vax'ildan

dagger dagger dagger

[tridaggers]

muse : Vax’ildan fandom : Critical Role faceclaim : George Young ( Liam O’Brien (voiceclaim) referenced  ) mobile links : rules , about , verses , headcanons mun : Bas, she/they , 29 , CST , @findablog ( sideblog hub that this blog is connected to ) contact : ask box, IMs ( no first ooc interactions here ), disc. ( for friends only ) trigger warnings: This blog will discuss topics of death, trauma, ptsd, sacrifice, religion, and likely some more nsfw topics. If it was on critical role it will be here, but likely in more detail note: this blog is not spoiler free, i will tag, but expect spoilers especially for all of campaign 1 and respective c1 one shots

spoiler policy: As in my note I state that this blog is not spoiler free. I tag all my spoilers with “tw: spoilers” this is an always thing. I will try to tag respective CR media as such like “c3 spoilers” or “exu spoilers” You can fully expect spoilers tagged up until the week after an episode is released for podcast listening. Legend of Vox Machina spoilers will have the tags “lovm spoilers“ and “cr spoilers” in addition to my normal tw spoilers tag.

PERSONALS DO NOT REBLOG OR LIKE MY POSTS

[firepassed]

though she knows the gods exist, keyleth had always been one to believe in those they have granted their blessings to or in the nature she sees ever blooming before her eyes. she did not know the first thing about worship or prayer but she did know that she did not want vax to be alone if he did not want to be. his words brought the faintest smile to her lips. “ and i always want to be there for as long as you want me to be. ” what she wanted more than anything, though, was to take his hand. she fought the urge for now. “ you will have to show me a bit though. i don’t know anything really. ” especially when it comes to worship of the matron, a goddess whose domain keyleth feared so. she who keyelth would lose everything to.

[tridaggers]

He took her hand and began to lead her toward the temple. And it truly had the feel of a temple, although this temple seemed to have stairs that lead down, below the ground level from outside despite the building itself being massive. "I can show you, and you do not have to partake if you do not want." He would almost rather she didn't. After all he felt that some of the rituals and rights associated with the Matron were too intense especially for new comers. He knows he was overwhelmed at first. They began to walk in, going downwards the expanse above them seeming grandiose with dark stained glass displays depicting what could possibly be the Matron's ascent into godhood and how she came to her domain.

[firepassed]

his touch, his smile, his words were so warm and for a brief moment, she is worried that this might just be a dream. it didn't feel like one which only served to fill keyleth with even more confusion. she didn't question it, instead resting her hand over his own not to push it away, instead to encourage him. " ... i am not still now, am i? " she whispered as she leaned into his hand, thumbing desperately at his palm to try and find the answer out for herself. " are you really here? "

[tridaggers]

He shook his head, and bumped his forehead to hers, hesitating and getting only a mere inch or two from her lips, "You are awake, Kiki." He gave her a smile and nodded, his forehead not leaving hers, "I am. I can get closer if you want."

[firepassed]

in truth, as much as she loved the rest of vox machina, she didn’t mind the space, both as it might help vax, and because she always did well with the open breeze around her. her hand squeezed his and for a moment, letting him take the lead and following after. his words, though, brought a small blush to her cheeks and almost make her trip over her own feet. “ i can do that. ” the question is, though, what should she share? what would he be interested in? stories? a skill? a fact?

“ do you have specifics? i could tell you about my home. or a plant… or i could show you a spell?” fingers absent mindedly fiddled with his fingers as they walked. “ … i could make you a little something? ”

[tridaggers]

He looked at her as she gave suggestions for what she could teach him. Only the first of many things purposefully taught. She taught him so much more. He would have lived a lifetime and still not learned all she could teach. "Why not show me a spell that comes from where you do, Zephrah." He gave her a smile, he would like a little something, but, "You make me smile, that's a little something daily."

