when i was walkin' through the london city lights / i met the devil and he smiled at me and said, "you're going the wrong way" / your thumbs are idle and they're all mine ( "which way" - fka twigs, dystopia )
SYNOPSIS: despite knowing each other since high school, you weren't sure if you could consider you and jinsoul "friends" in the literal sense of the word. people around you never really knew how to label your relationship, as you both could go from having a heated argument to immediately doing anything to make the other happy, even if neither of you wanted to admit it. after a video of you drunkenly proclaiming that you both have been dating for 5 years goes viral, you and jinsoul now have to find a way to make it work.
kiof was one of my fav groups like i was also rooting so hard for them i loved the girls and the music was so some of my favorite like i absolutely adored them but im just so disgusted i cant
like they knew better and i know they knew better. like i also know that they know how many of their fans were black. like yall saw kissys on tour what the fuck were you thinking
i'll be sad thinking about it for a second like damn one of my fav groups sucks so bad and then i go back to anger and rage because what the fuck seriously
yeah 🫠 now that i'm getting to this ask they finally released a handwritten apology from the members and i just feel nothing atp 😭 like it's good the girls finally said something but man i'm done lmao i just don't trust them anymore
anyways i love your account i followed you for your natty smau because there was nothing of her and then you made jinsoul and i was a loona ult so i was ecstatic
ily trumanshow i know there is a c somewhere in your name but i never remember where
tysm 🥲🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽 and i forget where the c is in my url sometimes too lmao
kiof pissed me off so damn bad. they were one of my favorite groups and like there's no damn way they didn't know. belle saying before the live not to stop being their fan. don't play with me. they knew and they don't care it's disgusting. how can you be that like, dumb. not even dumb because they knew but how do you even like go through with that
i feel like i've been stuck in a loop where i go from angry to upset then back to being angry, the more i think about it the more bewildered i am that literally no one (both the girls and the staff) stopped to question what they were doing 💀 kiof was one of my ults too and they were my fav 5th gen group and i was rooting so hard for them because i really felt like they were bringing something new to kpop but if they cannot bring it in themselves to care about their black fans and how they feel by their actions then i really don't feel inclined to care about them
they definitely knew what they were doing (esp belle and julie) and the way some members have already started posting again like nothing happened just makes me feel like they don't care about what they done and to them this is just something that'll blow over eventually 👎🏽 everything about this makes julie's apology for saying the n slur feel insincere, especially the part where she says she educated herself and matured. if anything, to me it makes it feel like her apology was just damage control because the video of her saying the slur resurfaced during kiof's debut era and s2 didn't want any trouble right out of the gate. and whether that's true or not doesn't erase the fact that s2 saw no problem with anything in the livestream and that alone just shows to me that they didn't try educating julie further or even try educating any of the members on how to be respectful other cultures which is mind boggling to me considering that's it's very clear that they wanted kiof to reach out into international audiences 💀
everything still hurts and i don't think i'll ever look at girls the same way again. i know you never truly know your idols but i, never in a million years, could've seen this level of ignorance coming and it just makes me feel a certain type of way that i invested this much time and money into them
idk why s2 thinks they can move past this because now there's a whole plethora of people who'll know kiof for their ignorance and their ignorance alone. kiof aren't "nugu" by any means but they certainly aren't popular enough for them to leave this situation at a company statement and have it blow over. i really do think this will follow them for the rest of their careers and i just cannot find it in myself to feel any sympathy for them
okay 🥲 i know this blog has been inactive for a while now but i really do wanna say this as my most popular story is a natty fic (and i was in the process of writing a chapter) but i just don't feel comfortable writing for kiof anymore (or at least in this current moment). literally everything about julie's birthday live has made me feel upset, frustrated, and angry as a black kissy and i cannot in good conscience support them right now when i feel like they're this careless when it comes to their black fans, especially when julie already had to apologize for saying the n slur in the past. the statement from s2 isn't that good either as nothing in that live felt like a "celebration of hip hop culture" to me but instead an absolute mockery and being treated as a joke hurts. i don't believe kiof are bad people, but if they and s2 wants to reach international audiences, everyone involved in this disaster should know better, and it just doesn't feel like they care 🥲
i spent some time to think on this but west coast love will be on an indefinite hiatus (if not outright cancelled), i do want to return to writing on here so this will nawt be the last you see of me i promiseeee. tyasm for the love and support you've shown for wcl until now i really do appreciate it 🫶🏽
they're moving on like nothing happened idk why i expected there would be an actual apology from the girls instead of s2 hoping the company statement would be enough yeah i'm done lmao. when julie said the n slur she went on twitter and apologized so why can't the girls do that lol
okay 🥲 i know this blog has been inactive for a while now but i really do wanna say this as my most popular story is a natty fic (and i was in the process of writing a chapter) but i just don't feel comfortable writing for kiof anymore (or at least in this current moment). literally everything about julie's birthday live has made me feel upset, frustrated, and angry as a black kissy and i cannot in good conscience support them right now when i feel like they're this careless when it comes to their black fans, especially when julie already had to apologize for saying the n slur in the past. the statement from s2 isn't that good either as nothing in that live felt like a "celebration of hip hop culture" to me but instead an absolute mockery and being treated as a joke hurts. i don't believe kiof are bad people, but if they and s2 wants to reach international audiences, everyone involved in this disaster should know better, and it just doesn't feel like they care 🥲
i spent some time to think on this but west coast love will be on an indefinite hiatus (if not outright cancelled), i do want to return to writing on here so this will nawt be the last you see of me i promiseeee. tyasm for the love and support you've shown for wcl until now i really do appreciate it 🫶🏽
and here's the unfinished draft of chapter 19 because i'm probably not gonna finish this anytime soon lmao, the chapter song was soccer mommy's cover of i think you're alright and it's important to me that u know that okay ok
okay 🥲 i know this blog has been inactive for a while now but i really do wanna say this as my most popular story is a natty fic (and i was in the process of writing a chapter) but i just don't feel comfortable writing for kiof anymore (or at least in this current moment). literally everything about julie's birthday live has made me feel upset, frustrated, and angry as a black kissy and i cannot in good conscience support them right now when i feel like they're this careless when it comes to their black fans, especially when julie already had to apologize for saying the n slur in the past. the statement from s2 isn't that good either as nothing in that live felt like a "celebration of hip hop culture" to me but instead an absolute mockery and being treated as a joke hurts. i don't believe kiof are bad people, but if they and s2 wants to reach international audiences, everyone involved in this disaster should know better, and it just doesn't feel like they care 🥲
i spent some time to think on this but west coast love will be on an indefinite hiatus (if not outright cancelled), i do want to return to writing on here so this will nawt be the last you see of me i promiseeee. tyasm for the love and support you've shown for wcl until now i really do appreciate it 🫶🏽
A name that sparked many emotions. To some it was hatred, to others it was fear, to most it was adoration and envy.
Envy was an interesting emotion to Chaewon, for someone to envy her life made no sense to her. Originally Chaewon would have understood, after all she was rich, life was easy to her. But as she looks back in her life, was her life worthy of envy?
She looks back to when she was five, when her sister was born, and the joy she felt when her father left two days after she was born with a mutter of disappointment of it being another girl, and her mother a month later. For them leaving her then month old sister meant it wasn’t Chaewon's fault they never came home, but instead their distaste for being parents in general.
