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@trichvictim
I am recently doing a MA painting and just start a wordpress blog to record my daily practise. My research is on trichotillomania. Not sure if you guys interested or not but feel free to visit sometimes.
I also got a portfolio website that has more work on trichotillomania and er… cats. siriuscws.wixsite.com/portfolio
If you cut me I suppose I would bleed the colors of the evening stars.
My head is a map
That's how I feel whenever I go for a haircut
Two weeks ago I took all my courage to go into a salon to have a haircut. The most important thing is that I did a hair wash there as well. I have never washed my hair in public since 2007, because you know, it's so embarrassing and painful. I think I pull less this year so at least I won't have a mass bald area shown after wash, and that's why I dare to let strangers to touch/wash my hair.
My hairstylist convinced me to cut my hair short because he believed it will give me a better look. Turns out he's right, I really do like my hair now. And I was really in a good mood after the hair done, because I can't believe my hairstylist is actually flirting on me. I guess it's his trick to attract young customer to come back, but still I'm happy that I'm good enough to make him flirt. And this is my first time to encourter such thing :p. Most importantly he did put a lot of effort and time to cut my hair into layers, and make it looks thicker.
And at the same time, my new doctor gave me a new medicine. Although it's not specialized for Trichotillomania, but research proved that it helps a bit. And after taking the pill two weeks, I started to lose interest on white bulbs. I guess it's a good sign. Moreover, the side effect of the pill reduce my appetite. Of course I eat when I'm hungry, I just quit eating snacks when I'm not really hungry.
I think it's a new start. I should try come clean of pulling starting from that day. But sadly I failed. First few days I pulled once or twice. Yesterday I guess about ten. I'm not giving it up. I will still keep record and counting. I hope after few months when i go back to the salon I will be in a better shape.
I got to heal. I'm so sick of the pulling game.
Sometimes I feel guilty that I kill a life whenever I pull. It's my life I'm draining away.
Thoughts come into my head repeatedly. They could be random words I heard, or memories that hurt. I want to pull them out but they keep digging holes in my head.
Trapped in the temptation of the bulb.
I get tired of the pulling game.
Fingers are the one to blame