Special thanks to:
@multimuseticles for hosting and running this swimsuit thing.
Blogs mentioned in the articles:
Flandre Defeats Yuuma:
@alchemistdetective (Flandre)
@gensokyogarden (Yuuma)
Kagome's Fairy Repellent
@thehoefam
//I may or may not end up doing a follow up proper issue to this. Will depend on how much time I have this week. I'd certainly like to reawaken this blog. Feel kind of bad about this one being a rush job, the image alignments aren't perfect, and I didn't have time to properly transparency the pictures to get that newsprint effect. But I didn't want to let perfection be the enemy of completion, so went with what I could do.
Though that’s mostly because I no longer have the time to RP on here. This isn’t the “I’m leaving post”, no… I’m not the sort of class act that has the self awareness to make one of those. Also, I still intend to be around to throw Nue in ask form at you lot from time to time. But at least for the foreseeable future, I probably won’t be actively RPing here. When I do post, I’ll likely be posting about my D&D shenanigans as that’s what’s taken the time I once used to RP.
I haven’t lost the muse for Nue though, not by a long shot, so I may yet return to full RPing. Whether or not that’s on Tumblr, Twitter, or elsewhere, depends entirely on where the fandom is at the time.
I might also return to the blog I’m about to mention below… it’s lower time commitment overall than RPing proper.
Now then, the interesting part.
Since I’m basically putting Nue on a proper hiatus, rather than the so called “semi-hiatus” that I’ve claimed to be on for awhile. There’s no point in keeping her “active” schemes a secret at this point is there. Though, really, given that I haven’t been active or relivent in the Touhou RP community for some time, I think it’s probably a little vain of me to think of them as “active”, and yet more vain for me to assume anyone will care at this point :P. But for Vanity sake, here they are none the less.
Nue, and thus I am behind @trustworthyreporter. The original intent of that blog was to use it to create chaos in the Touhou RP community in true Nue fashion, all the while sending out asks that could potentially create RP threads for people. That’s why it had a mild pro-Buddhist bias (except when Nue was feuding with Byakuren). Hell, I even had Nue outright admit what she was up to on more than a few occasions (My personal favourite).
But then it started getting more of a following than this one, most of which was personal blogs and I didn’t know what to do with it… so I just ran with it. Then I got distracted by D&D, and sort of let the blog die. Though I would like to revive it as a proper blog at some point.
Anyhow, I intend to reblog this over on Aya, just so the horrifying number of people who follow it know where she’s run off to. XD.
Special thanks to:
@reverberatingfantasies & @asknueidentified for giving me something to really work on layout wise.
@scarletvampireofchaos for submitting a gest article
Blogs mentioned in the asks:
@freshholeinthewall, @lightyokai, @itspurvis, @digitalyokai,
Text versions with links after the readmore:
Rabid Rabbit Rampage
After the introduction of the spell card rules youkai on youkai violence in Gensokyo has become somewhat of a rarity. This relative peace was shattered recently when Eintei resident Reisen Udongein Inaba started violently attacking humans and youkai alike for no apparent reason.
As of press time, neither the human village nor Eientei were willing to confirm casualty numbers. However, several eye witness reports of the level of violence mean that there likely would be several major injuries at minimum.
Under house arrest
For their part, Eientei has put Reisen under house arrest until the true cause of her madness can be determined. When questioned about the event, Kaguya Houraisan claimed to have no knowledge about what the cause might be, expressing great frustration saying: “That’s what I’d like to know! I don’t know what’s gotten into her, but she just flew off the handle apparently!”
When asked about the “Eirin’s shady drug” conspiracy that inevitably has come up, she dismissed it out of hand in the fashion such conspiracies deserve saying, “No, that can’t be it. She’s always seemed normal, and I don’t think Eirin’s medicines have those kinds of side effects anyway.” Further she also had Eientei’s resident pharmacist check the inventory of medications, all of which were accounted for, ruling out drugs as the cause of Reisen’s behavior.
Kaguya herself then began speculating, wondering allowed if Reisen had been “possessed”. Though at this time there is no evidence to support that.
Possible sleeper agent
Reisen’s outburst comes at a poor time for Eientei. Reisen herself is a refugee from the Lunarian kingdom on the moon. After fleeing to Gensokyo she managed to claim asylum in Eientei with the exiled princes of that same kingdom.
The Lunarian’s recent near invasion of Gensokyo has already put many on edge; despite The Hakurei shrine’s successful diplomacy mission resolving the conflict. This tension has lead many to openly wonder if Reisen wasn’t sent as a sleeper agent. Some have even gone so far to claim that Eientei is a forward base for a future invasion.
When asked for comment on the anti-lunarian fears, Kaguya said that:
“I understand their worries about what the Moon may do… I share in those fears myself. But the Earth is my home now, and I would very much like to protect it just as much as anyone else here. Our rabbit going mad was an isolated incident, and she will be properly disciplined for it.”
Dream copy
Reisen herself pleaded her innocence claiming that it wasn’t her, that it was instead a “Dream Version of herself”. Reisen did admit that she did not have proof, but claimed that a “Doremy” could vouch for her story and pleaded with the Bunbunmaru to track this woman down to help exonerate her.
Although difficult to track down, the Bunbunmaru did manage to get a brief interview with Doremy who did vouch for Reisen’s story. Going on further to explain that dream selves were indeed a thing that exist, as an exaggerated version of a person. She claimed to know this by virtue of being the ruler of the dream world though she did not provide anything further to back up that claim.
The Bunbunmaru reached out to Yuuka Kazami who was once a resident of the dream world to ask for her comment on “Dream copies” and Doremy’s true identity, though she did not respond by press time.
Battle Byakuren
Byakuren Hijiri, leader of Myouren Buddhist temple has confirmed recent rumors and announced the beginning of a battle festival of sorts. The festival will be held at the Myouren temple until the end of February in which anyone who wants to prove their strength outside of the spellcard rules can participate. Byakuren herself offered to take all challengers. Of course, those wishing to only watch are welcome as well.
Proof of strength
When asked for the reason for the festival Byakuren said that
“It was brought to my attention by Nue that most see us as peacemakers from our weakness. I’m aiming to use this as a display of our knowledge on warfare and our proficiency in combat. That way, they can see that even the strong can choose to avoid conflict while seeking resolutions.“
Byakuren was likely referring to the temple’s stance on youkai/human peace.
Interest building
Interest in the fights have been rapidly growing in among both youkai and the human village. Even Gensokyo’s more prominent citizens are starting to take notice. Remilia Scarlet of the Scarlet Devil Mansion offered up her comment that she’d:
“I would like to battle someone by leaving the Spell Card rules and Danmaku aside, without restraint”
Even the surly Rinnosuke Morichika is planning to set up a refreshment stand to sell to the participants and spectators.
Big faith hurting smaller gods
The Moyria shrine, the Myouren temple, the Taoists, and of course the Hakurei shrine. Gensokyo has many major big name religions for humans and youkai alike to give their faith to. While the Hakurei shrine has been here for a long time, the others are relative new comers as you are no doubt aware dearest reader.
Each one of these new big faiths caused it’s own problems when they arrived. Kanako of the Moryia shrine nearly caused Gensokyo to be blown up by her reckless gifts to Utsuho Reiuji. The Myouren temple caused much panic with their reckless search for Byakuren Hijiri. The Taoists nearly started a civil war with their anti youkai rhetoric. All of these incidents were put down by Reimu Hakurei, as she always does.
But there is a lingering problem these new big faiths are causing that falls below the level of Hakurei involvement.