She looks back to when she was eight, as she sees her driver get on his knees and beg to not be fired. A consequence that he is only facing because Chaewon didn’t want to go to piano lessons causing them to be five minutes late.
She looks back to when she’s ten and coming home early due to her father being home, the excitement of seeing his car in the driveway buzzing in her chest as she ran to his office. Only for it to disappear when he kneels to fix her shoelaces and whispers, “Don’t mess this up for me,” in her ear, when he stands another man and a girl her age appear, he only came back for a business arrangement.
She looks back to when she was twelve and begging her mother, who was in Europe, on the phone to let her try cheerleading after finding her mother’s old uniform in a box a maid was throwing out. And the happiness when her mother said yes, as thoughts of her mom taking time off to watch her compete filled her mind.
She looks back to when she was thirteen, sweat pouring down her face as she holds a cheer trophy, the heat of people patting her back in congratulations making her uncomfortable. Her head feeling light as she looked through the crowd with urgency looking for her parent’s faces, they had promised to be there after all. The way her heart dropped when her nanny parted the crowd and headed for her, a look of pity on her face as she revealed her parents couldn’t make it and how they would call her when she got home.
They never called.
She looks back to when she was fifteen and had her first classes without Yizhuo, Minjeong and Aeri. She remembered how a girl, whose name she can’t remember, sat beside her and shared her textbook with her, the shipment of hers being delayed. She remembers the girl’s pretty smile when Chaewon had invited her to sit at lunch with her and her friends. She remembers the way tears filled the girl’s eyes when Aeri loudly asked her what she was doing when she tried to sit at the table, and how she needed to know her place. And most importantly she remembers the pang in her chest when she looked at her for help and Chaewon looked away.
She never saw the girl after that.
Looking back at all of this, Chaewon asks herself, did she have a happy life?
To answer this, she needed to ask herself another question, this one more heavy, who was she?
Happiness has a different meaning to everyone, to know if you’ve had a happy life you need to be able to define what happiness is to you.
And Chaewon had no idea who she was.
If she were to ask others they would probably say Chaewon was a pretty rich cheerleader.
All shallow.
And was Chaewon truly that shallow?
She would love to say no, she was more than just those three things.
But was she? Was Chaewon more than just the pretty rich cheerleader?
She didn’t know.
Sitting in front of her vanity mirror as a woman tugs at her hair so it can be perfect for the night she had waited for since learning of its existence, Chaewon could only laugh, here she was, someone who others saw as the epitome of confidence now struggling with her own self identity, to the point where her own reflection was unrecognizable.
It made her feel sick.
She wants to blame Yizhuo, or even Jihye for this sudden dilemma, but she knows they were just catalysts in the inevitable downfall of Kim Chaewon.
Eighteen years is a long time to not have a sense of self. Too long.
But could anyone blame her? When you’ve never had to make a single choice for yourself, how can you define who you are?
To her parents she was their oldest, the heir to her fathers company.
To her friends she was the “leader” of their group.
To the school she was someone everyone wanted to be.
But as she stares at herself, Yizhuo’s words cycle through her head.
Chaewon was a coward.
“What a nice start,” she thinks to herself. Her train of thought is interrupted by a knock on her door. The door opens after she tells them to enter.
“You look so beautiful,” her mother says with a gasp.
After the night her parents met Jihye, she had expected her mother to leave just like her father the day after. However, much to her surprise her mom revealed she was staying until Chaewon’s graduation. And although Chaewon wanted to be nonchalant, she couldn’t help the childish excitement from the prospect of her mom being home.
“Thank you,” she says back softly.
Her mom nods before sitting on the edge of Chaewon’s bed.
The two sit in silence, the sound of the woman’s straightener closing and opening being the only sound in the room. Once the woman finishes she leaves, after thanking her the two Kims sit in silence once more.
After a bit she hears light thumping, in the reflection of the mirror sees her mom patting the space next to her on the bed.
Chaewon stands from her chair and moves next to her mother, sitting down she finds herself only being able to look at her hands.
“Chae…what's wrong,” her mother asks her.
“Nothing.”
“I can tell that’s not true,” her mother starts as she brings a hand up to Chaewon’s head and pushes back a piece of hair that was curtaining her face, “So tell me what’s wrong.”
Chaewon just shakes her head, she didn’t want to confide in someone that was essentially a stranger to her, even if the child in her wanted to.
She hears her mother sigh before letting them fall into silence. After a few moments her mom speaks again, “It’s that girl, isn’t it?”
Chaewon looks up in shock, she thought her mother had forgotten about Jihye.
Her reaction is all Yoona needed as she gives her a knowing smile, “It is. I’m assuming your fathers reaction had a part in it.”
At the mention of that night Chaewon closes her eyes, physically trying to bite back the nausea that overtakes her anytime she thinks of Jihye and how her actions and what she stood for harmed her.
“Wonnie,” the nickname her mom used to call her whenever she had to tell her she couldn’t make it to one of her events, “Baby, tell me what happened.”
The dam breaks.
Her mom brings her into a hug, and Chaewon immediately melts into.
“It’s okay baby, it’s okay.”
The words cause her to sob even more, like a child she grips tightly onto her mother’s shirt and buries her face into her shoulder.
The comfort of a parent was something she had yearned for for years. And finally, she had it, at the apex of her agony, where she has no sense of self, it was finally here, and it made her want to scream.
After a while she finds herself coming to a natural calm, embarrassment flooding her as she pulls away from her mother. When she gains the courage to finally look up at her, she’s surprised to see her eyes also filled with tears.
Yoona gently wipes her daughter’s face, “Feel better?”
Chaewon nods bashfully.
“Want to tell me what happened now?”
And to Chaewon’s surprise, she does. The words spill out of her like this was a regular thing her and her mom did, but it wasn’t. And maybe that’s why a few sentences in the doubts come in tenfold.
I don’t know why she’s acting like she cares now, she hasn’t for years. I’m going to tell her all of this and for what? Her to go to some other country months on end so she can’t follow up, ridiculous.
Chaewon has to wonder, are these thoughts a defining trait to her? Is spite something she is not only capable of, but something that should be expected of her? She hopes not.
When she finishes her spiel her mother is wide eyed, “Wow, that was…a lot,” she says, causing Chaewon to nod in agreement.
Chaewon waits with bated breath for her mom to continue, she always dreamed of telling her mom these things and receiving what she would deem as the best advice she could ever hear due to her mom’s wisdom.
“However, it sounds like you already know what to do.”
That's it?
Chaewon cannot stop the way her jaw clenches immediately, “What?”
Her mom shrugs softly, “From what you told me, it seems you already know what to do.”
Chaewon scoffs, “Of course, I don’t even know why I bothered. You have no idea what I’m going through, and never have, and that's why it’s so simple for you to write this off so easily.”
Impulsive.
Kim Chaewon is impulsive.
“You know what,” she says while standing up, “You’re right, I do got it. I know you used up all your yearly mother hours so you don’t have to stay anymore and pretend to care, especially over something you don’t understan-”
“Her name was Yuri.”
“What?”
“Kwon Yuri, she and her family inherited a mandarin farm in Jeju but to make some extra money she would work in my family summer home.”
