Oh Tumblr...
Why did I become nostalgic for you so fervently these past couple days? I'm not even drunk or high. Perhaps because I watched the 90s Sailor Moon anime start to finish for the first time in years?
I mean, probably. Like, definitely. Like honestly not even a question to be wistful and pensive over.
But WOW did I do a deep dive and realize that my brain had kind of locked away just how much joy and love and belonging I found in the community here. What a nutty thing to lock away. But it's probably because offline-physical-reality life at the time was not super stellar, and stuff got jumbled and mixed in the process of locking away.
And I've long since unlocked and confronted a lot of the yuck! Why was the good stuff still locked?! Human brains are funky.
My late acting coach Ted who utterly changed my life for the better when I first moved here to NYC always ended class saying "Remember, these are the good old days." The lesson being that anytime in your life that you have community and love and any spots of joy--regardless of whatever else is going on in life or the world--you will sooner or later look back fondly on that time. We can have multiple "good old days", heck we can have MANY "good old days" if we're lucky. I'm in the midst of a new one right now.
But Tumblr, you were easily one of my good old days.
And you're still here! And you surprisingly don't look THAT much different than how I remember, which is impressive for a site that constantly had me (many of us) asking, "Tumblr, why."
I wish I had the bandwidth, organization skills, and time management to commit to being at least slightly more present online. I'm not sure what that would look like, what I would share here. Bu I haaaave been working on leaning into the unknown more, so hey, who knows. This post came much more easily than I expected.
But whatever else, GOD I missed you. Like wow, it's hitting me even as I type this. The joy and friendship I found here outshines any of the downsides of this site and of fandom. Easily.
Not sure how to wrap this up. I guess I will leave it unwrapped.