[tridaggers]

ooc: so some thoughts... whether or not vax is freed from his little orb prison (i think he will be, because vax is liam's baby and while he handed the reigns over to matt, like with caleb (i mean look at the merch drop last night for reference of how he just slipped into that german accent for the frumpkin plush) liam is not fully separated from vax. not to mention all that matt did with vax to help liam it just seems wrong to not give vax the ending he justly deserves. not to mention liam himself said he was off kilter the rest of the battle and the night after vax showed up. matt is not as forgiving of a dm as we think he is, but i think he knows vax is too important to liam to just throw away into an orb forever.

all this to say i will be likely changing canon events after c3 if and when the malleus key is destroyed.

[tridaggers]

ooc: what about ross butler for an fc for vax?

[tridaggers]

ooc: eternally trying to find an fc for vax and eternally failing to find one that meets my expectations.

[tridaggers]

ooc: hating my vax promo so sorry if you follow my other blogs saw my promo spam and were like... where's vax bas?

[tridaggers]

NON RP BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT

ooc: crying over keyleth and vax cause fuck me

[seeliecourtarchive]

" OH,   YOU   HAVE   NO   IDEA, " HE   SAID,   his   theatric   tone   returning, " First   thing   in   the   day,   a   man   marches   in,   and   decides   to   shout   at   me   and   my   staff   over   the   price   of   an   illusion   globe.   A   few   hours   later,   and   another   one   yells   at   our new clerk   to   the   point   of   tears   because   he   didn't have our catalog memorized. "

He   shook   his   head,   still   irritated   by   the   memory.   He   knew   what   it   was   like   to   be   an   overwhelmed   young   person,   and   customers   like   those   didn't   help. " That   customer   is   banned   now,   obviously,   and   I   gave   the   boy   the   rest   of   the   day   off.   What   about   you? "

[tridaggers]

He leaned in listening like a child would to a puppet show, or a bard telling a story about a dragon. Gilmore was animated, and made you feel no matter what he was saying, or story he was telling. "The only right choice," he nodded.

At the question he didn't have to think, "I spent the day with Scanlan. We talked alot, about things that happened long ago." He smiled with a sad type of happiness that was just a shade shy of bittersweet. "He saved alot of people with a decision, when he was trying to hold off and save me instead." He had no idea if Gilmore knew about the Wish Scanlan wanted to use for Vax, but counter-spelled Vecna instead, but he and his friend talked about that, among another thing that happened on his sister's wedding day. Most of it was about that final battle.

[seeliecourtarchive]

HE   DIDN'T   WANT   THE   ROGUE   TO   THINK   HE'D   OFFENDED   HIM.   Shaun   dropped   some   of   his   playful   tone   in   an   effort   to   sound   more   earnest.    " It's   a   very   good   line, "    he   said,   with   a   smile,    " Your   problem   isn't   your   charm,   it's   your   audience.   I've   been   running   up   and   down   the   shop   all   day,   and,   tragically,   I   don't   have   the   stamina   for   anything   too   devilish. "    He   looked   into   Vax's   eyes.   " But   I'm   glad   you're   here,   Vax'ildan.   I've   missed   spending   time   together   like   this. "   He   didn't   want   Vax   to   feel   rejected.   He   may   not   be   interested   in   sex   tonight,   but   he   was   always   interested   in   Vax.

[tridaggers]

Vax got the message, it wasn't a denial, but it was as close to one as he could get. He wasn't necessarily sure how to take it. But he also knew that he and Gilmore tended to dance all over the line of what their relationship was. "No devilish things then, just making sure you can be well rested then." Languidly being in his presence would work, he would make it work. "Have you? Then we will do this more often. Tell me about your day Gilmore."

[seeliecourtarchive]

HE   GAVE   A   SURPRISED   SMILE   AT   THE   MISCHIEF   IN   VAX'S   TONE.    " Ever   the   rogue, "    he   said,    " Nothing's   going   to   take   that   out   of   you. "    He   rubbed   the other's   back.    " I'll   have   you   as   long   as   you   want. "

He   was   worried   about   getting   his   hopes   up.   The   Raven   Queen   must   have   plans   to   call   Vax   back   at   some   point.   But   it   sounded   like   he   was   saying   he   had   a   lot   of   freedom.   Shaun   guided   the   half   elf   to   the   sofa,   tugging   gently   to   encourage   him   to   sit   beside   him.