Her mother pauses, before sighing, “She captivated me when I first met her for she was everything I wasn’t. She was kind, humble, resourceful, smart, god was she smart, and most importantly she was free. For the first time in my life, I was enamored with someone.”
Yoona laughs, one filled with a tinge of bittersweetness, “My parents used to wonder why I was so interested in going back to Jeju every summer instead of abroad with them, but I couldn’t tell them that I had…cared for someone who worked for us.”
Chaewon watches as her mother’s jaw clenches slightly, “Then the summer after I graduated came, and my parents revealed they were sending me abroad to study. We, Yuri and I, had written to each other constantly, letters were more personal, Yuri had said back then, but it wasn’t the same, we were growing apart. And then on my twenty-first birthday my parents revealed I’d be getting married to your father,” Yoona pauses, she takes a breath to calm herself, “Yuri…wasn’t happy to say the least. I had invited her to the wedding, which I know was stupid, but part of me back then wished that she’d come, and that she’d…”
Her mother doesn’t finish that sentence, the words “she’d save me,” going unsaid, but Chaewon knew.
After taking another calming breath Yoona looks up at her, a pained smile painting her face, “I tell you all this to say, I may not know exactly what you’re going through, but I know enough to understand, and to know what I don’t want you to go through. I said it sounded like you had it figured out because while you told me everything, everytime you mentioned that girl and the prospect of losing her you sounded just like me when I risked losing…her. The difference between us is you are far more braver than I am.”
Yoona reaches to the space next to her grabbing two papers and handing it to Chaewon, “I had originally gotten these for you and Yeonjun, I see now he is not the one you want, so instead use these for you and Jihye.”
Looking down, Chaewon's eyes widen as she sees two one-way tickets to anywhere.
“Mom, I can’t-”
Her mom cuts her off by putting a hand up, “Go explore the world with her.”
Chaewon’s eyes start to well with tears for the second time that evening, “What if she says no?”
“She might, but she also might say yes.”
Yoona stands from the bed with a clap, “Now let’s finish getting you ready, you have an important night.”
Chaewon nods before pausing, “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Do you regret not running after that woman?”
Yoona’s eyebrows furrow as she takes a moment to think, before shaking her head, “No, through I cared for her deeply, if I had ran after her I wouldn’t have had you and your sister, and I know I haven’t been the best mother in the world, but I would never trade you guys for anything.”
Not waiting for a response Yoona sits Chaewon on the chair in front of her vanity, “Now get ready the limo will be here in an hour.”
Chaewon pauses before gasping, “My dress, Jihye said she’d be wearing black today and the one I have planned out is matching Yeonjun’s colors.”
“I’ll have that all worked out, don't worry, just fix your makeup and I’ll bring you the dress.”
Chaewon nods as her mother reaches for her door to leave before calling for her once more.
“Yes?”
“Love you.”
She watches as a tear slides down her mother’s face before clearing her throat, “I love you too.”
And while Chaewon knows this moment with her mom won’t fix the years of pain she’s dealt with, however it’s at least a start.
The tension is heavy as Chaewon enters the limo.
On one side sat Yizhuo and Wonyoung, a big enough gap to show that Yizhuo was forced to be there with them.
Across from them sat Aeri and Minjeong, both sending glares at Yizhuo, Aeri more than Minjeong.
Since the party the group had not had a chance to make up with Yizhuo, partly due to lack of trying and Yizhuo focusing more on getting Jimin back than making up with her friends.
Chaewon had tried to reach out to Yizhuo but after her fifth text she found herself being blocked, though it had hurt she also understood, she hadn’t stood up for Yizhuo and due to her cowardice Yizhuo had lost the girl she had wanted since she first saw her.
Chaewon decides to sit in between Wonyoung and Yizhuo due to the couple opposite of them being disgustingly close, and secretly she had missed her best friend.
“New color I see,” Aeri comments to which Chaewon just nods back to, “It looks nice.”
Muttering a thanks, the limo falls into silence.
They soon run into traffic due to multiple high schools also having their prom that night.
Breaking the silence Aeri huffs in annoyance, “Okay Wonyoung, what the fuck is up with you?”
The question causes the youngest to freeze as the rest look at her. Chaewon had noticed that the girl was acting a bit strange, but out of consideration decided to not bring it up, Aeri had not done the same.
Yizhuo speaks for the first time since she’s gotten into the car, “Why don’t you just leave her alone?”
Aeri rolls her eyes, “And here comes Captain Yizhuo to save the day.”
“Fuck off, yeah?”
“No why don’t you fuck off? I don’t even know why you’re here, don’t you have a new friend group with your girlfriend?”
At the mention of Jimin Yizhuo sits up straight, “Don’t talk about her.”
“Or what,” Aeri asks, leaning forward.
“I’m dating Yujin!”
The group falls silent, and Chaewon looks at Wonyoung who looks shocked at what she had just said.
“What,” Chaewon asks.
Wonyoung winces slightly, “I’m…dating Yujin. And have been since the beginning of the year. An-And I don’t care what any of you think because I really like her, so!”
And though the girl had tried to say it confidently all the girls could see the nervousness written on her face.
Aeri leans back into her seat before turning to Minjeong, “You owe me that necklace.”
Minjeong groans as Wonyoung looks at the two confused, “What?”
Aeri turns to Wonyoung before shaking her head, “I caught you with the girl the other day in the chemistry lab, she was asking you to prom, I was gonna step in but you accepted, usually I would’ve put you on blast but…due to other circumstances I’ve decided to stay silent.”
Aeri ends her sentence by staring directly in Chaewon’s eyes, tilting her head to the side she gives her a knowing smile, “Is there anything you want to confess Chaewon?”
Panic is not an emotion Chaewon was familiar with, but now as Aeri stares her down, it’s all she could feel. She knows this is her defining moment, what she decides here lays the platform for the rest of her life. As crazy as it sounds it's the truth, if she lies here she loses Jihye and proves her mother wrong, that she wasn’t that brave. But if she tells them the truth, she has a chance to earn that title given to her by her mother, and she really doesn’t want to lose Jihye.
Yizhuo’s scoff is what stops her mind from reeling, “Some things never change.”
That’s enough for Chaewon to speak, “I’m dating Yoo Jihye, and if you have a problem with it I have no issue ending our friendship and keeping it business like it should’ve been from the start.”
All the girls look shocked, except for Aeri, who just looks amused, “You can calm down, I knew already.”
“What? There’s no way you did.”
“You’re right at first I had no clue, until the party. I mean when she approached you I was a bit confused, but I brushed it off she was terribly fucked up so maybe she was confused. But then Yizhuo had her temper tantrum,” this earns her the middle finger from said girl, “and it suddenly started clicking. What tied it all together is how annoyingly bitchy and depressed you became when she didn’t show up last week and most of this week.”
Chaewon’s eyebrows furrows at the revelation, “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“At first I almost did, but like I said you were depressed as hell and I realized as long as it’s not crazy ass Yena or annoying Yeonjun, which I’m still confused about, I can let it slide. This doesn’t mean I understand, cause trust me I don’t, it doesn’t make sense whatsoever. However, since you’re doing all this it must mean she’ll be around in the future and since we’re stuck together I’ll try and understand.”
Chaewon could sob, but she refuses to ruin her makeup for the second time that night.
“Thanks Aeri.”
