Y’all want t’ hear a story? Gonna need a little lew-bree-cation for th’ ol’ processor, as it were, heh heh. Little more, it don’ pay t’ be stingy. Ahh, ‘s th’ righ’ stuff. Never met a bottle I didn’t like.
Now this’d be, oh, forty or so vorns ago. I’d jes’ finished up a sweet little mine on th’ seventh - or was it eighth? - planet in a medium size system with a round dozen planet-type things in it. The mine’d had some real high-qual’ty crystals an’ whenI got ‘em refined, whew - I was in a mood t’ have me a time!
I hopped in ol’ Bessie and we made our way t’ the fifth planet from the orange star at th’ cenner. Nice buncha folk lived there - jes’ startin’ t’ take a look-see ‘round through their own sol’r system an’ real welcomin’ to off-worlders.
I settle m’self down th’ local waterin’ hole and hoo boy do the party come into swing! Drinkin’ an dancin’ an’ all manner a carryin-on. Party went on f’r days and seem like to go on through weeks when the Biggun stepped in.
The Biggun were almost twice the size o’ the usual nateev an’ they weren’t too keen on no off-worlder takin’ their spotlight, no siree! Why, they just come inside and clunged one round m’helm.
I ain’t no soft-hull, but th’ blow sure as sure rang my bell! I come up spittin’ broken denta an’ th’ fight were on!
F’r three days and three nights we done fought all over that bar. Ain’t either one o’ us as could get a finish on th’ other. Finally, I rang their bell and time seemed t’ stop. They jes’ blinked while ever’one else jes’ held their breath. Finally, they went on down like a poleaxed steer.
Las’ thing I ‘member from th’ planet is them cheerin’ and cheerin’ and cheerin’ like there weren’t gonna be no termorrow. Next thin I knows I’m on Bessie headed out yonder for a debris field ‘round a little blue pulsar.
Never did find the rest of my dentae.