" If   you   don't mind me asking,   what   are   the   limitations   of   these   visits? "    he   said,   " When   will   she   expect   you   back? "     A   stray   thought   entered   his   mind-   that   Vax   had   somehow   gotten   free   of   the   Raven   Queen   altogether.   But   it   was   too   happy   a   thought   to   give   any   credence   to it.

[tridaggers]

He gave a little shy smile, "No changes in the world, by divine or other means could alter my core, could alter who I love, and favor." He said with wisdom he had no had before. Vax always had a boyish anger, innocence, line of thought to him. The Matron changed that, but Vax's heart was not hers and it never would be. She could not have it no matter how much she tried to appeal to it.

"Visit," he corrected, not realizing that would imply it was a one time thing and he would have to go back. It was a one time thing. So he after a moment added, "She wont be. Not to what she had me doing. The Matron's cruelty was finally realized..." he said trailing off not giving much more detail than that, at least he wasn't forthcoming about it. It would have to be pulled from him as it went deeper than just the nature of a god and her champion.

[seeliecourtarchive]

SHAUN   WAS   IN   THE   MIDDLE   OF   TAKING   A   SIP   OF   WINE   AT   THE   FIRST   SENTENCE.   He   lifted   his   eyebrows when he heard it,   and   looked   at   Vax,   nodding.   He   felt   a   little   chill   as   the   rogue   pressed   closer.   Shaun   couldn’t   exactly   tell   what   he   meant   by   the   last   question,   and   it seemed like Vax couldn’t   either.

“ No   payment   necessary,   friend, ” he   said,   warmly, “ If   I   could,   I’d   feed   everyone. ” His   eyes   twinkled. “ Even   vulgar   half   elves   like   you.   Who   taught   you   to   talk   like   that? ” He   popped   a   slice   of   potato   into   his   own   mouth, chewing.

[tridaggers]

He looked at Gilmore, "You know my friends," he said trying to keep it cool because he had just been called vulgar and that was not the worst of what he could have said. He could have said worse, enough to make Scanlan proud of him even. But he also was trying to be serious, he wanted to come across genuine so he couldn't really do that, right. He had some semblance of charm. "Did it work?" he asked.

[seeliecourtarchive]

HE   SUNK   INTO   HIM.   Vax   felt   so   distant,   like   he   was   a   flickering   candle   at   the   end   of   a   long,   dark   tunnel.   Now   that   his   face   was   hidden   in   Vax's   shoulder,   Shaun   allowed   it   to   crumple.   Damn   the   Raven   Queen.   She   couldn't   even   allow   him   to   rest.   She   was   just   chipping   and   chipping   away   at   him.   Shaun   feared   that   one   day,   a   gust   of   wind   would   blow   that   candle   out,   and   all   that'd   remain   was   empty   stone.

He   had   to   be   brave.   To   be   comforting.   To   be   Gilmore.   Vax   needed   solace,   not   him.   Shaun   reached   up,   and   cupped   the   back   of   Vax's   head.   He   was   going   to   keep   hugging   him   until   the   rogue   gave   a   sign   he   was   ready   to   let   part.

" The   night is   yours,   Vax'ildan, " he   said,   quietly, " What   would   you   like   to   do? "

[tridaggers]

Gilmore's embrace was fulfilling. It was like the emptiness that he had was suddenly filling up. It was like feeling alive wasn't so much a chore, but an ease and enjoyment because Gilmore's presence made Vax feel the tenseness walk away. Gilmore in Vax's, and many other's, humble opinion was very powerful. There was no doubt about that. But if you asked Vax, Gilmore's real power was being able to fill you up and make you feel like you could have never lived without him. It made leaving hard, and Vax was selfish and didn't want to think about how that likely affected the man before him as well. "I cannot do all I want in a night, but I have a long lifetime to do those things. I want your company, Gilmore. I want you." He paused and took a breath as if he was just taking in Gilmore's essence and not actually breathing in air. "Will you have me for more than a night, we have much time to make up." He said with a wry smile that showed a hint of that dastardly half elf was still there.

[findablog]

I am posting this here to perhaps reach my mutes. I will reblog on all relative blogs. But I had to restart my computer and promptly lost all my drafts in the process (cause i keep tabs open i know bad practice) so i lost alot of drafts.