“Whatever,” she sighs, “This also extends to you two, if those…girls make you happy then so be it.”
Wonyoung immediately thanks her, while Yizhuo just nods.
The limo finally arrives at the venue the school had rented out for the night, a red carpet at the entrance, and one of their teachers acting like a valet stands at the front.
Their driver opens their door and holds his hand out for each girl to use as they get out. As the others enter, Chaewon stops Yizhuo, “Can I talk to you?”
The girl nods, albeit reluctantly and allows the Kim to drag her to the side.
Chaewon breathes out, “I’ve never done this before so bear with me…I’m sorry. I know I haven’t been the best friend to you and I didn’t stick up for you when I should’ve, but I’ve been thinking about what you said and you’re right I am a coward. A huge one, but I’d really like to not be one and-”
Yizhuo cuts her off, “Chaewon, relax.”
“I’m relaxed.”
Yizhuo laughs, “You’re not, but that's okay. You’re right about sucking at that, but I’m thankful you bothered to apologize. The truth is, I was a bit of an asshole too that night, I tried to push you to say you were dating Jihye and it wasn’t the right time at all. I took my hurt from Jimin leaving me and pushed it onto you, so I’m sorry too.”
Chaewon just nods before smiling at Yizhuo, “Does this mean we’re good?”
Yizhuo smiles before hugging the girl, “Of course, like Aeri said we’re stuck together.”
“Wait, how are you and Jimin?”
Yizhuo pulls back, her smile impossibly bigger, “We’re working on getting back together, we’re actually matching tonight.”
With that Yizhuo starts to drag Chaewon inside, both girls happy to have their best friend back.
Yizhuo had peeled from Chaewon’s side as soon as they entered the venue, looking for Jimin.
Standing to the side, Chaewon took this chance to look for Jihye, though it was proving to be difficult as the room was dark and their senior class was quite big.
Finally spotting her near the drinks Chaewon started to part through the crowd, people trying to stop her to say hi but none of them mattered now that she had seen the taller girl.
As she gets closer she sees Jihye talking to another girl, she immediately starts to glare when she sees its Natty.
“This girl just won’t stop,” she mutters to herself, before stepping closer to make herself known to the two, “Hi Natty, if you don’t mind I need to borrow my girlfriend really quickly.”
She doesn’t give her a chance to respond, the shocked look on her face satisfying enough, as she pulls Jihye onto the dance floor, a soft song playing now.
When she stops she finally faces the taller, everything is suddenly right with the world.
“What are you doing,” Jihye asks her, her tone not harsh but also not welcoming.
“Dance with me.”
“What?”
Chaewon sighs before wrapping the girls arms around her waist and her own around Jihye’s neck. Closing any gap between them she leans up to whisper in her ear, “Dance with me.”
When she feels the girl freeze, she smiles thinking she had her right where she wanted her, until Jihye pulls away from her. Grabbing her hand, Jihye pulls both of them to the hallway.
Once in the hallway Jihye turns to her, disbelief painting her face, “You can’t just walk in and act like nothing happened…”
And Chaewon wanted to listen, but the hallway was a lot brighter than the hall, and this is the first time she had seen Jihye closely since the party
Lifting her hand up she rubs Jihye’s face, tracing the bruises and cuts littering her face.
“Look what she did to you…does it hurt?”
Even though she’s frustrated with the girl she shakes her head, “Not as much anymore, but you would know that if you came to visit me.”
Chaewon sighs before removing her hand, Jihye immediately missing her touch.
“I know, I’m sorry.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“I was scared,” at the look on Jihye’s face Chaewon immediately speaks again, “Not of anyone seeing me, of your reaction.”
“You still should’ve come, I needed you.”
Chaewon frowns at the girl’s words, “I’m sorry, about everything actually. I’m sorry about keeping you a secret, I’m sorry for forcing you to be okay with me and Yeonjun, I’m sorry for calling you selfish, and most importantly I’m sorry for stepping away from you at the party.”
Sighing, she looks away from the soccer player, “I know I’ve made a lot of mistakes, it’s just my whole life has been planned out for me since the moment I was born; the way I walk, the way I talk, how I dress, everything. Due to this I never even considered falling in love, until I met you.”
Chaewon chuckles to herself, “I heard I really suck at apologies so I guess what I’m trying to say is, I know who I am now is not worthy of you, but if you’d let me I’d really like to try and become worthy of you.”
Looking up, she's surprised to see tears filling Jihye’s eyes.
“I messed up again didn’t I? Disregard all that then, let me try this agai-”
She’s cut off by the girl hugging her, “You love me?”
It takes Chaewon a few seconds to catch what the girl said, too busy thinking about how nice it feels to be back in her arms, “I do,” she says after a few seconds.
Pulling away Jihye looks at her, “This doesn’t mean I forgive you, you hurt me really badly, but I really missed you and I really love you too.”
“Yeah,” Chaewon asks with a laugh, her hand going back up to Jihye’s face.
“Yeah,” Jihye says bringing her own hand up to hold Chaewon’s
“Good, this makes my next question easier, what do you think about coming to see the world with me?”
Jihye furrows her eyebrows in confusion, “What do you mean?”
“I mean my mom has gifted me two plane tickets to anywhere and I want you to come with me. Maybe earn you back under the Eiffel Tower,” Chaewon says nervously laughing, “You can say no of course, I know you have to prepare for Andong, but I don’t know I’d just like for you to come.”
“Chae…I..can’t accept that, I mean I can’t even afford that.”
Chaewon quickly shakes her head, “You don’t have to worry about the price, my mom will handle all that, just bring yourself.”
“I don’t know Chae…”
“Please, even if you decide you don’t want to be with me anymore I just would really like it if you came.”
Before Jihye could say anything else a voice comes from out of nowhere.
“Girl just say yes, when the hell will we ever have a chance like that?”
Turning they see Yujin, “My bad I saw you two walk out and decided to follow just in case. Not important, bro you gotta say yes.”
“Excuse me for a second,” Jihye says, pulling away from Chaewon.
Heading for Yujin she grips her shoulder and pulls her into a corner, where they start talking.
And though she should really be worried about what they’re discussing, Chaewon can’t help but notice how good Jihye looks in a suit, especially one matching her.
The conversation ends with Jihye getting hit in the back of the head and Yujin dragging her over.
“She’s going. Also, hi Chaewon, heard you accepted Wonyoung and I, which is like, super cool. Anyways, I’ll leave you guys to plan,” she turns to Jihye, “Be back in within the next 5 minutes before Jimin starts hunting, and you know she’s not as forgiving as us.”
Laughing as the other girl enters the hall again she turns back to Jihye, “I know she said yes, but I’d rather hear it from you.”
Jihye sighs softly, “This doesn’t mean I forgive you,” Chaewon’s heart soars, “like I said you hurt me, but…Yujin is right we never get chances like this and I’d be stupid to turn it down. Being with you is cool too I guess.”
Chaewon jumps on the girl hugging her tightly, “Thank you thank you thank you, I swear you won’t regret saying yes. I will grovel in every single country I swear.”
Laughing Jihye puts Chaewon down gently, “I’ll be holding you to that.”
Chaewon nods, “As you should.”
Grabbing her hand the two fall in a comfortable silence before Jihye speaks again, “We should probably go back in, they’re going to announce prom queen.”
