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@trigreed-blog
…So it was the four’a us, greater than zero weed, a fuckin’ party sized pizza, and no parents. My brother didn’t give a shit, he kinda let me jus’ do whatever, so I guess what m’trynna say s’that I had a fuckin’ dope time, dude.
drewxllen:
Baby shower was a success, then? I’ve gotta say, I was so happy when I heard the news. I always knew you’d be a hella cool dad. You’ll break barriers on that gender shit and take being a soccer mom to the next level.
@trisdoesntread: Why is it august already @god do something
@trisdoesntread: @taylorswift13 sit down
As if I don’t already know the answer. I can see it in your eyes - my booty’s definitely big enough. No need to be afraid.
Fine, okay. Okay, fine. I just—I don’t know how this can work. I’m scared. I’ve never... I dunno, with the baby and all...
I’m sorry what?
Ya heard me, Cady. Can’t resist this charm.
What? No! Why do people think he can’t sing? His voice is so lovely and silvery and light, and have you even heard him in No Control? He makes that song. Not to mention at the end of Something Great. He’s amazing, and so much more talented than people think.
Yeah, exactly—only silvery cause he knows he ain’t up for gold. No Control? Think I’ll control myself and get a pass on that one. I feel like you purposely ignored the whole chicken nugget thing, so I’m gonna bring it up again: you’re in love with a chicken nugget thrower.
“Wait, na na na na na. I refuse to believe I’m the only chick in this school w’ a daddy kink. What about the cello chick? The fangirl? The lacrosse guy? Not me, nuh-uh.”
“Unless they’re all lying to me—now that I think ‘bout it, Rickey and Ivy seem like they’d into some freaky shit, so hold off on that now. Cello chick? Oh, her—uh, not gonna lie, m’feelin’ a hella weird vibe from her, but I’m not sure yet. Yo, true. Twitter’s all about the daddy kink, bet she’s hiding something from us. Romeo’s got a Drew kink, let’s be real.”
Nice slide-in.
S’what I do. All day, all night. Until I met you, of course. Gotta stay loyal.
Oh, sorry, I didn’t know we were going back to 8th grade with the H-M-U’s and ‘wid it’s’. If anyone actually agreed to this proposal, then I think they’re too young for you, bro.
We weren’t—this is 11th grade shit right here. Almost 12th, but that’s include like, at least one L-O-L. Your mom agreed to it, so quiet lyin’, Mufasa.
Is my booty big enough? Or do I have to take a test? I hate tests.
That’s for me to know and you to find out.
I got a hair cut.
Lookin’ good.
“I’ll be back at 11, you just act like a peasant. Got a bow on my panties because my ass is a present.” she joked.
Normally she would have pulled something better than Nicki Minaj, but off the top of her head, she couldn’t think of anything better. So she was rolling with it.
“You know, if you’re gonna pretend you got what it takes to quote my savior and god Nicki Minaj, you’re gonna have to show me what you’re twerking with.”
Keep looking at me like that and I’ll be convinced it’s love at first sight.
Yeah —- hi.
You’re lucky this is in person, otherwise I would’ve thrown my laptop out the window. Anyway, I’m Winter, seventeen, and not about to rhyme to impress. I’ll let my dance moves do the talking.
Rude, I’m swaggy as hell. Pretty people don’t need to rhyme to impress, so I guess you’re off the hook there. I think I just found my people—I’m turning 17 soon, which you know, is the age of the dancing queen, so I might not be too impressed, just a warning, but you can give it a shot.
“Boy, stop fucking w’ it and fuck me instead, my rhymes are so poisonous they be like tasting lead. Move your ass over, J-Lo ain’t got shit on me; I’ll let you swipe right if you let me call you Papi.”
“Mom, please, you’re embarrassing me. Yo rhymes be so poisonous I think I might be dead. Your ass might be fine and I won’t lie, it’s hella fine, but I’m pretty sure this is the part where you go psych I’m also hella gay. Oh my god, I’ve found it. I’ve found the girl with the daddy kink in this school, I knew we had to have one. Eff yeah.”
What? No, it’s not Zayn. It’s Louis! Christmas birthday? Has the best solos? Wrote No Control?
I was going to say something else, but I feel like we should get this cleared up first: isn’t he the one that literally can’t sing? Throws chicken nuggets at people or something?
I know you’re upset that you don’t fit those requirements, but you can’t be bitter about this forever. You can move on, I believe in you.
