I don’t want the power to revolutionize the world, but Himemiya needs me!
REVOLUTIONARY GIRL UTENA || EP 39: ‘And Someday, Together, We’ll Shine’
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@tree-lined-street
I don’t want the power to revolutionize the world, but Himemiya needs me!
REVOLUTIONARY GIRL UTENA || EP 39: ‘And Someday, Together, We’ll Shine’
unemployed girl is a species of creature that needs twelve hours sleep every day and six to eight hours of cuddles and maybe something else
omfg pls
crossfaded somewhere between "there has to be more to life than this" and "every mundane thing is beautiful when you're with people you love"
I will make a beautiful life for myself no matter how long it takes. I will I will I will
aromantic heart button
This is very stupid but it’s genuinely what I think about every time I consider skipping dinner after work
Edit: legit did not realize that senshis fighting for his life in the sexyman polls but I’m very happy to be spreading pro senshi propaganda
Yaniko Satou Chainsmoker Cat (2026) — 1x01
jax died before she could come out, and she died before she could become a better person and make any kind of amends with the people she hurt. I don't think the story was written that way by accident
she's horribly repressed and comes from horrible circumstances including homelessness. she also pushed away every hand extended to her and every chance she could have taken to get better. there were a million better decisions she could have made and she did not make them, and she caused an incredible amount of harm along the way. and still the story wants us to believe her worthy of being understood and loved
to come out would be to embody herself, to view herself as a real person, to start to leave the haze of dissociation that allows her to think of herself and everyone else as cartoon archetypes in a false world where nothing matters
she's desperate to stay in this world that she sees as false, where she's a funny cartoon character and she can still brush off the pain she causes as silly cartoon antics
it's exactly this dissociation that allows her not to take her own pain or the pain of others seriously. it was what ultimately led to her death. a jax that cannot come out is also a jax that cannot make amends
something I love about a tragic story, where a character fails to complete the arc that might have satisfied us as the audience, is that it asks us what led to the tragedy
the despair it leaves us with, the satisfaction it denies us, leaves us to yearn for things to have turned out differently. it leaves us thinking about what could have been done, what decisions could have been made, what different circumstances could have prevented the tragedy? dissatisfaction drives us to act
you're not supposed to be satisfied when she dies
I love, by the way, the matter-of-fact cut from her walking away to her already being gone. like many tragedies we experience in our lives, the news comes to us unceremoniously, undramatically, flatly. it arrives well after the moment where we could have been there. in one quiet moment the world shifts underneath our feet. at first it feels like nothing at all until the information percolates through us, manifesting first as a dull ache that feels inadequately small and insignificant
we don't get to ask "what could I have done if I were there," we can only ask "what could I have done before it got this bad?"
the more i talk to extended family the more i learn that it was EXTREMELY obvious to all the adults around me as a child that something had gone horribly wrong and i needed professional help, but i guess there's some sort of prime directive thing where you can suggest to the kid's parents that the kid might need help but you can never ever ever let on to the kid that you can tell something is wrong. you just have to hold on to that until the kid becomes an adult who's able to say "so i think i experienced a lot of trauma when i was very little" and then you can say "yes, i know. i didn't know what happened but it was completely unmissable that something had." okay. thank you. that's very validating. but why did you leave me to suffer and keep feeling like there was no other explanation than that i was broken and going insane. would it really have been so bad to sit me down and go "i see you. i can't help much, but i can tell something happened and you're in a lot of pain. you deserve help and support. you're not going insane." or something. i don't know. my internal experience was mostly that i had suddenly become a bad child who couldn't seem to get anything right and was always being yelled at. maybe it would have helped if someone had said something.
guys. guys i can't stop thinking about that transgender rabbit.
the bait and switch of the century. she's a terrible person. she used to be a tumblr sexyman. she's the most popular canon transfem character. ever. she has borderline personality disorder. she's a cringe girlfail lesbian. she's bugs bunny in her mind palace. she's even emo.
*
plath
restless spirits
you should have seen me a couple of years ago!
live shot of me recognizing a very applicable truth
ran out of things to run to or away from. what now