Closure
38. Lover. Gentlemen. Dreamer, still.
This is my tumbler farewell.
Leave this here, after 3 years, a time capsule of sorts. I have nothing but fond memories, which is of course, the problem. Connecting with my lady sexually & emotionally. This has really been wonderful.
Closure
Closure? I don't know how to achieve it without CRUSHING all the flowers: I had a dream that I was going through a dark tunnel, I couldn't move, barely breathe, and there were bugs all over, heart racing, crippling fear. When I came out though, I was suddenly in a vast field of beautiful flowers, and I drank it in! Running, jumping, FINALLY happy! ...Until
Until I turned around and saw that I had destroyed everything in my wake. As I slowly turned, my blue skies turned to grey, and mountain grew as if weeds, choking out the stars. I was alone. And any action taken only spelled further destruction for whatever remained of my once-beautiful infinite plain.
Closure? I don't know how to achieve it without CRUSHING all the flowers.
So I cut out my eyes, cut out my tongue, and cut out my heart. I moved forward in silence, but there was a sort of peace that came from just not knowing.
It's with that hope in mind, that I decided that if I can't get closure, I can at least get peace. I can shut down the portals, reply with empty casual comments, and leave hope to dissipate into the ether. But what do I do with this love? What do I do with this desire? What do I do...
When action is the enemy, and inaction provides no sustenance, what do I do?