But Chaewon doesn’t move leaving Jihye confused, “Chae?”
Chaewon just pulls Jihye to her, “I’m not in any rush, are you?”
Hugging the shorter girl Jihye shakes her head with a smile, “Nope, I’m too busy thinking about what countries I’m going to be enjoying myself in.”
“Yeah?”
Jihye nods.
Smiling Chaewon looks up at her causing Jihye to look down at her.
“I think I want to do that too.”
“Yeah,” Jihye asks.
“Yeah,” Chaewon answers.
Jihye pulls away with her hand out for Chaewon to grab, “Shall we then?”
Chaewon doesn’t respond instead she grabs her hand and begins to pull them, running through the venues hall towards the exit, a smile on both of their faces.
Kim Chaewon may not know much about herself, but she finds comfort in knowing one thing is certain, she is madly in love Yoo Jihye.
tw - violence, high school parties (underage drinking, weed insinuated)
Jihye huffed as she threw the controller down, purposely looking away from Eunchae who was up and celebrating.
“Lost again, what happened to your gaming skills?”
Jihye scoffed, “You’re literally cheating!”
“How?”
Jihye looked over at the cheerleader who was simply smirking. Each time Jihye was close to winning, Chaewon would purposely distract her with a kiss.
“Not my fault you’re terribly gay,” Eunchae retorted, making Chaewon laugh.
“Let's go again,” Jihye turns to Chaewon, “You need to stay away from me, you demon.”
Chaewon pouts at her before pecking her lips once more and cuddling into her side.
The two girls started playing again, this time Jihye beating Eunchae easily, causing Eunchae to huff this time.
“Whatever, Mario Kart is stupid anyways.”
Jihye laughed, “Yeah it’s stupid now that I won, huh?”
As the two girls started to bicker, the door to the game room opens. The three girls look up, shock crossing both of Kim’s faces, “Mom?”
Jihye grips her jeans nervously as a staff member places a plate in front of her. She was purposely avoiding eye contact with the two people sitting across from her by staring down at her hands on her lap.
Out of all her of time being with Chaewon, and coming to her house, she had yet to have met her parents, both of them always away on business trips. As they sit in front of her, Jihye can feel the wealth and power radiating off of them. While both Kim girls had strong auras that pulled people’s attention to them, their parents were the opposite. Just being in their presence would make you feel inferior, like you weren’t worthy to breathe the same air as them.
Jihye looked up when she felt Chaewon’s hand grasp hers, the cheerleader squeezing the other’s as a way to reassure her.
“Jihye, is it,” Chaewon’s father starts, “What did you say your family name was?”
Jihye cleared her throat to meekly respond, “Yoo.”
Chaewon’s father, Changwook, nods slightly, “As in the Yoo Group?”
Jihye shakes her head, “No, sir.”
“Yoo Construction?”
Jihye shakes her head again.
“So what do your parents do?”
“Umm, my father works in insurance, and my mom is a baker.”
“Oh,” the man says clearly disappointed, and it immediately causes Jihye to look down again.
Chaewon’s mother, Yoona, speaks this time, “So Jihye, where are you from? You say certain words interestingly.”
Jihye blushes, embarrassed that she still slightly had her hometown's dialect, “I’m from Andong.”
Changwook scoffs before muttering lightly, “A country kid.”
“Dad,” Chaewon says sharply.
Trying to lighten up the slightly tense mood, Yoona speaks again, “Beautiful town, its scenery is stunning.”
Jihye nods, clearly dejected.
Sighing softly Yoona speaks again, clearly trying to ease the girl, “Are you involved in any extracurriculars?”
Chaewon, clearly angry, speaks up this time, “She was on the soccer team and lead the robotics club.”
“Robotics,” Yoona starts, “That means you’re pretty smart.”
“She’s very smart,” Chaewon answers for her, pride now lacing her voice.
“And also really good at games,” Eunchae adds, it slightly muffled due to her having food in her mouth.
Ignoring her, Changwook asks, “And what do you plan to do for college?”
This time Chaewon looks at Jihye, she was also curious, whenever college was brought up the taller girl would always skirt around the topic.
Looking up Jihye clears her throat once more, “I’m going back to Andong to attend college there.”
Chaewon’s eyes widen, Jihye was leaving her?
But before she could question her, her dad speaks again, “What a waste.”
His words cause everyone to go silent, after a few moments Jihye stands, stumbling slightly when she pushes out the chair, “I think I should go, thank you for dinner Mr. and Mrs. Kim.” She leaves without waiting for a response, clearly humiliated.
Chaewon glares at her dad as she immediately stands after.
“Thanks a lot dad.”
Before she can leave, her father calls her name. Without looking up at her, he starts, “You don’t need to be wasting time with commoners that have no real plans for their future. They’ll do nothing, but drag you down, remember that.”
Chaewon doesn’t bother with a response, she had nothing to say to him, and she needed to find Jihye.
She doesn’t have to go far when she steps outside and finds the girl sitting mid-way down the stairs, sobbing.
Chaewon walks down to the girl and sits next to her, when Jihye looks up to see who it is, Chaewon's heart breaks.
“Oh baby…”
She immediately brings the girl into a hug, the action causing Jihye to sob even more. Holding her tightly Chaewon presses small kisses to the top of her head, rubbing her back gently. Silently letting the girl know she would be there for her for as long as she needed her to be.
The late-spring air engulfs the two, the night being one of the oddly cool ones. Wind fills the silence between them as they use their feet to push themselves lightly back and forth on the swings.
Once Jihye had calmed down, Chaewon, not wanting to talk to her father, suggested they walk to the nearby park.
An idea she regretted now, for as they sat there, Chaewon’s thoughts ran wild.
Our time together is running out. Why doesn’t she seem to care about that? Why hadn’t she told me already?
“Thank you,” Jihye says, breaking the silence.
How do you really feel about me?
“For what,” Chaewon asks, looking at the other.
“Coming with me despite it being late.”
How can you not be panicking, we graduate soon.
Chaewon shakes her head, fearful if she speaks all these thoughts will spill out before she can process them.
“Chae?”
She hums in response.
“Are you okay?”
Those words knock down the dam.
“How long did you know,” Chaewon asks, her voice slightly wavering.
The question confuses Jihye, “What?”
Chaewon’s hands tighten around the chains holding the swing, the cold metal pressing harshly into the bones of her fingers.
“How long did you know about college,” Chaewon asks again.
Jihye lets out a small “oh.”
A beat of silence passes before she answers, “The beginning of the year.”
Chaewon felt sick.
She felt Jihye watching her, she could even feel the anxiety coming off of her, it made her angry.
Chaewon never had the best handle on her emotions, maybe it was her absent parents fault, or maybe it's because she never had anyone she cared about this greatly. As she stands from the swing, her fist clenched, she’s reminded of when people would say she reminded them of her father.
She had hated the comparison, she was nothing like her father who never smiled, whose only emotion seemed to be disappointment and rage. But now as the rage settles in, she wonders if Jihye would make the same comparison.
“When the hell were you going to tell me,” she yells, her tone unforgiving.
Jihye panickedly stands up, the bout of rage clearly shocking her.
“I-I don’t know.”
“You don’t know,” Chaewon shouts incredulously, “Don’t lie to me Jihye.”
