Just read you “don't punish, ever“. So does that mean, you don't spank your sub?
I am NOT a sadist. I am a dominant and MY way of dominating my submissive requires neither pain nor punishment.
Apart from the fact that I find spanking incredibly boring to start with, it’s just something I have moved on from a very long time ago. Once upon a time I thought I had to follow a rule book of what “proper” dominants do and don’t. However, I have stopped seeking validation for my actions.
After having left all of the corporeal punishment malarkey behind, I discovered MY world.
REGARDING PUNISHMENT:Let’s be honest, what would I be punishing my submissive for?
1) DISOBEDIENCE? In that case I would much rather be worried about why he would not comply to my request (request, not order, see the difference ?). Can’t be bothered with what I want? Then I clearly am not for him and he is not for me and we are wasting our time.
2) INABILITY? If whatever I wanted him to do proved to be impossible for him but he gave it his best effort, I don’t see how punishment would help the situation.
3) because he craves punishment and tries to top me from the bottom into giving it to him?Not my kind of sub, go away.
I want my submissive to be the best version of himself and I doubt punishment will get him there. Guidance and encouragement will help shape him to my ideal and to a point where I don’t need to make my requests anymore because he will read them from my eyes or anticipate.
To adapt a quote by Swedish author Astrid Lindgren: “There is very little you can beat into a person but no limit to what you can hug out of them.”
All of the above doesn’t mean that there is no element of physical pain when being involved with me.But it serves not the purpose of punishment.
My causing him pain comes from a place of deep intimacy. I bite (hard!!!), I pinch, I scratch.
It is most likely to happen when I am with him and the only place I want to be is “closer”.
When I literally want to be under his skin, inside of him, fully take over. It is then that I struggle to control myself, that my most primal self takes charge and the only way to appease this beast is with his moans and cries and sobs. Knowing he’s indulging me, enduring this just for me is such a turn on (similar to why chastity is my thing).He might wear marks for days.Whew, I get all worked up just typing this out.
Oh, and on the rare occasion I do use a riding crop it’s for sensual play that might involve some bruising for the only reason that it’s what I fancied in that moment.
Am I a proper Dominant? Who cares 😘
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