If you were not aware dearest reader, most native gods need faith for more than just growing more powerful, they need it to live. Should a goddess go for a prolonged period without sufficient faith they will eventually die. With the influx of new bigger faiths, many small local goddesses have found it hard to compete for market share.
One such minor goddess is Minoriko Aki of the human village. As a harvest goddess Minoriko was once invited to a ceremony in her honor every autumn. In that ceremony Minoriko would receive more than enough faith, and in return would bless the human village’s harvest, ensuring enough food for the humans, and through them for the youkai.
But now, much of the village has turned away from Minoriko, instead preferring to rely on the more generic “miracles” of the Moryia shrine that don’t require elaborate celebrations to confirm.
You might, dearest reader, call this just the natural progression of faith, as new stronger gods replace old weak ones. And in a way you would be right, dearest reader. But in the opinion of yours truly there is something more important being lost here. Gensokyo was created as a land for those that had nowhere else to go as the outside world no longer needed us. If we allow goddesses like Minoriko to disappear the same way, how can we say we deserve to continue living in this land?
So next time you’re enjoying your sake, or a peach, say a prayer in thanks to Minoriko dearest reader.
The Scarlet Devil mansions labor troubles have continued to get worse. The ongoing fairy maid strike has turned into an outright mass resignation of much of Remilia Scarlet’s household staff following a large Danmaku battle between the leadership of the strike and Remilia herself.
When asked for comment Remilia would only confirm that the fairies have left her employ and that the Danmaku fight happened. While it is not out of the ordinary for Remilia to refuse questioning about the mansions internal affairs the fairies have proven equally tight lipped about the events of the strike and subsequent mass resignation. When asked about the causes of the strike, Rosemary the former leader of the striking fairies refused to answer any questions telling yours-truly to “Sod off”.
It is still unclear what exactly caused the strike to progress in such a way. The initial strike reputedly started due to poor pay and working conditions in the mansion, although recent information has called the veracity of that into question.
Several rumors have been circulating within the communities that the fairies have since settled into that the strike was in part caused by Remilia being a heavy chain smoker. While it is unknown exactly what effect if any second-hand smoke would have on fairy immortality, large amounts of smoke can’t be pleasant in their work environment.
Another such rumor is that Remilia was into various perverted things. When further questioned about the rumors, the fairies questioned would only confirm the rumors and that it was in someway related to the causes of the strike but would not elaborate further.
Possible coup attempt by Flandre Scarlet
Most of the fairies left to find employment elsewhere in Gensokyo or returned to the forest of magic. However, many were rehired by Remilia’s younger sister Flandre to work in the library. Most notably Cherry who prior to the strike was one of the leaders of the fairies has been retained by Flandre as a personal attendant. When asked for comment, Cherry would only confirm that she was now working for Flandre and not Remilia.
That Flandre now controls the bulk of the remaining staff of the mansion combined with the lack of willingness of any party to speak to the Bunbunmaru has lead some to speculate that this was a silent coup executed by Flandre to seize power over the mansion from her older sister. Leaving Remilia mistress in name only. Flandre may have arranged the strike through fairies loyal to her to force her sister’s hand and cause the mass resignation. Leaving behind only the fairies personally loyal to Flandre.
Unfortunately, the notoriously reclusive Flandre could not be reached for comment by press time.
Ongoing financial troubles
The mansion’s finances are said to have been in a crisis for some time now. Remilia’s most recent attempt to solve this issue by building and opening a water park appears to have been reasonably successful. Despite problems with someone managing to poison the water supply, attendance numbers remained high throughout the summer.
It is unknown as to how much this has helped the mansion’s alleged financial problems. If the problems are still severe, it is possible that the motivation behind Flandre’s coup was to do with Remilia’s mismanagement of mansion finances.
Hot-spring to be renovated
The mountain hot spring near the Moryia shrine is getting remodelled soon. Sources close to the issue say that several cosmetic updates and changes are being planned; notably the removal of the divider between the men’s and women’s side. This effort to repair and remodel the hot spring is being championed by local merchant Rinnosuke Morichika.
Rinnosuke has taken on the care and maintenance of the hot spring in recent months as the Moyria shrine has proven either unwilling or unable to do so themselves. According to Rinnosuke this is because he was asked to clean up the women’s side that had become unacceptably dirty. He is currently drafting plans to overhaul the entire thing and is looking for volunteers to help with the labor.
Divider likely to be removed
The most notable change that is planned for the hot spring is the removal of the divider between the men’s and women’s side. Rinnosuke himself has come out as the sole voice against the idea, others have spoken in favor of the plan.
Removing the divider would bring the bath house’s design more in line with modern ideas from the outside world. The bath house’s guests are mostly female; removing the barrier would also increase the amount of space available to them.
Rumors of scandals
Removing the divider may also reduce the scandalous rumors around the bath house. One such unconfirmed rumor is that Tenshi Hinanawi was seen going into the men’s side. She was allegedly overheard saying “Who needs personal space? Not I. Not you.” in a flirtish voice. Although that rumor is unconfirmed, the fact it’s plausible at all shows how hiding the relatively unused men’s side behind a barrier can lead to such rumors.
Halloween: What even is it?
Halloween is upon us dearest reader! It comes on the 31st of the month every year and brings candy and fear for all.
Don’t know what it is dearest reader? You are not alone, much of Gensokyo is in the dark about what Halloween is. Please allow yours truly to help!
Halloween is a holiday that comes around every year on the last day of October. According to experts it’s a day when mystical boundaries are unusually thin. If you have a spell or other mystical thing you want to do dearest reader, Halloween would be the night to do it.
Further, Halloween has a tradition where youkai go door to door in the village receiving offerings of candy and baked goods, if some unfortunate human does not have any to offer, the youkai can do what they want to the human in retaliation.
Yours truly would like to remind you dearest reader that as nice as the thought of attacking humans in the village might be we still need them, so don’t eat too many.
Some youkai like the darkness youkai Rumia are planning to take full advantage of this years Halloween. When asked what her plans are she said that she’s planning to go to the village in disguise. Not a bad idea if, I think yours truly might have to do that as well.
When asked for her plans, Kaguya Houraisan seemed to be a bit confused about the point. Thinking that the point of Halloween was to deliver candy. Although, she isn’t a youkai or human, so maybe that’s normal?
Chen who you might remember dearest reader is one of Yukari’s many servants expressed regret at missing last years Halloween but didn’t have any specific plans.
Not everyone is getting into the Halloween mood this year, however. When asked about her plans, Flandre Scarlet of the Scarlet Devil Mansion said she didn’t feel that Halloween felt “real”. I think she’s just tired after her coup against her sister.
Whatever your plans are dearest reader, have fun!
Rumor Mill
Yes dearest reader, it is time to give you a quick rundown of all of the celebrity gossip that’s been swirling around lately; and then because the Bunbunmaru isn’t a tabloid, yours truly will give you the missing piece of context that explains the rumor.
-Reimu Hakurei was spotted kissing Chen Yakumo recently. It turns out that a badly loaded “instruction” given to Chen caused her to have a compulsion to do so. It’s unknown if this has something to do with her nature as a Shikigami.
-Iku Nagae and Rinnosuke Morichika were spotted together in the men’s side of the hot spring’s bath house. Technically true, there was nothing untoward going on, however. The women’s side was filthy at the time. She wasn’t the only one doing so, Yukari and fellow tengu Otoha were also spotted there.
-Alice Margitroid is a necromancer. This one’s false. Reports were that she resurrected a crow, in truth she was simply building a crow shaped doll.
Betteridge's law would say of course not, but that wouldn’t sell as many papers.
Goddesses are not well loved by youkai and with good reason. Although there are exceptions like the ever popular Shinki, known for her staunch pro-youkai policies. Recent events have thrown youkai turned goddess Satori Komeiji’s loyalties into question, but all may not be as it initially appears.
