it scares me sometimes. the emptiness i see in my eyes.

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@tripppystars
it scares me sometimes. the emptiness i see in my eyes.
The second hand embarrassment i get while scrolling my page is insane. Can't even summon a single inch of bravery to read any of this 😭🙏
How is this 'mature content'?? Which imbecile reported this innocentass post 🙄
At least I know that I must always do the opposite of what my parents preach, not because I'm some rebel. But because everytime I have ever listened to them, ny life has turned to shit 🤡 and everytime I did what i actually think is right, it has always worked out well. Lemme just fucking learn from history once in my life
I hate it when my mom always makes me feel like killing myself. And always makes me regret for being nice to her. She deserves to fucking die. Idk htf I always keep forgetting that her brain can never feel love or empathy or sympathy or guilt. She is a disgusting bitch and i hope that she kills herself. And im so so soooo fucking stupid for even feeling bad for her and forgetting everything she has ever done to me, just when she shows me ANY TiNY bit of affection. Idk how tf can my dad ask me that it's my responsibility when my mom had the audacity to lock me out of the house for a week when I was like 5??? And he was out in USA enjoying some trip all alone while I was out in the streets wandering all alone 🤡🤡🤡.
And I can't even bring up any problems EVER in front of him. He just fucking calls me a liar piece of shit. Because OF THEM, LITERALLY everyone I ever meet treats me like shit too because everytime I ever tried speaking up they would shit me down so bad by screaming the fuck out like my mom literally screams like she is some possessed ass motherfuccker.literrally even just bringing up ANYTHING like how my day went MEANS ILL BE get my eardrums raped 🤡🤡
Now that I grow up more I realise my mom maybe isn't that bad and infact the unfortunate circumstances turned her into one. I could be possibly letting myself isolte a few pungent encounters and stirring into a whole stew of hallucinations. But idk why my dad always think I'm lying???? I recall being a kid and i was burning down with fever but i still kept forcing myself to go to school until I just couldn't so i obviously told my dad. And his first reaction was you are fucking lying. Untill I checked my fever myself and he could finally believe. Though obviously he did pay the hefty doctor bills and made sure I took my pills at time and i must admit he isn't a terrible dad whatsover but every tiny impression does tend to leave a stain. Even when his 'beloved' relatives pick me apart with tweezers stripping any left dignity away and degrade tf Outta me in front of everyone, he just laughs it away and even participates. But he won't even let me dare to put their name in my mouth because how dare i. And no matter how much it hurts to admit but eventually the daughter is probably bound to suffer the same fate as her mother.
Watching people attempt to manipulate me is genuinely amusing, considering I spent my entire life surviving a clinically diagnosed narcissistic, BPD mother and an emotionally absent father who silently watched the abuse, then turned it on me and called it my responsibility. Guess scapegoating me was just easier 😍
I literally hate how my parents act like I'm a mental patient if I stay home. And if I go out they start acting like I'm a fucking slut or some shit. Like 🤡🤡
I really really wish someone gifted me a vibrator 🥹👉👈
ME PHYSICALLY: *bleeding heavily losing litres of blood over my already existing iron deficiency*:
MY BRAIN: "I want dick I want dick fivkd dick fivkn divcknfivknbdivk dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick dick inside of me pounding "
No longer stable
Can't believe been five years since this post
I wanna be his and only his slut 🥹👉👈
Me when my coochie itches at some random coordinates inches deep 😭😭😭
My bladder might burst at this point😭 but i- won't never not stop
why do u hate porn
Because I don't love it so i hate it mr.anonymous
LIKE how am I simultaneously an extreme cynical nihilist AND concurrently viewing the world through rose tinted glasses!? LIKE OMG PICK A SIDE BRAIN
I HATE THAT IM STUCK IN THSI VICIOUS CYCLE OF NEVERENDING MISERY LOOP FEEDING INTO ITSELF