DREAM COME TRUE

20 | blk, enby lesbian, she/they/it | diehard csm p2 defender | creator of takara hayakawa | pfp by @wishi-selfships

[treasuresawz]

Been watching Hannibal lately and God, it’d be sooo fun if Takara hallucinated Aki or Power even once during P2…I mean I won't let her lol–mostly because by the time she is mentally unstable enough to do so, she’s a lot more preoccupied doing things like, gestures to her murderposts. That aside though, I’m also more interested in the idea that, for all she misses Aki&Power and ruminates on all the things she could’ve done “right” to save them…it’s like her mind won’t let her properly see them outside of photographs and dreams ever again. Denji gets flashbacks of them during both Falling Arc and Aging Arc, because he deserves to, they were “better” family than Takara herself ended up being. But why should Takara get to see them after what she did? The idea that her subconscious self-loathing&guilt is strong enough to actively prevent even the slightest bit of comfort a hallucination could bring (while she has all but had a total mental breakdown and could use a little consolation even if it’s not real) intrigues me…

[treasuresawz]

chudling brother and I been watching the umamusume episodes that are free on YouTube and its not that bad tbh! Do nawt care for the trainer character LOL but special week is cute...it reminds me of azumanga despite that show being a lot more "grounded" (and also having an annoying gag pervert character so pfpft) once we're done tho (I think there's only like 3 episodes free LOL) I'm gonna try and get us to hop on the amogus show fire emoji

[boofinator]

Misc.

[kitwasheree]

no more what-ifs

[nuuppeppo]

sketchbook

[eoqina]

[idrawstuffo-o]

Makima

[tophatting]

I got g-pen ink nibs and all of the mangaka in the world are right: they're good

[mvtt3a]

"i wish... i'd tried living just a little more selfishly."

asa mitaka my favorite character from csm

i made a new watermark! let's hope it sticks

[treasuresawz]

i just knowww Takara would adore making kandi bracelets...it sucks to think it's one of those hobbies she would assume she'd be "shit" at and not pick up because it'd be so fun with her. picking out colors, charms, trying out complicated yet entertaining designs, it would be such a good way to mellow out and express herself too but, especially in p2, she doesn't like "wasting" money...she's convinced herself the most fun she has is watching TV with Denji and Nayuta but I know her hands are itching to DO something even if she thinks she wouldn't be any good at it! It's not a waste of anything if it makes you happy and you love doing it, Taka!!

[treasuresawz]

VERY nsfw (like theres a slight description of masturbation lol), probs will be the only time I post something this ermm mature here but we move, its pride month after all baybay <3

Takara doesn’t buy any porn mags or videos, its got less to do with her sexual repression and more her not wanting to waste money on useless shit. It's hard to get wet anyways, let alone work an orgasm out of it. Whenever she closes her eyes and imagines it’s some guy’s fingers rubbing fruitlessly at her cunt, she just gets pissed. At him for not being able to help her finish, at her for wanting him too, at her stupid cunt for not doing so at the drop of a hat so she could feel the high she used to love chasing back when things could be called good in her life. She goes to bed unsatisfied.

No longer a PSB agent post p1, she looks back at her time there as bitterly as you’d expect, but one thing she’s more confused than spiteful or remorseful or sad over is her attraction to women. Back then, it had seemed something “typical” of a girl her age, recently in the throes of young adulthood who just so happened to “admire” the looks and attitudes of other females in her age group. But as she reflects, it’s clear she harbored at the very least sexual curiosity about them even if she refuses to name any romantic kind. And what does Takara do about this revelation about herself? She chalks it up to a “phase”. Another part of her that won’t amount to much in the end. Even if she did try to explore this side of herself nowadays, what would be the point? She can’t trust any girl that shows interest in her, they’d probably be trying to get close to her to get to Denji and use him somehow. No point in getting her hopes up that it’d go down any differently.

And yet she flicks the channel to the women wrestling one, her eyes stare a little too long at businesswomen who stop by Family Mart before she looks away, whenever there’s an actress in an action flick her and Denji and Nayuta watch that played her role perfectly (typically the leading hero’s girl, but for all Takara cared the movie was about her before him, anyhow) she remembers her name from the credits and pours over magazines at work until she finds the ones with her inside it, soaking up every appealingly photographed page. Sure, she’ll never have the real thing (nor does she want it, surely. It had only been a phase. Of course.), but it’s a nice distraction when she needs to think about something other than wringing her arms around a customer’s neck.

[treasuresawz]

lowkey I was gonna make a post kind of ranting about how makima&asa are handled wayy better than the likes of jax&ragatha ("tragic" abuser and sidelined female co protag respectively) but tbh I can admit its a lil unfair to compare a short ass indie show to a 200+ page manga LOL. Im petty enough to do so yes but I also need to work on my actual p1-p2 analysis/defense/theoryposts that isn't just complaining about the fuckass circus show...goose shan't have anymore power over me 🔥

[treasuresawz]

sprayed a fly in the kitchen last night and didn't find its body so it lowkey probs died by the silverware and I could be eating lil fly bits when I use a spoon BUT. Its cool. Its cool. The new comb I picked up a few weeks back actually detangles my hair without breaking or hurting...#fawkyes

[radbunctious]

I don't care that the manga is over, he's still here in my kokoro

[venipedefan]

I don’t know if Japan has a similar conception of the heart as the metaphorical source of one’s desires, and I have no idea how I’d google it to check quickly, but I think it could be notable that Denji’s heart specifically is replaced by Pochita, given his whole thing with trying to achieve his base desires and it constantly ruining him, and the ending being Pochita, his heart, the source of his desires, destroying itself to free him from that cycle

[blazepandaartz]

Apple of my eye.

[ennnetc]

watched chainsaw man s1. dumbass and dreadful king dumbass III