Satori’s recent intervention protecting a human child lost in the underground has caused much concern in the underground. Many of the undergrounds residents are questioning if Satori’s loyalties are still with them after her ascension to goddesshood. To make maters worse for Satori, unconfirmed reports from Chireden indicate that Satori has even started withholding food from her sister. She’s even been sighted attacking Nue Houjuu from the Buddhist temple on the surface.
On the surface of things, it would seem that Satori has turned anti-youkai and pro-human as is quite common with newly formed goddesses. However, upon further investigation, yours truly has found evidence that may explain her actions and lend hope that she has not.
According to anonymous sources within Chireden Satori did not save the human child out of any desire to protect her, but rather that she wised to destroy the child far more than mere death would have. While it is not known exactly what Satori said to the child, the child was seen in such a state of abject fear and despair that she vomited. Few youkai can claim to reach that level of fear with a human so easily.
While this does not explain Satori’s other suspicious actions of starving her sister or attacking other youkai, it is possible that these are just a coincidence.
The Bunbunmaru will keep you updated.
Fairy maids on strike
The ongoing labor disputes at the Scarlet Devil Mansion came to a head recently. No longer content to grumble the fairies of the mansion have gotten together to protest for better treatment. As things in Gensokyo so often do, this quickly erupted into a Danmaku battle.
Fairies demand better work conditions, more booze
Most labor disputes revolve around money, however as fairies don’t have an idea how money works, this one revolves around booze and beatings. First and formost the fairies are demanding an increase in the amount of alcohol that Remilia contributes to the “great fairy stash” (the name the fairies have given their communal alcohol supply). The fairies claim that in recent weeks the stash’s size has been decreasing as more fairies are hired on with the Scarlet Devil Mansion and that Remilia has not increased her contributions to match the increased staff.
In addition to the “wage” concerns, the fairies also claim that they receive an excessive number of beatings at the hands of the head maid as a form of discipline. They further demand that Remilia reduce physical punishment to only serious infractions.
Negotiations turn to danmaku
The fairy negotiator Salty, was sent across the picket lines to negotiate with Remilia. The negotiations quickly devolved into a danmaku battle. The result of this battle is still unknown as both sides have chosen to keep quiet about it at this time.
Tanning craze sweeping Gensokyo
As you’ve no doubt noticed, dearest reader, a brand-new fashion trend is sweeping across Gensokyo. The tanned look has become all the rage. It started with the Ice-fairy Cirno’s fresh look and grew from there.
When asked how she came up with the idea for the new style Cirno said that she “just thought it looked cute!”
She further claimed that the tan is real. But would not elaborate on how a fairy managed to get a tan.
Like with any fashion craze, there are some who take it too far and go past tan and into sunburn., so please be careful!
Fairy licking good?
Fairy dust is a well-known component in many spells. Most commonly it is acquired by attacking and killing one or more fairies. However, a recent discovery by Maribel Hearn, a human from the outside world has shown that it is possible that there may be a less violent way.
The method dearest reader? Licking fairies. While it may seem odd, initial reports indicate that fairy licking may be just as effective as the conventional collection of fairy dust. When asked what inspired her research into the field, Maribel responded that she “was just curious about something.” She followed up by saying that the research was still unconfirmed at this time.
Unconfirmed rumors say that the Volie library under the Scarlet Devil Mansion is already working on such experiments.
Fairy licking craze
The word of the possible effectiveness of fairy licking has started a craze of people hunting and licking fairies. This of course has been met with some resistance among Gensokyo’s fairy population.
Follow up experiments
In order to better understand the possible effectiveness of fairy licking, Maribel Hearn managed to get herself turned into a fairy. She is now looking for volunteers to help in her experiments by licking her.
Remilia to open water park
Normal people take baths. But what do you do when you are the vampire mistress of a mansion? You build an entire water park.
Remilia Scarlet of the Scarlet Devil Mansion recently announced the completion of a new water park attraction. You might be asking dearest reader, if Remilia is attempting to compete with Yukari’s new beach, and you would be right! Even Remilia’s very press release acknowledges that! The water park features climatized pools, a hot tub, diving boards, water slides, and even a lazy river (no doubt at the suggestion of the legendarily lazy mage Patchouli Knowledge).
It may seem odd that a vampire like Remilia would choose to get involved with anything involving water. Remilia takes an unique perspective, that if she stays to the slower flowing areas she should be fine.
When questioned about the dubious safety record of the Scarlet Devil Mansion’s past projects, Remilia claimed that “safety is important, but we can use magic if injuries even happen.” Though this might not put some worries to ease, Remilia certainly seems to believe it should.
Scarlet Devil Mansion Income Problem
Unconfirmed rumors that the Scarlet Devil Mansion is facing a cash flow problem continue to swirl following reports of the SDMs moon landing program. Despite being a joint project between the SDM, Yukari Yakumo, and the Hakurei shrine, very little is known about this project or it’s success. Though any project that requires the cooperation of three of Gensokyo’s most powerful groups cannot be cheap. These rumors have intensified in recent weeks with word labour issues among the staff of the SDM.
Remilia’s claim that the inspiration for the water park is a desire to compete with Yukari could be true. It is also possible that this is an effort to gain a more solid financial footing.
Traditionally the SDM does not comment on it’s finances, although Remilia did allude to it saying that she expects to at least recover the money spent constructing the park by the end of summer.
Disclaimer: The Scarlet Devil Mansion is currently running a front-page ad with the Bunbunmaru.
Gensokyo is no stranger to humans being brought here from the outside world, it’s a daily occurrence that at least a handful of humans get spirited away by youkai-sage Yukari Yakumo. Usually they are the useless and forgotten of society; the kind that the outside world won’t notice missing. Per Yukari the humans usually come from the same outside world as the mildly-famous outsider Renko Usami. A recent crop of humans has broken from this pattern however.
Recently, Yukari has brought in a crop of humans that are decidedly different from the usual fare. Rather than being useless and forgotten, many of these humans seem quite capable. They also come from versions of the outside world that are significantly more exotic then the one Gensokyo usually imports from. Yukari has confirmed that she is to blame for this recent odd crop, but remaining true to her youkai among youkai nature she has declined to say why.
Speculation as to why Yukari would take these actions has lead some to think that there may be a problem with the stability of Gensokyo’s food supply. It’s possible that something has happened in the outside world that has caused Yukari to need to look else where for Gensokyo’s food supply. There’s also the possibility that Yukari is simply bored and thought this might be fun.
Hakurei has not changed rules
Youkai readers are reminded that despite the sudden change in Yukari’s imports, the Hakurei shrine has not changed the rules regarding human hunting. They are only valid targets when outside the village or inside if you can avoid getting caught.
The Bunbunmaru will be following this story as it develops.
Satori accidentally gains divinity
What’s the most memorable mistake you ever made dearest reader? Did you accidently become a goddess? If not, then Satori Komeiji of Chireiden most likely has you beat.
Indeed, dearest reader rumor has it that Satori recently ascended to godhood while preparing breakfast in one of Chireiden’s many kitchens. There is yet no indication as to what triggered the change. The few people that have dared to ask the new goddess, have been met with rather un impressive answers.
Per Satori, “The combined faith in <her> is sufficient for it, apparently.”
Entry into crowded religion market
Satori’s divinity marks another entrant into the already crowded competition for Gensokyo’s faithful. Satori joins the ranks of other relative new comers such as the Moyria shrine, and Hinaism against the more established Hakurei and Buddhist faiths.