Jihye looks down before muttering out, “Graduation.”
“Graduation?! Are you fucking kidding me?!”
“I didn’t know how,” she pauses, nerves clearly getting her.
“How to what Jihye,” Chaewon interrupts.
“To tell you.”
Chaewon scoffs, “Oh I don’t fucking know maybe ‘I’m going back to my hometown for college’ would’ve worked.”
Jihye doesn’t say anything, which just causes Chaewon to be angrier.
“Did you even think about me?”
“Of course-”
She’s cut off by Chaewon, “Or was it just fuck Chaewon?”
Jihye tries to speak again, but Chaewon isn’t looking for a conversation anymore.
“God, do you realize how selfish you are? You didn’t even bother to think about me.”
“Now wait-”
“You make me so mad. Did you even think about us-”
“What ‘us,’” Jihye interrupts this time.
“What?”
The question shocks Chaewon, stopping her rage-based tangent.
“What ‘us’ Chaewon,” Jihye starts, “The ‘us’ in school where I get bullied and you pretend to not see because you don’t know I exist? Or maybe its the ‘us’ that's three hours away from Seoul so we can’t be recognized.”
Jihye continues, “Speaking of Seoul, I know we’re pretty close to where ANY one can recognize you, so is it ok for me to even mention an ‘us’ right now, I would seriously hate for anyone to think anything especially since you have a boyfriend. Hey speaking of which did you talk about ‘us’ to him or are we not allowed to be an ‘us’ there either?”
Jihye’s spiel should’ve pulled Chaewon from her anger, but she’s her father’s child and pride is a dangerous thing.
“Is this what it’s about, not being public in school,” Chaewon rolls her eyes, “We graduate next month, who cares about that?”
“I do,” Jihye exclaims, her voice falters at the end, “I do. If you’re ashamed to be with me at school, how can there be an ‘us’ in the real world?”
The question genuinely confuses Chaewon, “Ashamed? Why would I be ashamed of you?”
“Cause I’m poor Chaewon! I’m going to college in Andong because my parents can’t afford to help me AND my sister go to college. I tell my friends, especially Jimin, to stay silent about my bullying so my sister can win school president every year just so she can get some type of scholarship.”
Chaewon knows she's fighting a losing battle, but she can’t help but keep trying, “Why would how much money you have matter?”
“Because it does,” Jihye’s voice is littered with desperation, “It took your father all of three minutes to decide I was inferior just because I’m not rich enough. How many “I can’t afford that” will it take for you to feel the same?”
The question knocks all air out of Chaewon, she wants to respond but what can she say?
She feels constricted, even outside she feels suddenly closed in. She unconsciously takes a step back trying to get some space to breathe.
She watches Jihye, she watches as her chest rises and falls roughly, almost as if she’s struggling to breathe, she watches as the wind pushes hair in her face. As she follows a tear slide down her face, she realizes she’s never seen this side of Jihye before.
It felt as if she was face to face with a stranger.
It made her feel nauseous.
Here was the girl she had been with for months, someone she imagined a future with, which she now knew was one-sided, and she didn’t recognize her.
Chaewon knows it’s still Jihye, but she’s never seen her this desperate, this broken.
It makes her wonder how long she kept this side hidden from her. (And if she somehow forced her to hide it from her.)
The thought makes Chaewon feel dizzy, she feels her mind unraveling slowly as Jihye watches her, it's becoming too much for her so she does what she does best, run.
She can hear Jihye calling for her, her voice raspy and crackling from the amount of crying she had done today, but she keeps running.
And she doesn’t know how she should feel when she realizes Jihye doesn’t run after her.
Jihye sighs as she parks the car and takes out the key from the ignition. She leans back into her seat and closes her eyes.
She opens them when she feels a hand on her arm.
“You okay,” Jimin asks, “We don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to.”
Jimin's face is then blocked by Yujin’s, who is now leaning over the armrest.
“Uhh, yes we do, I’ve been looking forward to this all week.”
Neither girl is able to respond as Yujin’s head is then pulled back by Yunjin.
“Stop being rude you beast,” Yunjin tells her before looking at Jihye, “We can leave if you want, ignore her.”
Jihye shakes her head and gives them a small smile, “I’m fine you guys.”
It had been a full week since her argument with Chaewon. When she had finally calmed down she had tried to find Chaewon, but was too late, as the girl had already gone home.
She felt horrible escalating the situation, Chaewon was rightfully upset, Jihye had hidden something big from her.
Once Jimin had picked her up Jihye tried calling her to apologize, and even explain that she did imagine a future where they work out, and that she just didn’t want to hold Chaewon back from the life she deserves, but she didn’t answer.
She expected it of course, she really hurt her, so she left messages instead. But every text sent went unread, her Twitter dormant.
Any small glances she sent to her at school went unresponded, Chaewon was ignoring her.
Her friends had of course noticed something was up when Yizhuo also ignored her at their recent friend group meeting.
They had offered to skip the pre-prom party, which name didn’t make sense since prom was two weeks away, since they knew Chaewon would be there. However, Jihye reassured them multiple times that she wanted to go, she truthfully only wanted to come so she could see Chaewon anyways.
Which led them to where they are now, in front of some huge house with music blasting out of it.
She looks up when she hears knocking on her window, she finds Yuna and Wonbin making dumb faces at her while Yeji shakes her head behind them.
Jihye laughs before opening her door, which causes the others to open their doors and step out too.
Once she’s out she locks the door and turns to the group putting on a painfully obvious faux smile, “Ready?”
No one bothers to respond instead deciding to walk across the lawn to head into the house.
Jimin immediately moves next to her, “You sure you’re fine?”
Jihye groans lightly, “Yes, stop worrying.”
“I can’t help it.”
Jihye chuckles softly, “I know mother.”
Jimin rolls her eyes playfully, as everyone enters the house Jimin stops Jihye by the door, “I’m serious if at any point you want to go home just tell me, we’ll go.”
Jihye nods, “I know, now go find Yizhuo I know she’s waiting for you somewhere.”
Jimin smiles at the mention of the girl and hugs the taller one before running off.
Jihye takes a breath before stepping in the house.
When she enters the house she’s immediately overstimulated, the music is loud, the air is filled with the smell of alcohol and a substance she’s sure isn’t legal in Korea.
Walking further in she bumps into someone, she goes to apologize but stops when she sees its Yena.
The girl's eyes are red, her pupils dilated, she’s clearly gone.
She sneers at Jihye, “Watch where you’re fucking going.”
Jihye doesn’t get to reply as the girl walks away, shaking her head, she heads into the kitchen.
The kitchen is littered with bottles, and miscellaneous snacks that are spilled all over the counters.
Jihye begins to look for anything non-alcoholic since she was the designated driver.
While she’s searching she feels a tap on her shoulder.
Turning around she’s met with an ice cold water bottle, the girl handing it to her unfamiliar.
Jihye takes the bottle with a thanks, after taking a drink she puts it on the counter.
“I’m Jihye,” she says to her.
The girl laughs softly, “I know, I’m Lily.”
Jihye nods, she has no idea who this girl is, but she’ll pretend she does.
“How’d you know I wanted,” she finishes her sentence by raising her water bottle.
Lily laughs again, “You passed by multiple alcohol bottles so I assumed you aren’t drinking.”
