I’m losing her.
But she doesn’t know it right now, as wisps of dark hair spread across a pillow. I watch her eyes as they flutter closed, flecks of mascara sprinkled across the ball of her cheek, and I smile a sad smile. I’ve never liked nostalgia. But I’ve always loved her. It took a week to learn, and three months to say. The confession stole from my lips like thunder, crashing sharply against her skin. “Tell me again,” she begged, so I did. For a year on end, I said it every day, hope lingering behind those three syllables like a present.
I’m losing her.
She sighs softly, but it echoes through the quiet. Her hands grip the sheets - she always insists on washing them weekly - and I cringe. I never used to wash my sheets. I was lazy, a would-be frat boy in a near empty house, refusing to use dishes just so I wouldn’t have to clean. But that was four years ago, before the curve of her frame melded against my mattress, before she ever became permanent. I was used to the clean sheets now. I was used to this bed frame, those night stands, that girl.
I’m losing her.
And I want to tell her as she turns, shoulder blade digging harshly into the pillow. I want to tell her as she struggles to sleep, the secrets she hides from the world forcing her awake. I want so badly to snake my arm around her waist and warm her skin with my breath, the way I used to. “I love you.” I could whisper. “Say it again,” she might beg, longing beneath her tongue. But it wouldn’t matter. We’re too far gone. She’s pulling away, leaving me with stale memories, and I swallow back my protests. She doesn’t look to me for comfort anymore, after the day was too long and the fragile infrastructure of her heart couldn’t stand it. She doesn’t bury herself beneath the covers and cry, clinging to my skin hopefully. And I know that it’s my fault as we sit in jilted silence, both of us hanging onto the words we could never say. I know that she’s heartbroken. I know that I am too.
I’m losing her.
Hesitantly, I lift a hand. My fingers brush along her skin, but this time it’s different. She tenses at my touch. I sweep toward her palm. She freezes. I squeeze. She holds her breath. I’m losing her. My body eases closer, but she stays rigid, cold. “I love you,” I whisper.
“Is everything okay?” She asks, but doesn’t move.
I’m losing her.
“Yes.”
And I turn away, her warmth lingering against my palm as I do. I blink at the walls, bite back hurt. I wonder if she can hear the crack in my chest as it vibrates through the room. I wonder if she knows how sorry I am. I want to tell her that I would take it all back if I could, make it different. I want to be those people we were the first year, before I was lazy, before she was indifferent.
But I don’t.
“Love conquers all.” I say out loud, gaze robbing the words off a poster on the ceiling.
“Not always,” she admits, and her words are so soft that I can barely hear them.
“Sometimes life does.”
I lost her.
♡ . ˚ ◝ virginia gardner , twenty six , cis female , she / her ↷ in level five, apartment 603 you’ll find SIERRA D’ALTON listening to my silver lining by first aid kit. they have been living in wisteria apartments as a NEWS REPORTER for FOUR years. during that time they have earned the reputation of the EFFERVESCENT. it makes sense you know, they can be ALTRUISTIC + PIQUANT but let’s not forget they’re pretty INQUISITIVE + UNINHIBITED. birds chirping at the break of dawn, methodically labelled vhs home videos, a lipstick stained coffee mug. × ( @wisteriahub )
dominant or submissive?: both, depending on the situation
emotional, logical or both: both
book smart or street smart: book smart
introvert or extrovert: extrovert
optimist or pessimist: optimist
spontaneous or structured: spontaneous
instinctual or logical: instinctual
expensive or inexpensive: inexpensive
generous or stingy: generous
polite or rude: polite
day or night: day
( &&. background )
hailing from texas!! this idiot is the most rootin tootin basic white girl ( with a heart of gold ) u will ever come across
was most definitely the “““horse girl””” growing up in school asdfjkgh
lived on a ranch with her parents and half sister so ya girl was livin the dream
she was ( and kind of still is ) a very outdoorsy girl; loved fishing, hunting (with her dad), camping, mudding/fourwheeling, helping out with outdoor chores n shit at home
howeVER she also really loved writing. not so much in an artsy sense like poetry but essays???? she was a Freak for those in school which is the passion she followed through with when accepting a scholarship to ulca to study journalism and mass communications wooP
she lived on campus while attending school, always returning home to texas during long breaks, but eventually she ended up moving to california permanently bc an internship at one of the news stations developed into a full fledged career for THIS girl
sierra loves her job v much. all the ppl she gets to meet, the places she gets to travel, the juicy stories she gets to investigate / report
naturally a super curious person so sorry if she gets in ur business ..... she can’t help it
she loves loves LOVES animals like if she didn’t go into journalism ur damn heckin right she would have studied her ass off to become a veterinarian or work at a zoo or something
also loves ppl a lot and is a huge Empath like.... if u cry bc one of ur fav characters on a show died, this bitch would be on the verge of tears right alongside u without any actual knowledge of the show dsfihugkj
( &&. wanted conns )
some people she met while attending ulca?? could be friends, enemies, exes, etc
fellow reporters / journalists, maybe a radio personality/host she affiliates with when it comes to the news/stories/whatever idK
homegirl needs a ride or die. somebody to watch sappy ass movies with her, drink a bottle or two of wine with after a rough day, go for jogs together during the wee hours of the morning, drag to parties/events that she’d rather die than go alone to. a Real bff.
