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EXPECTATIONS
YOU ARE THE REASON
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Photo by Val Vesa
Photo by Zachary Staines
I get it now.
by 8og
via weheartit
AGATHA ALL ALONG 1.08 - Follow Me My Friend / To Glory At The End
I wish the first time I fell in love hadn’t been the shit hot unrequited mess that it was.
It’s left me questioning everything - what I want, what I need, what I can handle.
I want difficult. Easy bores me. Straight forward turns me off. I need a challenge. I need someone that’s a puzzle, that has layers and passions that you can’t immediately see. I basically want to fall in love with the intensity of a Lana del Rey song. All over again.
But at the same time I need someone that lets me get on with my life. Who just lets me do my thing on my own.
So maybe I should just be alone after all? Maybe that’s what I want?
What I really want right now is to feel something again. I want the magic you experience with every single sense in your body.
To my past self,
You will learn that she was also in love with you.
That she misses you every day.
She didn't have the words to explain.
Neither did you.
There was shame on both sides. Fear. Disgust at ourselves.
You were more than a friend to her, too.
This is the gift she gives you, five or six years later. You do get to love again, with this ferocity, passion and intensity.
You were not crazy. You were not mad. You were perfect exactly as you were.
This time though, you value yourself. You know yourself.
You will never make the same mistakes again.
You are healed.
Which means that it's time to this again, do it right, do it even better.
The final gift she gave you is this.
The book is finally closed.
by Alex Berger
blue sky and white clouds in ili by 刘知著