Thomas told me that if I had better friends I wouldn't want 'to ostrich' (my words there, not his) and/or run away i.e. escape... as in... well, let's not be hypocritical and type here on FB the things that we block people for typing on fb... catch my drift?Â
I wonder if he's right about that - I mean, it's definitely a part, but as I've even explained to you- personally speaking... with him, I am SURE (after only knowing me a month or so) that he doesn't know the struggle; the will power, the failed attempts with Rx (Juliet comes to mind) but the vigilance and valiant attempts thereafter. I would tally kratom up along with the honest attempts, tries and successes, but the entire month of July was an exercise in weaning/cold turkey for me. This is all about moi, I can not (nor will I speak for anyone else here) THAT being said, I will mention Luciano/Lucifer only as a temptation (like that open hand-out in mid-December...) and a mark on the negatory (sadly, now, time has told, along with SP, and JMG) PS - I'm not stupid, so I know this post must be partly (though I hope not entirely) about me, and for that I apologize darling. Sincerely. I had good intentions. I have been making big strides. I was proud for EVEN getting out to Susan's the night before (recall last fall?? or was it Spring? When I threw my favorite hat away?) no to mention staying for the entirety of the band, and even posing with Mister Slithers for Photoroka.Â
Can you find it, btw? I looked, and sometimes I'm bad at finding things on FB, and sometimes Feline takes months to upload the contents of her memory card so I dunno. I tried phoning her, I wanted to hint around "Melanie" without actually asking her if she was "MELONY FROM MI" lmfao. Anyway, back to your post, and what this comment is meant to be addressing: Last night. Sweets, some things are unavoidable - and while I am not one to speak, because as we ALL know I have spent months, fuck it, probably closer to years, hiding out in my bedroom here throwing a Ben & Jerry's pity party for myself. When I finished that coconut water (thank-you SO much for that, was not being petty, I just needed it at the time)Â
I contemplated spending ANOTHER six bucks on another pint of Half Baked-- let's not ever let us pretend I know not the Avenue of self-medicating with food. I think this is why Thomas always says over and and over and over again "I don't have a sweet tooth" Despite me telling him it grates like nails on a chalkboard, and also that it's not true as he bakes, eats pies and ice creams, and has enjoyed jellies, cookies and chocolates in my presence. I think it's just another way for this 'split personality type' to condescend and separate themselves in a way to hoist themselves up higher and feel better about themselves while surrounded by their own misgivings and untidy misfortunes - when I showed him the band photo of you and I (that I am STILL so proud of- the one of us in reds, taken by JMG)Â
I was beaming and he cut me down like a machete to a weed by asking me "What is your fascination with fat women?!" Still, both our quirks aside, It was overall a good dinner and a good day, (your mother presented herself and behaved like a Saint, I even only heard her repeat herself twice the whole evening) but I'm not a mind reader and none of us could have predicted (let alone, the poor, unsuspecting, eternally innocent Baby-Dawg) the 3rd floor door swinging open followed by a barrage of yells, epithets, demands and stinky breath. It was just an awful end to a beautiful day i.m.o. and I think you and I, together, moving forward can prevent something like that from ever happening again. Agree? (Feel free to delete this comment if you wish, I already posted it to my tumblr)
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