Traditionally goddesses in Gensokyo have only pursued the faith of the humans of the village. However, the increase in competition has caused some groups to go after alternate sources of faith. Most notably would be the Moryia shrine that has made several large inroads with the youkai of the mountain and the Buddhists that have done the same with the youkai of the area around the village.
It is still unknown how Satori plans to go after faith. Due to the accidental nature of her divinity it’s possible that she may not yet have a plan. Although in the opinion of yours truly, it would make the most sense to go after the residents of the underground first. The Oni are a largely untapped market per recent polling.
Other goddesses begin to take notice
Most of the divinities have yet to issue a formal comment on the issue. Many likely are waiting to see how Satori decides to conduct herself.
One however, the outer goddess Hecatia extended an offer of friendship to her newly formed peer. This has some observers worried as Hecatia’s intentions for Gensokyo have been historically questionable. A fact likely not lost on Satori given her diplomatic yet cold reaction to the gift.
Accidental nature questioned
Satori is the second youkai from the underground to attain divinity through questionable or non-traditional means. She is proceeded by the famous or infamous Utsuho Reiuji, a hell raven that managed to attain the power of the sun god Yatagarasu during the incident that lead to the creation of Moryia’s hot spring.
This has lead some observers to question the accidental nature of Satori’s ascension in lieu of the possibility that it’s part of a power play on the part of Chireiden to tip the balance of power against Gensokyo. Adding fuel to the speculation fire, there are unconfirmed reports that the shrine maiden of the Hakurei shrine has been to Chireiden; possibly out of the same concern for the balance of power.
The Hakurei shrine maiden is well known for her lack of tolerance with those that would threaten Gensokyo’s balance of power
Long lost brother
The Scarlet sisters Remilia and Flandre are some of Gensokyo’s most famous citizens but recent news has caused some to question if there might be a third Scarlet sibling. This news comes after several eye witness accounts of a guest at the Scarlet Devil Mansion that bore a striking resemblance to Remilia Scarlet.
SDM Refuses comment
When asked for comment on the matter our intrepid reporters were turned around at the gate without being given a reason. As of press time the SDM still has not issued a statement on the matter.
Remilia is well known for her open and charismatic nature. This sudden secrecy marks a drastic departure from her recent behavior. This has lead some observers to question if there might be more to the story than initially appears.
Possible connection to Flandre
This would not be the first time that Remilia has hid the existence of a family member. Up until the Scarlet mist incident broke, Remilia had kept her younger sister’s existence a secret from all Gensokyo. Purportedly out of fear that Flandre was a danger to the rest of Gensokyo. This may be a similar situation.
Double dealing ceremony
Sad news dearest reader! The much-anticipated double wedding of Parsee Mizuhashi to Sukuna Shinmyoumaru and Tenshi Hinanawi to Hina Kagiyama has been postponed indefinitely. This no doubt comes as a shock and disappointment to all those that were invited.
Possible repercussions
The Kagiyama/Hinanawi marriage was rumored to have been a political one to further improve relations between Gensokyo and the celestials after the unfortunate destruction of the Hakurei shrine at the hands of Tenshi herself. Experts on Celestial relations worry that if the wedding was authentic, it being called off or postponed may herald a worsening in the already strained relations.
Even if this is the case dearest reader, it is the opinion of yours truly that people should not marry for political gain! But for love!
Further complicating matters is Hina Kagiyama’s fast growing religious following. There was hope among the faithful that the marriage date would mark the first holiday that Hinaism could call truly its own.
Attendees disappointed
The wedding had been expected to be the scene to be seen at this season, with several of Gensokyo’s most famous going on record with their plans for the wedding. Alice Margitroid, the well-known puppeteer and rumored Makai princess even went so far as to sew a new dress. No doubt she will not be the only one disappointed by this news.
Invitations possibly faked
While it is still just a rumor at this point, there are indications that the entire wedding may have been a prank from the beginning. However as those involved did not respond to the request for comment from your truly by press time this can not be said for sure.
Showdown at the Gate:
@yuukakazami, @diaphanous-puppetry
Yakumo run catfighting ring?
@nekofantasia,
Living in Reimu’s shadow:
@sanaeofthewind
Human immigrant’s story:
@timestrandedodst
Blogs mentioned in the ads:
@fantasy-stars, @brighteyedmonsters
Text versions with links after the readmore:
Showdown at the gate
The sounds of fighting are nothing new to Gensokyo. However, an especially noisy fight last night awoke much of Gensokyo as two titans of battle clashed outside the scarlet devil mansion. First reports indicated that it may have been the younger of the two vampires residing in the mansion, but this was quickly shown to be false.
For reasons that are yet unknown, Yuuka Kazami and Meiling engaged in battle. The reasons the two choose to disregard the spell card rules and who the ultimate victor was is also unknown.
Area infront of SDM charred hellscape
The state of the area immediately in front of the scarlet devil mansion stands as a testament to the level of violence brought by the two combatants. Several small fires still burn among what little vegetation is left and the ground is littered with small craters and scorch marks.
The brutality of the combat did prove helpful in preventing the spared of the fire as much of the grass that otherwise could have caught fire is covered in dirt thrown up by the force of combat.
Still no word of Hakurei involvement
The Hakurei shrine has remained quiet thus far, avoiding commenting on this blatant disregard for the spell card system. Some have speculated on if this might signal a new approach from Reimu Hakurei and a listening of the rules around physical combat.
Yakumo run catfighting ring?
Rumors persists around the idea of an underground catfighting ring ran by youkai sage of Gensokyo Yukari Yakumo. When asked for comment Yukari would only say “No, nope, no, there is no cat fighting ring.”
However, despite her denial, several anonymous sources have come forward and contacted the Bunbunmaru. While these sources were unwilling to provide an exact location, they did provide a photo used to promote the fights and draw in bets.
As the promotional photo is no doubt of Yukari’s own Chen, we decided to ask Chen herself for comment. Chen seemed somewhat confused by the whole ordeal and only saying “It’s…Very unusual… …But hey, no holding back…”
Possible violation of the spell card rules?
It remains unclear as to why Yukari would hide the existence of this catfighting ring. Some have speculated that the existence of the ring may be in technical violation of the spell card rules set out and enforced by Reimu Hakurei. Yukari may be trying to avoid drawing the ire of the Hakurei shrine.
Living in Reimu’s shadow:
What better way to start off interviewing important humans than to start with Reimu’s very own backup shrine maiden? You may, dearest reader, know of Sanae Kochiya of the Moryia shrine for her staunch anti-youkai pro-extermination reputation. However it would seem that such beliefs may just be a front for her insecurity from living in Reimu’s shadow.
Bunbunmaru: What's it like being the back up shrine maiden to Reimu? Is it alot of responsibility?
Sanae Kochiya: Being a shrine maiden is huuuge responsibility! I’m no back up shrine maiden.
BBM: How often do you try and solve incidents without Reimu?
SK: Oh, we have plenty of minor incidents around here! Once, we had a kappa who was stealing from the bags of travelers
BBM: What about rumors that you’re secretly trying to replace her?
SK: Why would I do that, anyway? She’s so fun!
BBM: What do you mean by Reimu being fun?
SK: She can be lazy, but her heart is in the right place. She’s shown up for every big incident and well, she’s more merciful than I could ever be.
BBM: More merciful? That's interesting to hear! She has a reputation for being somewhat moody and temperamental among youkai.
SK: It’s hard to describe, really. But people tend to be different in different circumstances. She does sit down with perpetrators after incidents, too. Working with her did allow me to see her at her best! I regularly stop by her shrine after doing incident patrols!
BBM: What are your thoughts on Youkai eating humans?
