alive out of spite

You can call me Silas, virgo sun cancer moon, 27, sweden

[boneless-pacified-deactivated20]

[thethirdromana]

The worst types of cookbook:

The Ottolenghi - it is vital that you use 1g of this very expensive ingredient. It comes from a 500g bag with a one-week shelf life.

The time machine - 15-minute recipe! First, leave to marinate overnight...

The dishwasher - one-pot recipe! Now decant your ingredients and wipe out your pot. And again. And again. And again.

The optimist - cook the onions until caramelised (2 minutes).

The kindergarten teacher - get one nommable little tree of broccoli and bosh that into boiling water. Delish!

The brand names only - ingredients: Ritz crackers, Philadelphia cheese, Cool Whip, orange Jell-o...

The 1950s palate - use one (1) clove of garlic and a small pinch of chili flakes (omit if preferred).

The why bother with a cookbook - to make beans on toast, gently heat a tin of beans and put on top of freshly buttered toast.

[meff25]

🤲🤲🤲🤲

Something between a tango and a direct threat to the Penitent One

🎵The Phantom of The Opera - The Point of No Return

[turtle-brownie]

blowing him up with my mind

[pink-noah]

ʜɪꜱ ᴘʀᴇᴄɪᴏᴜꜱ ᴍᴏᴏ ᴍᴏᴏꜱ

[sillyrabbot]

Dammit i thought it was saturday forever

[kurogoesinthedas]

smile, and sing, and dance, darling. It's all you're good for.

[1gmoney]

People ask me how things are going lately n I don’t even know what to tell them. I’m just here

[yokowan]

okay I'll bite

[yokowan]

hawm

[tabloidsores]

You come across a BABBLING BROOK. It's features are DYNAMIC (2), NATURE (4), REPOSE (5). The season is for WAR, and your mood is WISTFUL.

> Check sabertache

Your sabtertache is BULGING with goods (10/12):

- PONDEROUS clay tablet (x1)

- Photo of human lass (x5)

- Blueberries (x3)

- Letter opener [1d3/->3] (x1)

>Eat blueberry

You eat the blueberry. It is CHEWY and SOUR. Your mood is now SATIATED.

The blueberries remind you of DUZYN-DÜRG!

The blueberries remind you of FAIR LUCRETIA!

Your mood has become MOROSE. The season is for DEATH.

> Hide

I do not recognize that command.

> Retreat

You must designate something for your elf to reatreat from.

> Retreat from world

Do you wish to MEDITATE or BROOD?

> Brood

On what?

> Wife

You brood for 68(crit!) years on the IMPERMANANCE of WIFE.

3 kings have passed and Mankind remains FICKLE. Your mood has become INQUISITIVE. The season is for HARVEST.

[bubbsart]

pov: you just asked the lieutenant what's an updog

[choodraws]

🐎

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[choodraws]

chaos reigns (modeled after that one saint livier etching by jacques callot)

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[ii-tenshi]

bayu-bayushki-bayu….

[the-merry-otter]

The best thing about having a partner who also does medieval reenactment is that you can text them like “do you want a sexy leg pic 😏” and when they obviously go “of course 👀” you send them a close up of a really nice piece of leg armour. And then they aren’t even mad and go “yeah that is sexy as hell, thank you.”

[the-merry-otter]

It would, of course, be remiss of me to not include examples of these sexy leg pics. Try this one simple trick to find out if your partner is someone with taste!

(If anyone does do this to their partner, I’d love to know the results)

[ntrider]

is there any trait less attractive than a lack of curiosity

[redstonedust]

sad part about sex being a taboo topic is that sometimes really funny things happen during sex or related to sex or at weird sex clubs and you cant tell the story to like 90% of people in your life because of the sex context. the contsext. do you ever wonder how many people have funny sex stories theyre just sitting on. its tragic.

[storyweavingspider]

Same for kink regardless of if there was sex involved tbh. Basically the only times I get to talk about things like “harmonica impact play” or “falling down a mountain during a sub hunt”, etc. is on the internet, in kink clubs, or with other trans girls regardless of how objectively hilarious any individual event was.

[miscling]

was literally having this conversation yesterday about how socially acceptable topics are always just the most inane and boring shit, like one of the guys in the group is in the process of building a padded cell for asylum play and management have decreed that he's not allowed to talk about this thing that brings him joy because it's taboo; it's tragic, and it minimises us as people