maybe some regular sources she hits up to get the SUPER juicy gossip from before any other news station can ( could be good friends, or maybe she bribes/pays them for reliable info )
ex girlfriend/boyfriend she had a whirlwind romance with but for whatever reason??? didn’t work out and she’s still a little sad about it sometimes aka give me angst
someone she hooked up with to get over said ex girlfriend/boyfriend ( whether they knew they were a rebound or not )
A ROOMMATE or 2 ? ( could tie into her ride or die )
a pen pal would be pretty cute
also a bad influence to get her OUT of her comfort zone like take her to dive bars / sketchy clubs, get her drunk, let her do stupid shit safely
but vice versa maybe someone she’s a good influence on??? tries to help steer them onto a better path / get their future planned out / help them out in anyway she can
uhhhhhh literally anything !! i’m open to it all come plot pls
♡ . ˚ ◝ ryan guzman , thirty three , cis male , he / him ↷ in level two, apartment 307 you’ll find LEON AGUILAR listening to kids by onerepublic. they have been living in wisteria apartments as a MARINE ENGINEER for SEVEN years. during that time they have earned the reputation of the GLOBETROTTER. it makes sense you know, they can be VENTURESOME + TRUEHEARTED but let’s not forget they’re pretty RESTIVE + FACETIOUS. boyish charm amplified by a roguish smirk, salty ocean air clinging to work jumpsuits, rosary hanging from a rearview mirror. × ( @wisteriahub )
( &&. general )
full name: leon aguilar
nicknames: lee
current age: thirty three
preferred pronouns: he/him
gender identity: cis male
orientation: heterosexual
marital status: single
zodiac sign: leo
moral alignment: chaotic good
language(s) spoken: spanish, english
occupation: marine engineer
( &&. physical )
looks like: ryan guzman
height: 6′0″
weight: 165 lbs
hair color: dark brown
eye color: dark brown
tattoo(s): his mother’s birthdate written in roman numerals along his collarbone, barbed wire wrapped around his left bicep, cross on his inner right wrist, anchor on his right shoulder, his daughter’s name + birthdate + lil baby handprint over his left pec
scar(s): several small scars over his hands, arms, legs, etc.
dominant hand: right handed
distinguishing features: muscular physique, boyish features
jk but uh he’s lived in los angeles his entire ass life
he was a little punk as a kid??? always gettin into shit with the neighbours bc he ruined their gardens while playing with his dog, he tore through the streets like a madman with his pals on their bicycles, he lit bags of dog shit and left them on his neighbours’ front steps, and he threw rocks at girls’ windows but instead of it being romantic like intended he literally shattered their windows lmao
his dad ( a super religious man with no room for sinners in his life amen ) was on the verge of disowning leon for being a shithead i stg but his mom was his saving grace like she babied the absolute shit out of leon bless her SOUL and he got away with a lot that he shouldn’t have bc of it sdfgkhjf
OK SO UH he calmed down a lil after high school, went to ucla for like 5 years and became a certified marine engineer workin on big ol boats and maintaining them out on the sea which he loVES
fishing, sailing, literally anything on any kind of boat??? sign him tf up
he goes away for weeks at a time for work so he works like 2 weeks and then has 2 weeks off its wild
baptized catholic but he doesn’t actively practice?? he goes to church sometimes tho for his family’s sake
he has a 2 year old ( harper ) with rosa and that kid is his kryptonite like listen................that lil girl has this grown ass man wrapped around her pinky finger he will lit do ANYTHING for his daughter
( &&. wanted conns )
folks he grew up with / around!!! whether they were friends or enemies or lovers ( he’s lived in la his whole life so )
some good buddies outside of his work life that he can relax / let loose around and just ... bro out u know ( good influence or bad influence )
maybe some fellow church goers?? if anyone would be interested idk he doesn’t go regularly but he still confesses his sins n shit when he’s feeling real Bad
fellas he possibly got into a scuffle with?? whether it was a one time thing ( maybe some dumb drunk bs at a bar ) or they were known to throw fists whenever they saw each other ( this would be before harper was born bc he isn’t foolish anymore now that he’s a Dad )
cousins??? he has no siblings but cousins would be cool for a lil familia touch
literally anything !! i’m open to it all come plot pls
discoholicmusic
jbbartram-illu
origamiaround
turnnoffyourmind
baratheonpilled
kaledo-art
ellievsbear
blakekathryn
titsay
areudirty
romaincrisis