Jihye nods, “Yeah, designated driver.”
“I thought so.”
Lily continues, but Jihye tunes her out. She didn’t mean to, Lily actually seems like a chill person. But when she looked up she caught sight of Chaewon, and the world seemingly went silent.
Chaewon was standing beside her friends, a drink in her hand, that even from a distance Jihye could tell was untouched.
While her friends were talking Chaewon hadn’t opened her mouth even once, truthfully she looked exhausted.
Jihye still found her beautiful.
When Chaewon finally looked at her Jihye offered her a small smile which caused Chaewon to immediately look away.
Jihye sighed before looking back at a confused Lily, “Sorry,” she says, “Can you repeat that?”
Lily nods before starting over.
Tonight was going to be a long night.
Yena was intoxicated, anyone could see that, but she didn’t care who noticed she was on a mission.
Tonight was the night she got Chaewon back.
Keeping her eyes on Jihye she watches as the girl keeps looking at Chaewon, it annoyed Yena greatly, the audacity of her to look so publicly.
After a few more minutes Yena lets out a sigh of relief when she realizes Chaewon didn’t respond to any of Jihye’s glances. Chaewon never ignored anyone she knew unless she was done with them, and being done with Jihye meant Yena actually had a chance to do what she planned to do tonight.
It was too perfect, the nerd was out of the picture, prom was in two weeks, and then graduation. All of which offered Yena the perfect opportunity to publicly claim Chaewon as hers again.
Pushing herself off the wall, she placed her drink on a random table and made her way towards where Chaewon was standing.
Once she stood just behind Chaewon she froze, sobering in an instant.
She felt so stupid.
Chaewon hadn’t been glancing at Jihye because she didn’t have to, she had picked the perfect spot in the house where no matter where Jihye stood in the kitchen she could see her.
She had been watching her all night.
All the rage that had been building up, came back tenfold.
Pushing past Chaewon, Yena now had a new mission: make Jihye pay.
And the setting couldn’t have made it easier for Yena.
Jihye was greatly distracted talking to a random girl, the music so loud she couldn’t hear Yena stomping her way to her.
That’s why when Yena pushed past Lily and winded up her arm Jihye didn’t have time to react.
It didn’t hit Jihye what had happened until she heard Lily gasp, and felt something wet hitting her hand, blood.
She could hear Yena saying something, Jihye’s brain unable to comprehend it due to it still trying to process the fact Yena had just punched her.
It wasn’t until she heard Yena say that she “wasn’t good enough for Chaewon anyways,” did Jihye’s brain finally snap out of it. A rage overtook Jihye, one she’s never felt before, maybe it was a build up of the past school year, maybe it was just the exhaustion of hearing something she already knew, or maybe she was just over Yena bothering her. She doesn’t know what specifically it was that caused her to stand back up, and punch Yena right back.
Silence takes over the two, adrenaline pushing out all sounds of music and people.
Jihye watches as Yena’s hand goes up to the offended area, her cheekbone, before she lets her hand drop, immediately balling it into a fist.
They both stare at each other, Jihye’s mouth still dripping blood.
The slight flex of Jihye’s hand is what sets Yena off, as she immediately tackles Jihye into the refrigerator.
The impact causes Jihye to lose all air in her, before she can catch her breath she instinctively pushes them both off the fridge with her foot causing Yena to hit her back on the island.
From here they both end up on the floor, Jihye on top as she lays punches on the basketball player, who, once she catches her own breath, flips them over.
They both struggle trying to be the one on top, neither paying attention to their surroundings, Jihye eventually hits her head hard on a cabinet, and that's all it takes for Yena.
Now straddling her, Yena doesn’t hold back as she delivers blow after blow to Jihye's face.
As she winds up Jihye quickly covers her head with her arms, the action only makes Yena angrier, as she begins to punch any area on Jihye’s body she can.
The blows hardly come to a stop when she feels someone rip Yena off, Yena instead taking it as an opportunity to kick her.
After a few seconds of peace Jihye sprawls out on the kitchen floor, taking in deep breaths, as the adrenaline slowly wears off it leaves nothing but pain in its wake.
She feels a hand lightly cup her cheek, she can tell by the way it feels it's not Chaewon, she wishes it was.
She opens her eyes slightly, the action making her wince, and sees Yunjin and Kazuha above her, panic painting their faces.
As the last of adrenaline wears off her sense of hearing comes back in full, the loudness of everything makes her already pounding head worse, the bass of the music brings new waves of pain each time it shakes the floor.
“Get the others now,” she hears Yunjin say frantically, the hand that was softly grazing her face disappears, leaving her to stare dazedly at Yunjin.
“Hey bud,” she hears Yunjin say.
How strange, Yunjin has never called me bud before.
She feels the thudding of her friend group before she hears them, the banging making her head spin.
Someone drops down beside her and when she turns her head slightly to the left she sees her sister.
Jimin has many emotions painting her face, none positive, it scares Jihye slightly.
Jimin immediately looks up at Yunjin, her voice harsh, “What happened?”
“This girl named Lily came to Zuha and me and told us Yena and Hye were fighting. We got Wonbin and when he pulled Yena off, Jihye was like this.”
Jimin closed her eyes, clearly trying to calm herself as her jaw clenched, “How long has she been laying like this?”
“Not long.”
Letting out a sigh, Jimin finally calms herself enough to start giving instructions, “Yeji and Yuna, I need you guys to start making a pathway for us, the last thing we need is Jihye bumping into anyone, use Wonbin if you have to. Yujin,” she pauses as she reaches into Jihye’s hoodie pocket, softly apologizing when the girl winces, grabbing the keys she throws them to Yujin, “start the car. Zuha, get wet rags or napkins and a bag of ice.”
When everyone runs to do what they’re told Jimin looks at Yunjin, “You and I are going to carry Hye out, alright?”
Yunjin nods in response causing Jimin to look down at Jihye, “Hi Jiji,” she says gently.
“Hi Min,” she attempts to smile at her sister, however the multiple wounds on her face sting when she tries.
“This is gonna suck, but I’m gonna need you to sit up.”
Jihye groans softly before lightly nodding, she feels the two girls put their hands under her back.
“Take all the time you need,” Yunjin tells her.
Taking in a deep breath she begins to lift herself up, letting out small sobs as she does.
Once she’s in a sitting position the two girls give her a moment before wrapping an arm around both of their necks.
When they stand Jihye lets her body become deadweight, exhaustion hitting her hard.
As they begin to walk, Jihye sees a familiar pair of shoes which causes her to slightly squeeze on both girls hands.
The two girls helping her stop in confusion, “What’s wrong Hye,” Jimin asks.
Jihye looks up at Chaewon, her eyes shining with desperation as blood begins to drip on her hoodie, the one Chaewon had gotten her.
She really wanted Chaewon by her side, she needed the comfort only she could bring her, but when Chaewon finally makes eye contact with her, the first thing she does is step back, a look of disgust painting her face.
Jihye suddenly felt sick.
Not even now, as she stood in front of her, bleeding and needing others to help her walk, was it enough for Chaewon to not be embarrassed, no, ashamed, of her.
Jihye feels her eyes water, the pain her body is in pales in comparison to the pain the lump now stuck in her throat brings.
She let her head hang, she didn’t want to see the moment where Chaewon realized her father was right, Jihye was below her.