SK: It’s gross, disgusting! Can’t they eat something else? I mean… well.. that didn’t happen where I was from! I can’t get used to that!
BBM: Do you worry your reputation for being pro extermination might hurt your popularity?
SK: …yeah. I’m kinda scared people see me as a monster…
BBM: Are you worried about the other religions cutting into your faith share?
SK: Of course I worry, but Buddhism has existed alongside Shinto for centuries. Gensokyo’s kind of a weird situation, but I’m still, the same rules could apply! But Taoism might keep me up at night
Human immigrant’s story
Yukari is known for bringing a wide variety of humans into Gensokyo Most end up dead within a week from various causes. However, one managed to not only survive but thrive. Even finding employment under the youkai sage herself. Yours truly sat down to hear this anomaly’s story nearly a year ago, but the demands of current events pushed this story back until now. What follows is story in his own words:
I didn’t come here of my own free will. No, I didn’t fall through one of Yukari’s gaps. Why would she abduct a soldier from a battlefield five centuries in the Future? The event that sent me and other things from my time 5 centuries from the future to this one also sent me here. I’ve survived for as long as I have, it’s because I’m employed by Yukari. Currently my duties are conducting Border patrols, confiscating Technologies from my time, combat any alien forces from my time that may show up here. Mind you that’s happened a couple of times already. Lastly…. well… I’m not really allowed to tell you what my last duty is… All I can tell you is that Rule Breakers will be dealt with accordingly.
As for the Human village, I don’t live there so I can’t give you that much of an opinion. What I can give though is this, those blokes don’t know how good they got it. They also don’t know what kind of danger lurks out there, and they think Youkai are bad? Then they’ve never seen what the Covenant can do. They wouldn’t stand a chance if even a couple of dozens of those Genocidal Aliens attacked. As for the Outside world… well that depends on which time you’re asking about. This one currently or the one I came from originally? If it’s the former, then it’s not very impressive to me because of how archaic everything out there is to a man from my time. If it’s the latter…. here is certainly better. Five billion people aren’t dead and the world itself isn’t being burned to cinder and glass by a collective horde of Religious Alien Zealots from orbit and fighting that’d overshadow practically every mythical battle
Christmas not ruined:
@thathermitwiththehairpin, @crackedgates
Full text after the read more:
Christmas NOT ruined
It’s something of a twisted Gensokyo tradition. Every year Seiga Kaku travels around Gensokyo stealing the gifts from those foolish enough to to leave decoy gifts out fore her.
That was the leading paragraph of last year’s Christmas day paper. It seems, dearest reader, that Seiga is taking this year off. As people around Gensokyo are waking up to actually having their gifts, decoy gifts and all.
This has left many wondering what has changed. Current speculation favors her simply sleeping in after a late night with Toyotomi no Miko. Of course, dearest reader this means that she may yet show up to steal everyone’s Christmas!
Just in case, make sure you’re prepared for her visit anyway
Seiga prefers small shiny objects. Leave a few somewhere obvious.
She has an aversion to doors preferring to use her hairpin to enter through large flat walls. Put your decoy gifts near to such walls.
Do not attempt to clutter all walls to prevent her entry. This will just annoy her.
Her pet Jiang Shi likes meat. Leaving small bite sized cuts of meat out may distract Seiga from the gifts.
Rumor of Kagiyama-Yakumo engagement false:
@queen-of-spinspin, @indigokitsune
Interview with Kaguya Houraisan:
@imperishableprincess
Daitengu Yamanushi supports Fire Movement
@randomtengureporter, @the-old-tengu, @madharemuses, @mountainstelegnosis
“I don’t tell her I eat people”:
@love-coloured-witch
Blogs mentioned in the “ads”:
@mountainstelegnosis, @love-coloured-witch
Full text and links behind the break:
“Just friends”
Rumor of Kagiyama-Yakumo engagement false
Nothing annoys a good reporter more than misinformation, dearest reader! Especially when it is harmful to people’s reputations!
There is a rumor going around that the mountain’s curse goddess Hina Kagiyama and Ran Yakumo are dating or even engaged!
Yours truly would be the first to admit that they would make a lovely couple! But it is not so! They are just friends!
When asked about it, Hina, who was visibly annoyed would only respond that they are “just friends”. Likewise, the ever concise Ran simply replied “No, we are not.” When asked about the truth to the rumors.
Kitsune flirtations to blame?
While the exact source of the rumor is unclear, it is possible the recent sightings of Ran acting flirty around Hina may have caused or be adding fuel to the fire.
However, yours truly would point out that Ran has been known to be flirty around almost everyone.
This misunderstanding just goes to show how damaging gossip can be!
Possible slander campaign?
Hina’s annoyance with this rumor is very understandable dearest reader. As it might be an attempt at weakening her following.
As you have no doubt read in past issues of this very paper, Hina has taken to starting a faith around her and gathering followers.
Recent polling has shown that the impressive growth that Hinaism has enjoyed has come largely at the expense of the Taoists.
While there is no confirmation or evidence as of yet, could this be a plot to bring down Hinaism?
Yukari Yakumo and by extension Ran Yakumo are not well loved by the human village, which is where most of Hina’s followers live. It is possible that this rumor continues to spread as a way of trying to make her followers question her loyalty to them.
“Impure beings crawling upon a land of sin…
...it’s what makes them so fun.”
Kaguya Houraisan talks love, philosophy and immortal life
Being best known for being as beautiful as she is impossible to please, Kaguya Houraisan is a rare sight outside of her forest of the lost compound in Eintei. She agreed to sit down for an interview with yours truly on topics of love and philosophy.
Bunbunmaru: First, everyone wants to know. What kind of persona are you looking for? Something serious or a fling?
Kaguya Houraisan: If you must know, I’m just having some harmless fun. Keep off my eternal boredom for a while.
BBM: Is that why you have fights with Mokou?
KH: My fights with Moukou are entertaining, they have been for the past three hundred years, but I will admit that doing only that can become boring as well. If I have the opportunity to have some fleeting form of entertainment in other ways, can you blame me for taking them?
BBM: Is it your immortality that makes you that bored?
KH: Yes, immortality can cause one to become incredibly bored.
BBM: How often do you get hit on as a result?
KH: Not often. Considering I don’t leave my home very much… but that is for the best no? Better to not have to embarrass anyone else with my impossible requests.
BBM: Are your requests actually impossible?
KH: As a dear friend once told me: “With enough time and effort put in the equation, even a nigh impossibility becomes certainty” and well, they do have plenty of time don’t they?
BBM: Is that Eirin you’re talking about? Rumor has it that Toyohime has a massive crush on her.
KH: Wouldn’t that be amusing if it were true, be sure to tell me if it turns out to be correct.
BBM: No comment then? How about a more serious topic. What are your thoughts on the struggles between humans and youkai?
KH: They are so… interesting to me. Humans fear youkai, youkai treat humans as prey, yet even they hold fear for humans with enough power to stand against them. They are in a constant struggle against one another, acting as if they are completely different from one another. Yet to the eye’s of a Lunarian they are essentially the same. Impure beings crawling upon a land of sin. They are both such emotional creatures, living their lives wrapped in such passion. Almost like two sides of the same coin no?
KH: Youkai, Human, in the end they are both creatures who crawl upon this impure Earth, living their lives to the best of their ability. Not that I mind… that’s what makes them so FUN.
KH: Ah I think I got sidetracked there.
BBM: Interesting perspective. What about the battles between faiths?
KH: I feel much the same of the different faiths as well. I care not for any one in particular, and in many regards they are all the same to me so I hold no real preference. The battles between them though are incredibly entertaining to watch however.
