True Elf Facts @trueelffacts - Tumblr Blog

tim-official

ORC FACTS

the green color is not chlorophyll. they cannot usually photosynthesize. but sometimes they can

the-orc

my cousin lorbish can photosynthesize

tim-official

ORC FACTS

lorbish can photosynthesize

Do elves like dwarves?

Elves love all races equally. Except dwarves, we do not much care for dwarves.

And elves are our favorite.

True Elf fact: Elves never seem to notice when their facts contradict other facts.

#contradictory facts are still facts #elf logic

True Elf Fact: Elves do daily lip, eyebrow, and cheek exercises to keep their faces sprightly and nimble.

#if it were not for those exercises some elves would go centuries between smiles

True Elf fact: Elves hate double clicking. It feels too needy and aggressive.

True Elf Fact: No elf has ever owned or used a rat tail comb, because that just sounds dangerous.

#what are rat parts even going to do with hair?#why would you comb it?

True Elf fact: Elves NEVER slip into something more comfortable. They will only ever slip into something more fabulous.

True Elf Fact: Wistful sighing is considered a fine art among elves.

#gotta get that sigh just right so people know to ask you what is wrong

True Elf fact: Elves refer to gray hairs as "elf highlights" to make mortals feel better about the aging process.

#those poor mortals

True Elf Fact: Elves can go without water for up to twenty days, but hate doing so as it makes their skin leathery.

#not a good look

True Elf fact: elves are willing to sacrifice a lot of they will look really majestic doing it

#for the greater good #and maybe for the vine

True Elf Fact: elves appreciate a good medley

True Elf fact: The average elf is 9% longer than the average human.

#but a significantly higher percentage better #and more beautiful #and smarter #and more attractive

True Elf Fact: The official elven rainbow has 26 distinct, named colors.

True Elf fact: Elves prefer using selfie sticks to better photograph their entire bodies, since the outfit is considered almost as important as the face.

True Elf Fact: Elves have outlawed perms on the grounds that they constitute hair abuse.

#just look at hobbits #that is an inhumane fashion choice

True Elf Fact: All elven robes have at least three secret pockets, for secret reasons no elf will ever divulge.

#the location of these pockets might surprise you!

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