“For fucks sake,” she hears Yunjin whisper near her ear.
“Let’s go Jihye, let's not waste any more time,” Jimin says this time, hatred now painting her voice.
Jihye doesn’t say anything while they drag her out.
Once they are outside Jihye immediately winces as the night air hits her, the spring heat making it muggy and heavy, it makes her feel like she's suffocating.
“Can we just sit down for a second,” Jihye croaks out, the sob still stuck in her throat.
“We’re almost to the car,” Jimin says back to her.
“Please.”
Hearing the desperation Jimin nods and leads Jihye to the curb where they sit her down.
The two girls sit next to her, silence falling between them.
They’re disrupted when they hear shoes on the pavement of the driveway, both stiffening defensively as they turn to see who it is.
“I got the stuff,” Kazuha breathes out clearly winded.
She kneels in front of Jihye without having to be told, she hands Yunjin the ice pack as she begins to slowly clean the blood off her face.
Jimin stands to look at the second person, “What are you doing out here?”
Yizhuo is thrown off by the harsh tone, “When I came back from the balcony you were gone, when I asked they said there had been a fight. That's when I saw Kazuha and just followed her.”
“You shouldn’t have,” Jimin simply tells her.
Yizhuo’s eyebrows furrow, “Are you mad at me?”
“Should I be?”
“I don’t think so.”
Jimin just sighs, “Yizhuo, let's end this.”
Yunjin’s gasp immediately draws their attention, causing her to swiftly apologize.
Yizhuo grabs Jimin hand and pulls her away, when they are a bit further from the three Jimin pulls her hand away.
“What do you mean Jimin?”
Yizhuo watches as Jimin sighs, each second that passes feels like she’s being stabbed.
“I’m saying we should break up.”
“Why?”
Jimin scoffs, “Look what happened when one of us stepped over the line you and your friends created,” Jimin says pointing towards Jihye, who was very clearly out of it, before she continues, “You and your friends are all the same, cowards. In private you pretend there is no difference between us, but in public you guys act like we’re disgusting for existing.”
But before Yizhuo can defend herself they’re interrupted by Kazuha yelling Jihye’s name.
Jimin immediately turns around to find Jihye now laying on the ground, passed out.
They both run back to the girl, “What happened,” Jimin exclaims.
“She said she was dizzy and then she fainted,” Kazuha explains.
“Yunjin help me pick her up, we gotta get her to the hospital.”
Yunjin and Jimin immediately pick her up, Kazuha following behind them.
When they get to the car Yujin is already in the backseat, Kazuha quickly slides in next to her, then Yunjin after making sure Jihye was stable in Jimin’s arm.
Once she’s in she stretches out her arms to motion for Jimin to give her Jihye, when she grabs her she pulls her in and lays her across their laps, Kazuha hands Yujin the wet rag so she could wipe Jihye’s face.
Jimin gets in the driver seat once she's sure the girls have a stable hold on Jihye, but before she can close the door Yizhuo holds it open, “Let me come with you.”
Jimin just shakes her head, “Let go Yizhuo.”
“Please.”
But before Jimin can refuse once more they hear the passenger door open, looking over they see Yuna.
Leaning over the center console Yuna speaks to Yizhuo, “If you don’t mind we kind of have an emergency.”
Yizhuo backs up, her eyes now watering as the door closes.
She makes eye contact with Jimin one last time as they pull away from the house. Another car, who Yizhuo can only assume was Yeji, following them.
Once their cars are out of sight Yizhuo drops to the ground, her legs no longer working, and breaks into sobs.
Parties were no foreign concept to Chaewon, if anything she flourished in them. They came with the territory of being popular, Chaewon had been to so many she adopted a habit when at one, counting the amount of droplets that would fall from someone’s cup and seeing how long it would take to disappear.
It started off as a way to ease her nauseous and dizzy mind when she was terribly drunk, Yizhuo suggesting it, but as she found herself at another party every other weekend she would do it to pass time.
Maybe that’s why now, as she’s sitting on the couch her friends dragged her to, she finds herself waiting for Jihye’s blood to dry up on the ground.
It makes her feel nauseous as each second passes by, her friends droning on about “how crazy Yena is” not helping her racing mind.
Everytime she would close her eyes to rid herself of the nausea she would keep seeing the look on Jihye’s face when she stepped back.
A shadow appears in front of her saving her from her spiraling mind. She looks up and sees Yizhuo staring down at her, eyes glossy and red.
She quickly stands up, “What’s wrong?”
Her eyebrows furrow when her back hits the couch again, Yizhuo standing above her once more this time with a snarl.
Aeri immediately stands up, “What the fuck is your problem?”
Yizhuo moves her glare up to Aeri and pushes up against her, “You guys are.”
Minjeong immediately moves to push Yizhuo off of Aeri, but the anger must’ve made Yizhuo stronger as she didn’t even budge.
Aeri simply moves her face closer, “And what could you possibly mean by that?”
“Guys,” Wonyoung says, now also standing up, “Maybe we should bring this outside, everyone’s watching.”
When Chaewon looks up she sees people whispering and pointing at them, a sight she’s used to, only this time it makes her feel as though she’s burning.
Aeri’s the first to rip away and start heading outside, Minjeong follows behind her making sure to bump Yizhuo’s shoulder as she does. Yizhuo doesn’t bother looking at the other two as she follows shortly after, the look on her face deadly.
Chaewon flinches when she sees a hand in front of her, she grabs on when she recognizes the Cartier bracelet. Helping her up from the couch, Wonyoung offers her a small smile before heading outside.
It takes Chaewon a few breaths to get her legs moving, she avoids looking at the ground, refusing to look weak, even though all she wanted to do was sob as her life was beginning to break down around her.
When she steps out the house the tension makes the already heavy air feel heavier.
She walks down the stairs and steps in the space between the two groups, Aeri and Minjeong near the stairs and Yizhuo standing on the lawn, Wonyoung is off to the side clearly trying to ease her own anxiety.
“What’s the matter Yizhuo,” Chaewon says softly, though she was hurt that Yizhuo pushed her she was still her best friend.
Yizhuo didn’t seem to share the same sentiments.
“You guys are fucking cowards, thats what the matter is,” she exclaims at her.
Aeri immediately gets closer, “And what the fuck are you?”
Chaewon puts her hand up to get Aeri to stop, “Where is this coming from Ning?”
“You know exactly where or should I explain it to you and our friends?”
Chaewon blood goes cold at Yizhuo’s threat, “You wouldn’t.”
“I would.”
“What is she talking about Chaewon,” Minjeong asks.
“Nothing,” Chaewon says automatically.
Her answer makes Yizhuo scoff, “Typical,” she shakes her head, “I’m done. I refuse to lose Jimin because of you guys.”
“You’re leaving us for that fucking loser,” Aeri asks.
Yizhuo immediately steps up to Aeri, “Watch your fucking mouth.”
“Or what?”
“Enough,” Chaewon yells, her voice shaky, “Did you mean what you said Yizhuo?”
Not breaking eye contact with Aeri she answers, “Absolutely.”
“Then go.”
“Guys maybe we should talk about this,” Wonyoung finally says.
Ignoring her, Yizhuo turns around and walks away, leaving the other four behind, marking the end of their friendship.
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