BBM: Odd to hear those words used as complements. Does that come from your perspective as an immortal? You are older than most youkai, does that change how you see things?
KH: It does not change my opinions much, but I most admit it certainly is easier for me to befriend youkai than a human, if only because of long life spans.
BB: What about humans? Do you see them as having any meaning? Or do they die before you can even get to know them?
KH: I suppose even though humans themselves are short lived, they as a species are able to accomplish some absolutely incredible things. They are capable of as much good and they are of bad, and watching them in the perspective of a whole as opposed to individual pieces… it’s hard for me not to grow to almost admire them in a way. Perhaps they simply have no meaning but what that which they choose to give themselves, but that in itself is incredible in a way don’t you think? They each live their life, a small piece of a large whole, each affecting one another even if only in the smallest of ways, a small ripple that crosses the ocean. Its.. fascinating.
KH: I suppose the easiest way to put it is that, even if I will never be able to truly know a man, I have come to love mankind itself, and all the beautiful, terrible, exciting, things they are capable of.
Daitengu Yamanushi supports Fire Movement
The fire movement, which aims for equality between the crow and wolf tengu, continued its seemingly unstoppable build in momentum earlier last week as the leader of the fire movement Daichi Yutaamo succeeded in getting Daitengu Yamanushi to officially declare his support for the movement.
This marks the first time anyone of real authority has openly voiced their support for the movement.
When questioned about why he choose to throw his support behind the Fire Movement, Daitengu Yamanushi lauded the determination that Yutaamo held saying, “I decided his cause was worthy of my backing. After all, one stone is all it takes to cause a landslide.”
Wolf support lacking?
However, there may be a bigger problem to be tackled by Yutaamo. As the Fire Movement’s many vocal critics are quick to point out there is very little open support from wolves for the movement.
This had led to accusations from the more extreme opponents that Yutaamo was so unable to gather worthwhile stories that he decided to make one from nothing.
Fire Movement supporters claim that this lack of support may stem from fear of retribution.
When asked for comment most of the wolves we attempted to interview, refused to comment.
However, one Momiji Inubashiri was willing to speak to us on the record. Calling it a nuisance and saying that the old ways were worse.
Brief interview: Daichi Yutaamo
As you may have read, dearest reader, one Daichi Yutaamo managed to convince one of the Daitengu to openly support his fire movement.
Yours truly sat down with Daichi for a brief interview about this latest success and the movement at large.
Bunbunmaru: Is it true that you convinced Daitengu Kenmei to support your revolution?
Daichi Yutaamo: You heard right, Honored Yamanushi has accepted the Fire Movement and given it his personal endorsement.
BBM: How? Did it take much convincing?
DY: That was certainly more taxing than I’d expected. But nothing is too much to ask when equality is on the line. Now that he’s joined our cause I’m going to see to it that more Wolves join up and give their voice to the movement.
BBM: How ARE you planning on bringing the wolves on board?
DY: To start, I’m panning on hosting a rally, with free meat pies for all the Sentries. I’ll talk about how oppressed they have been and offer to help elevate their voice.
BBM: What about others from outside the mountain?
DY: What good would outsiders do? This is a purely Tengu matter.
“I don’t tell her I eat people”
It is a well known fact that there are many youkai who enjoy the taste of human flesh. Magician-turned-youkai Marisa Kirisame is no different.
Given her recent marriage to Reimu Hakurei this may lead some people to question how she gets away with.
It turns out it’s simple subterfuge. Marisa admitted that she doesn’t let Reimu know about her dietary habits, thus avoiding the problem all together.
Hakurei’s competency called into question
Reimu’s competency as a protector has been called into question by some prominent member's of the human community following this revelation. “Either she’s incompetent or she’s turning a blind eye. I don’t know which is worse.” Commented one human from the village who asked to remain unnamed.
The Hakurei shrine did not respond to our request for comment by press time.
Blogs mentioned in the “ads”:
@brighteyedmonsters/ @themonsterwithgreeneyes, @sophisticatedsuccubus
Full text and links behind the break:
Flowers everywhere
Flowers are a sure sign of the transition from spring to summer. This year things went a little differently then most dearest reader.
Over the past two weeks people all over the greater Gensokyo area have been waking up to find flowers in the oddest of places. Everywhere from cups of coffee to a weird outside world truck, even the underground reactor.
Most of the people who received flowers were pleasantly surprised. There are even reports the Suika Ibuki managed to find a way to get drunk out of the situation; as only an Oni can.
Business closures
Not everyone who received the flowers welcomed them however. Several local business had to close down to deal with problems associated with the flowers.
Mystia Lorelei, the owner of Gensokyo’s most popular lamprey stand had to close down her business for the day after the flowers contaminated her stock.
Even so, the ever optimistic Mystia responded “It’s still really pretty…” when asked for comment.
Other business owners were not quite so forgiving. When the flowers were revealed to have damaged the stock of Marisa Kirisame’s pawn shop, owner Marisa Kirisame swore an oath to “Destroy all [of the] pea-brained fairies.”
Even the usually unflappable Rinnosuke was at a loss for what to do with the flowers.
Hakurei shrine gains new garden
Unlike the disordered mess that most of the flowers have shown up, the Hakurei shrine got a neatly arranged new garden. This may indicate that the culprits have respect for Reimu Hakurei.
Fairies responsible
And who are those culprits dearest reader? The countless fairies of Gensokyo.
In a rare show of organization, fairies from all over Gensokyo have joined forces with the apparent goal of covering the land in flowers.
The reason the fairies chose to do this is still unclear. However, numerous reports say that the fairies have recently taken to singing about “Animal crackers” being in their soup.
The reason for this new song and it’s connection to the flowers is as of yet unknown. When asked about it, a group of fairies attempted to paint yours truly in bright colors.
“Taoism is just better because I say so” An interview with Toyosatomomi no Miko
Famous for her anti-youkai rhetoric and enigmatic personality, there is little doubt that Toyosatomomi no Miko is one of the movers and shakers of Gensokyo.
Leader of the Taoist faction and rumored letch, Miko agreed to sit down with yours truly for a brief interview.
Bunbunmaru: Why do you think Taoism is better?
Toyosatomomi no Miko: Taoism is just better because I says so.
BBM: Okay then. How is recruitment going? Last I checked the village was starting to favour Buddhism.
TM: My disciples are a ‘come as you please’ basis, I mean surely even you’ve realized I don’t mind sharing my teachings but I don’t run out of my way for everyone. Just specifics, Like Marisa. So no, no plans to catch up. Unless it proves fun to compete.
BBM: What about youkai followers? Do you really seek the extermination of all youkai?
TM: I don’t really want the extermination of all youkai at all. But I also don’t favor them more than humans unlikes others would. I mean if I wanted to exterminate all youkai would I really be so fatherly to my dear Kokoro?
For youkai followers, the same as human. I don’t go out of my way for them, I simply welcome those who come and tell them to be cautious of Futo as she disapproves.
BBM: Your courtesan doesn’t approve of your methods?
TM: She’s not approving on youkai but we get through it.
BBM: But why favor humans in the first place? Is that part of Taoism?
TM: I’d barely been given a reason to like youkai.
BBM: One final question, why does everyone call you a prince and not a princess?
TM: I’m a prince because before I came here and was revived I really was an actual prince in ancient Japan. I guess the name just stuck even when the body changed.
New feature: Bunbunmaru poll
A paper is nothing without it’s readership dearest reader! It is the job of a good paper to be the voice, eyes, and ears of it’s readership.
That is why yours truly is pleased to announce that each issue of the Bunbunmaru will now include a poll on an issue of the day for you to let your voice be heard. And the following issue will report on the results.
