfucking time

[10:21] TC: don't think nobody wants to hear the motherfucking truth

[10:21] TT: The truth?

[10:21] TC: but i don't want to spontaneously combust on that whack shit

[10:22] TC: truth about what i am and what made me

[10:22] TC: don't think i could be no stable lover

[10:22] TT: With the right person, perhaps.

[10:22] TT: I didn't really factor in either member of the party changing their mind.

[10:24] TC: yeah that happens a lot

[10:24] TC: that's the problem with human marriage

[10:24] TC: it ain't supposed to dissolve in our culture

[10:24] TC: but it happens a lot the motherfucking anyways

[10:26] TT: Typical.

[10:27] TC: of humans?

[10:27] TT: Yes.

[10:28] TC: that we're all flighty broads and some shit?

[10:28] TT: Only a handful of you are worthwhile.

[10:28] TC: i think you'd find us all worthwhile

[10:28] TC: we are suprisingly durable

[10:29] TC: and have large hands that can lay the motherfucking foundations of marble down on your pillars

[10:29] TT: There's no genetic curbing, so many of the results are less than satisfactory.

[10:29] TT: True, I suppose the massive numbers that your vile reproduction yields would lend itself well to labor.

[10:30] TT: Most of our friends are in the clear, though.

[10:32] TC: most?

[10:32] TC: who would you say is bricky?

[10:32] TC: besides me i mean.

[10:32] TC: i aim to serve.

[10:32] TC: i'm an excellent host

[10:32] TC: :o)

[10:37] TT: Well,

[10:37] TT: it's more that I have a list of people who are worth more.

[10:37] TT: *something instead of more

[10:38] TT: Kana, for example.

[10:38] TT: Teri, unfortunately.

[10:38] TT: And yourself. You have better places to be than on your hands and knees.

[10:39] TC: what would you say of?

[10:39] TC: me putting people on their knees?

[10:39] TC: would that be appropriate

[10:39] TT: A far better place for you.

[10:40] TC: sometimes i think

[10:40] TC: kneeling and gagging myself would

[10:40] TC: clear a brothers conscience

[10:40] TT: Do you?

[10:40] TT: ...

[10:41] TC: i'm not sure

[10:41] TC: i know i want it, but the reasons remain unclear

[10:41] TC: shit rosela just buy me a dominatrix

[10:45] TT: I'll put an order in for one.

[10:46] TT: Do you actually feel that you need a way to clear your conscience?

[10:47] TC: i think it will never be cleared

[10:47] TC: but i want to try

[10:47] TC: can't whine like a fat bitch in heat if i ain't got my backstory

[10:47] TC: i yearn for...

[10:47] TC: rest

[10:48] TT: ...

[10:48] TT: Let me help?

[10:51] TC: i'll try my best to let you in

[10:53] TT: Alright.

[10:53] TT: Tomorrow, then?

[10:53] TT: Perhaps after a trip to the mall?

[10:54] TT: You did request your attempts at stabilizing yourself in society to be spontaneous.

[10:54] TC: ah so that's when you dump the wicked shit high atop my palette

[10:54] TT: Yes.

[10:54] TC: yeah i can make it work tomorrow

[10:54] TC: i hope you come sutibly equipped

[10:54] TT: I haven't forgotten what you told me.

[10:57] TC: but will you adhere to it

[10:57] TC: guess i shouldn't ask

[10:57] TC: gotta keep it spontaneous

[10:57] TC: heheheheheheh

[10:57] TT: You're catching on.

[10:58] TT: Though, are you feeling ok tonight Geza?

[10:58] TC: i think so

[10:59] TC: are you?

[11:00] TT: Yes.

[11:02] TC: glad to hear it

[11:02] TT: Of course.

[11:09] TC: well i'm going to get to bed now

[11:09] TT: Alright.

[11:09] TT: I'll be there tomorrow.

[11:09] TT: Be ready.

[11:09] TC: i mean i'll be on my laptop but my brain is slowly turning to mashed potatoes

[11:09] TC: i'll be here

[smokingjointswithmileycyrus]

[treacherouscarnival]

<It took a lifespan with no cellmate The long way back Saying, "Hey, why can't we look the other way?">

-Evil, Interpol

[youdidnotseeme]

Just a little AU human gamzee being his charming self before bed. 

[treacherouscarnival]

geza  looks white and uses too much manic panic apparently enjoy this gay