I feel so disconnected from everyone and everything. How am I supposed to be happy in a place I so clearly don't belong
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@trixandstix
I feel so disconnected from everyone and everything. How am I supposed to be happy in a place I so clearly don't belong
angelina jolie girl, interrupted thinspo <3
i have been OBSESSED with girl, interrupted lately and not only is angelina jolieâs portrayal of lisa amazing, sheâs also been great thinspo during my depression slump. her body in this movie is to die for, i swear. i hope i get as skinny as her, one day. stay safe, everyone :)
it honestly gets annoying how much i compare myself to literally EVERY person i see, like
am i skinnier than them?? how fucked up is that
every time i eat, it feels like a binge
sorry Iâm late, i have body dysmorphia and there was a mirror
For all my new followers: Some not-so-cute things about anorexia.
I want yâall to see the reality of this disorder.
EDIT: this is meant for those who are actively seeking out an eating disorder, or are romanticizing the illness, like ânew anas.â this isnât meant to cure anyone from anorexia.
1. being cold. all. the. time. you have to sleep with at least two blankets.
2. lanugo. think itâs cute to have thick hair ALL over your body??
3. that cute ass you had? itâs gone.
4. crying all the time
5. shaky hands, shaky arms, shaky legs, shaky everything.
6. you disappoint basically everyone important to you
7. itâs not cute to get smashed after one drink. itâs embarrassing.
8. forgetting everything. why did i walk into this room? where did i put my phone? why did i put my deodorant on the kitchen counter?
9. chewing food literally feels like youâre eating a live slug.
10. all those friends you love? youâll basically never see them because youâre too afraid that theyâll suggest going out for lunch or try to give you food.
11. goal weights? not a thing. no matter how low your weight is, youâll never be satisfied
12. this disorder literally kills you slowly, from the inside out
13. you have to sleep with a thick blanket or pillow between your knees because the feeling of your bones pressing against each other is too painful
14. your whole life feels like itâs a haze
15. concentration goes out the window. your grades will go down, you might even fail a class because for some fucking reason not eating is more important than getting a degree. think about that.
16. treatment is inevitable if you donât get it under control yourself. and treatment is the worst experience you could possibly have â people FORCING you to eat, lots of crying, and its fucking expensive
17. you are so wasteful. all that healthy food you bought? youâll eventually get to a point where you canât even eat that and it just rots in your fridge.
18. it gets to a point where you care more about the number on the scale than your own fucking family
19. all your free time will be spent running. or walking. or working out. anything to burn off the calories you did (or didnât) eat
20. eventually 50 calories is too much for one day
21. at a certain point, a size 0 is too big and all clothes look ill-fitting, not cute and baggy.
22. YOU ARE NOT IN CONTROL. no matter how much you think you are, youâre not. youâre a slave to your own brain.
23. YOU ARE A LIAR. you lie to your family, to your therapist, to your friends, and thereâs no undoing that. once people know youâre lying, theyâll never believe you again.
24. this disorder does not make you special. it makes you sick. and it makes you look selfish and weak to other people. thatâs the reality.
25. get help.
this is the reality of this disorder. itâs not cute. itâs not fun. itâs addicting. and it ruins your life. thatâs it. itâs an illness and you have to see it for what it is.
ana tip #1
but what about cleaning??
CLEAN
it burns so many calories and it gives you a good alibi.
đclean some windows (your arms will die)
đscrub the shower or bathtub
đmob the floors
đdust your book shelves
đput on some new sheets
đvaccum the shit out of your carpet
đclean the microwave
đclean your oven
YOU WILL THANK YOURSELF LATER
IT MAKES YOU FEEL SO GOOD, CLEAN AND PRODUCTIVE
Is anyone else REALLY struggling with their ED during this pandemic? Weâre being told to stay home, I have no uni, no work, nothing, so Iâm constantly home which makes it so so hard to not eat... my family are always round me. I know a lot of people are going through this, so please letâs all come together and support each other, because this is an extremely hard time for people with mental health issues and eating disorderd...
Iâm always ALWAYS ready to talk to anyone who wants to talk, or needs a friend whilst going through this...
The fact that I can't go more than a day without getting high is bullshit. The fact that I have to avoid being sober to stand myself is bullshit. The fact that I get munchies so fucking bad when I'm high is such fucking bullshit. I binge, hate myself and then because I hate myself I get high some more and it's a neverending cycle of complete and utter bullshit.
2020 will be
a year of consistency
of habits
of routine
and most importantly
results!
it will happen.
Things I wish I got, but never have felt:
Hugs from my parents. Cheek kisses from my parents. Them telling me they love me no matter what. Them being proud of me. Listening to my feelings without judgement. Getting me a therapist. Supporting me. Finding me a support system. Reaching out to me, when I am clearly in pain.
I need to get out of this house before I fucking off myself
i dont feel anything. i dont feel sadness or pain, or happiness or calm. i am so far beyond numb, i cant remember what emotions are anymore.
Can't believe food is everywhere. How fucking disrespectful
It's the last month of 2019 so I'm gonna say it: what the fuck was that