Human or youkai, goddess or fairy, all are welcome to let their opinions be known.
The inaugural poll deals with the issue of annexation of the underground. Although it is not technically part of Gensokyo, the underground is for all practical purposes part of this great land. Yet it is still culturally distinct.
So I ask you dearest reader, should Gensokyo drop this pretence of separation and annex the underground?
http://www.strawpoll.me/10599989
Secret relationship? Sakuya spotted striping for Rinnosuke
File this one under summer romances dearest reader! Sakuya Izayoi was recently spotted by passerby's giving Rinnosuke Morichika a show. Is this the beginning of a new relationship? Or is the scarlet devil mansion in debt and sent their maid as “payment”? Questions abound!
The theory of yours truly is that Rinnosuke is the one man who can actually understand how between worlds Sakuya is. Despite her insistence that she is human, Sakuya surrounds herself with the youkai of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. Maybe she feels isolated, neither fully human or inhuman. It is the opinion of yours truly that this is what makes Rinnosuke, a half-youkai himself, such a perfect match for her.
Emotionally Detached: Alice speaks out
Perhaps best known for her mastery over dolls, Alice Margatroid has lived in Gensokyo for many years. Despite being somewhat of a prolific figure and having a hand in solving a few incidents, there is little known about this mysterious forest witch.
In order to set the record straight and dispel the innumerable rumors about her past. Alice agreed to an interview with yours truly.
Bunbunmaru: First the obvious question, why live out in the forest? Isn’t that lonely?
Alice Margatroid: I live in the forest, because I’m a being of solitude and prefer the quiet.
BBM: What about your relationship with the human village? Do you consider yourself more human or youkai?
AM: My standing with the human village is rather neutral, but I perform puppet shows from time to time there. I consider myself more Youkai than human, for the simple case of being unable to act with emotions.
BBM: Unable to act with emotions? What do you mean by that?
AM: I mean Emotional Detachment. It isn’t something I like talking about, but my childhood wasn’t the prettiest and kinda left me damaged... a lot.
BBM: Bad childhood? Is that what brought you to Gensokyo?
AM: Yes that’s the short answer what brought me from... Yes, what brought me to Gensokyo.
BBM: There are numerous rumors about you. Have you ever eaten a human?
AM: Uhh–I mean I am a Youkai and I really wanted to find out so– Yes I’ve eaten one human, but after that I haven’t done it again.
BBM: What about the stories of you letting people stay at your house? Why do that if you’re a creature of solitude?
AM: I only let people like my friends stay at my house, because I enjoy their company, but the rest of the time I like being alone. The rest is rumors, especially like that one where people run away in fear from seeing all my lovely dolls.
BBM: What about rumors that you can’t sleep without Eirin’s dream pills?
AM: The rumor is wrong. I’m not in need of any basic needs for living, neither sleep, nor food or water. I simply do it for the sake of it.
BBM: Is it true that you fought Reimu when you were only a child?
AM: Yes I fought Reimu when I was a child. She beat my derriere rather hard.
BBM: Do you hold a grudge against Reimu for doing that? What did you manage to do as a child to get her to attack you anyway?
AM: I don’t hold a grudge against Red-White. She merely did her job and I mine, no hard feelings there. A for what I did, it’s related to a past incident, one that happened behind the Hakurei Shrine and inside the mountains.
BBM: You must be quite young for a youkai if you were a child.
AM: I am merely 24 years old, Tengu Reporter, so yes, compared to most Youkai I’m rather young.
BBM: Were you born human?
AM: Hmm, I wouldn’t say quite born, but rather created by a Goddess.
BBM: Created? What was that like?
AM: Just imagine yourself waking up with no memories of anything. Kinda like amnesia, except you never had memories to begin with.
BBM: Doesn't that technically make you a demi goddess or something?
AM: I’d say it more or less makes me an Artificial Youkai, no?
BBM: Why so evasive over your past life?
AM: My past life is a thing I don’t want to burden anyone with, Crow Tengu
BBM: One final rumor. Is it true that book of yours is your diary?
AM: Yes, it doubles as a diary as well. Hence it being called the grimoire of Alice.
Children being separated at a young age; it is a sad but unfortunately common state of affairs. As often as not the children do not even remember having another sibling; especially should the separation occur young enough. Recent evidence gathered by yours truly has indicates that one such unknowing pair may be living in our very own forest of magic! One Marisa Kirisame and Alice Margatroid!
First, dearest reader, consider this. If I were to tell you about a blond magician that lived alone would you be able to guess which? No! Of course not! But the similarities don’t stop there! Both long lost sisters have highly become highly specialized in their preferred types of magic as a way to fill the sister shaped hole in their lives. Both sisters have an obsession with books in one form or another. Alice clings to that book of hers almost as though she’s expecting it to be ripped away from her before she can truly get to know it and Marisa constantly steals and acquires books as though she was searching for the one that was lost to her. Both of them seek or have sought the immortality that only status as a youkai magician can bring. Both are known for their anti-social tendencies.
Most telling of all is how impossible they become to tell apart if not for their distinct clothing and hairstyles. Just look at the front page photos, dear reader, and judge for yourself!
Dating: Yuuka and Yukari
Great news dearest reader! The rumors of the budding relationship between the sunflower youkai Yuuka Kazami and the gap youkai Yukari Yakamo are proving to be true!
The of them were spotted earlier this week on a romantic date in Yuuka’s famous sunflower field. With Yukari even going so far as to offer Yuuka a place on her lap.
This certainly marks the beginning of a grand romance.
Yuuka softens, spares human
Yuuka is well known for her staunch anti-human stance. The fact that she ranks among the most deadly of youkai in the minds of the human village is common knowledge. However it would seem that her courtship with Yukari has softened her view as she recently spared a human.
Recently the outside world human and ex-lover of Yuuka’s, Renko, was spotted joking around with the normally dangerous flower youkai.
When questioned about the nature of her relationship with her human ex-lover as well as her stance on humans in general Yuuka stated that she actually “quite likes humans” and that “[Renko] was her gardener”. She even went so far as to claim that her famous genocide comment was due to her being tired.
Yuuka did not elaborate on what exactly a flower youkai means by “Gardener”.
Yukari could not be reached for comment by press time.
Complaints of lack of orphan meat may put local food stand out of business
After a plethora of rumors surrounding her widely known food stand and it having a collection of exotic orphan meat burgers, Mystia Lorelei is starting to consider closing it down after receiving several complaints about her apparent lack of orphan meat burgers.
A reported several dozen customers of the grey and shaded variety had arrived at the stand and were disappointed that the rumors of Mystia’s supply of burgers made using the flesh of children whose parents were either missing or dead turned out to be false.
“I heard that she was selling it here and just had to check it out,” said one of the individuals. “Imagine my dismay when she tells me she not only didn’t have it, but NEVER had it.”
Complaints were common across the board. “I was just getting ready to build myself a meat dragon!” another of the grey people reported.
“Everybody knows that you just can’t use any type of meat when constructing one of those. Way to let the customer down, Mystia!” When asked about the matter, Mystia herself did not seem very surprised.
“This is why you never put any trust in those rumors!” she told reporters on the evening of the big rush.
“All they ever do for you is lead you to disappointment at best, and at worst you could put some poor girl’s livelihood as they know it in jeopardy…Now I have to sit back and rethink my career for a day or two.”
It would seem that rumors of the Makaian earthquake doomsday weapon may turn out to be true after all.
Gensokyo was recently hit with a small earthquake of unknown source.
While the celestials were first thought to blame, the geological evidence gathered by the Tengu Geological Society indicated otherwise. With signs pointing to an extraplanner source.
The only known plane with both cause and ability to cause such an earthquake is the realm of Makai.