Unless you message me about those drafts I think I am just going to drop them.

Blogs this affects: @imtheircleric , @andodge , @thewidogast , @tridaggers

I am so so sorry. If we have threads that you want to keep please let me know. This also only affects threads I haven't replied to.

[soulprompts]

“𝙏𝙊 𝘽𝙀 𝙈𝙄𝙎𝙎𝙀𝘿” 𝙋𝙍𝙊𝙈𝙋𝙏𝙎.

basically i was rewatching a load of shows while i was sick for the last two weeks, and it just dawned on me how beautiful a notion it is to miss someone, or miss something? so before i go headfirst into the emotional motivation behind these prompts, i’ll post them, and hope you’re all having a fantastic week, and that you enjoy these prompts as much as i enjoyed writing them!

“ i miss you. “

“ i’ve missed you. “

“ i’ll miss you. “

“ you’re coming back, right? “

“ when will i see you again? “

“ please don’t go… “

“ i could go with you! “

“ when will you be back? “

“ you know you can’t come with me… “

“ i didn’t wanna leave without saying goodbye. “

“ i hate goodbyes… “

“ i’ll always find my way back to you. “

“ hey… no tears, alright? this isn’t goodbye. “

“ don’t leave me. “

“ i’ll see you soon, okay? i promise. “

“ this isn’t goodbye, you know. “

“ this isn’t goodbye. this is… until we meet again. “

“ i have to go now… “

“ were you really about to leave without saying goodbye? “

“ i don’t think i’ve ever missed anyone, or anything, the way that i miss you right now. “

“ hey, where’d you go? i was starting to miss you! “

“ why? do you miss me? “

“ stay with me… “

“ you know that i can’t stay here… “

“ what will i do without you? “

“ look outside your window… you see the sky? good. so do i. because we’re looking at the exact same sky right now, okay? so no matter where we are, or how far apart we are… we’ll always be underneath the same sky. so we’re not that far apart at all. “

“ i’m gonna miss you, you know. “

“ i didn’t expect myself to miss you as much as i do/did. “

“ i wish you were here. or i was there. just… i wish we were back together again. “

“ what’s it like over there? “

“ i couldn’t leave without seeing you again. “

“ if… if this is the last time i’ll ever see you, i need you to know… i have loved, and will never stop loving, you. you hear me? i love you. beyond whatever happens next. i love you. “

“ no matter where you are, where you go, where they take you… i will always find my way back to you. i promise. “

“ stop! stop lying! you left, and you’ve taken a part of me with you, so i want to know! i want… i deserve an answer. i deserve the truth! where are you? and why did you have to go there? “

“ i’ll hold you in my heart, until i can hold you in my arms. “

“ in case you ever foolishly forget; i am never not thinking of you. “

“ my heart never knew loneliness until you went away. i am missing you. “

and a few ACTION PROMPTS !

[ HUG ]:     sender, upon reuniting with the receiver after being apart for a lengthy duration of time, rushes over to them and pulls them into a tight, desperate, emotional embrace.

[ KISS ]:     sender, having just reunited with the receiver after being apart for a lengthy duration of time, catches them and pulls them in for a passionate, long-awaited kiss that tells all the things they’ve been bottling up in their absence.

[ FOREHEAD ]:     before parting ways, sender rests their forehead against the receiver’s, a possible final touch as they go their separate ways.

[ BURY ]:     before parting ways, sender pulls the receiver in for what they privately believe to be their final hug, giving them an embrace filled with heartache, desperation, and unspoken apologies.

[ GRAVE ]:     after going their separate ways, the receiver learns that the sender has died. upon travelling to their graveside, how do they respond to this tragedy?

[ COLLECT ]:      sender arrives at the airport/docks/other location to collect the receiver after being apart for a considerable length of time.

[ INTERVENE ]:     sender surprises the departing receiver by intervening before they leave, in the hopes of changing their mind.

[ REUNITE ]:     sender and receiver reunite after being apart for a long length of time.

[tridaggers]

Ooc: the next headcanon I post is a very hot take on vex and vax’s relationship so I think I’m gonna put it under a read more