When asked for comment Makai creator and dictator Shinki denied involvement claiming that “[she] has no knowledge of this.”
When pressed for details she insinuated that it may have been on of her throngs of underlings. Admitting that there was a “chance it could have been one of [her] citizens”.
Relations strained
Relations between Gensokyo and Makai have been strained following a border dispute involving tourism rights. Since then Gensokyo and Makai have been engaged in an unofficial cold war.
While contact has largely only been through official functions. Makai has remained quiet in recent years.
Many analysts on the mountain have claimed that this was simply an attempt to lul Gensokyo into a false sense of security. Now many are worried they may have been correct.
Rumors of an earthquake machine
Ever since the incident involving a celestial setting off an earthquake. The Tengu Geological Society has carefully monitored the Geological stability of Gensokyo.
Rumors that they discovered evidence of a Makaian doomsday weapon involving earthquakes have been frequent, but as of yet unsubstantiated.
This recent earthquake and Shinki’s evasiveness has put the veracity of those rumors under the spotlight.
//I’ve decided I’m going to answer all the asks I get over at my new ask blog. so I’ve disabled the asks on this blog (submissions still work!). I’m going to answer most of the asks I’ve gotten on this blog in one bulk post right away. And then I’ll put the rest in a queue.
//Edit: I guess I only answered 3 of the 15 asks . But the rest are in the queue.
Full text of articles along with hyperlinks to the referenced posts are behind the read more.
“I’m not trying to make anyone do anything”
Byakuren Hijiri is the leader of the Buddhist temple located not far from the human village. She is best known for her unorthodox stance on youkai/human relations, where she preaches peace and cooperation. She is also well known for her love of motorized bikes from the outside world, and can often be seen riding one around Gensokyo in a form fitting bodysuit. Yours truly managed to land an interview with this influential figure of Gensokyo.
Bunbunmaru: Let's start with how you came to Gensokyo. Is it true you were sealed away in Makai?
Byakuren Hijiri: It is true, I was sentenced to eternal banishment within Hokkai, a desolate place deep in Makai. I was unsealed by the efforts of my followers, and the strength of the Red-White shrine maiden in the end.
BBM: There are endless rumors, is it true you were tortured daily? Did you best Shinki in a blood sport?
BH: I was not tortured physically, but I was kept in almost complete isolation for centuries. Unable to move, see, hear, or even feel anything. It was like being dead, but not. However, the goddess of Makai was very kind and made great effort to visit me once she learned of my presence there. Miss Shinki is one of my dearest friends, Miss Reporter. I could never fight her.
BBM: What about once you escaped? Was it hard to adjust to freedom? Why did you stay a monk?
BH: Adjusting was hard, but I was able to do it, and I stayed a monk because that is what I am. I trained my entire life to be a monk. Why would I stop being one? Just because I’m a magician doesn’t mean I can’t be a monk as well.
BBM: What about your current goals? Is it true that you're trying to make humans and youkai get along?
BH: I’m not trying to make anyone do anything, but I would like if they did. My goal is to establish equality among humans and youkai, because we’re all the same really. We have lives and feelings, we feel pain, and we also can suffer as well. Though death is a thing humans fear more than youkai, given youkai long life and some even being almost immortal…
BBM: Is that proving difficult?
BH: There’s been some difficulty, yes. It would be bad to lie about it, but I would rather not focus on the negative and instead talk about the positive things.
BBM: What kinds of positive things? Have you had any major successes you'd like people to hear about?
BH: We built a Temple here, and um… We give free tours of Makai to anyone who wants to see there. We have an agreement with Miss Shinki for that in exchange for her teaching me magic. Oh yes! We’re starting a class to help others give up eating meat and drinking alcohol!
Opinions on Byakuren Mixed but largely positive
In preparation for this article yours truly asked several of Gensokyo’s prominent people about their opinions on Byakuren. The responses we got were varied but, largely positive. It would seem that the monk has no image issues, dearest reader. Below are a select few of the more interesting responses:
Suwako Moriya: “She’s really stressed out all the time, kero.”
Hata no Kokoro: “Byakuren is very caring”
Nazrin: “What? Does it look like I just loiter around the temple?”
Nue Houjuu: “Byakuren and Shou? Yes, they are in an intimate and passionate sexual relationship.”
Approachability possibly key to recent success
As you can see from the above quotes dearest reader, and from the interview itself, Byakuren is quite approachable. This may serve to explain why Buddhism has seen an uptick in popularity over recent months (as yours truly reported on I might add). This seems especially likely when compared to the rather aloof and secluded Taoists.
10th Gensokyo M-1 Gran Prix
Marred by accusations of Corruption
Another of Gensokyo’s famous manzai tournaments has come and gone. Unfortunately, dearest reader, this tournament was overshadowed by rumors and accusations of corruption among the judges.
Despite Marisa Kirisame of team MikoMikoSpark having given into her alcoholism, and despite her being barely able to stand at all, team MikoMikoSpark somehow managed to win the tournament. This upset has caused many to question the integrity of this year’s judges.
Kaguya convinces Sagume to change vote
In the semi-finals the scores came down to a decision between MikoMikoSpark and new comers Lunar Dango. The decision resting on the unconventional dirt based scoring system used by Judge Sagume Kishin.
After a brief discussion with the hosts, Sagume seemed poised to side with team Lunar Dango, eliminating MikoMikoSpark from the competition. Before the vote could be finalized Judge Kaguya Houraisan interrupted with the comment that “since earth is a dirty place it should be reversed”. For unknown reasons, this comment caused Sagume to change her mind siding with MikoMikoSpark.
Family ties?
Further muddling the waters, recent rumors that Marisa Kirisame has family ties to judge Mima have surfaced. Although these are unproven at this time, if true they would call Judge Mima’s impartiality into question.
The Bunbunmaru will keep you updated of any developments.
New Youkai takes up residence, immediately flashes everyone
New youkai coming to Gensokyo is nothing new dearest reader. However, one recent immigrant has taken Gensokyo by storm. Or more specifically, Gensokyo’s dating scene by storm.
It was not long after her arrival that Hikari Akatsuki became rather prolific on the dating scene. Thus far she has been spotted in romantic situations with no less than three separate people. Some of Hikari’s more notable flings of Hikari’s include:
She was spotted with the self-proclaimed delinquent celestial Tenshi Hinanawi in a private hot spring.
Making out with the ferrywoman of Higan Komachi Onozuka.
Even hitting on the ever scornful Parsee Mizuhashi, which went as you might expect.
Rumors even claim that she’s been in an intimate affair with the Menreiki Hata No Kokoro.
Of course, when asked about this. Hikari denied that she came to Gensokyo seeking love, instead spinning a tail about being driven here by war. After which she burnt out yours truly camera with a flash of light. Not that I’m bitter dearest reader; that would be unprofessional.
Opinion: Gensokyo’s morals in freefall
Dearest reader, there is no two ways about it, the morals of the powerful and famous of Gensokyo has taken a nose dive recently. One need look no farther than the recent wave of exhibitionism, or the debauched parties with “booze and hookers” held by the one and only Hecatia to see the proof.
Don’t believe me that it’s that bad dearest reader? It is. The above mentioned party hosted by Hecatia included the moon fairy Clownpeice in it. If inviting fairies to such parties is not a serious corruption of public morals, then I don’t know what is!
While the cause of all the debauchery remains unclear, you can trust yours truly to investigate and shed some light on this recent disturbing trend.
Exhibitionism a trend? Bored youkai shed clothing.
As you no doubt know dearest reader, yours truly tries her best to bring you only the most worthy of news rather than the tabloid journalism of my competitors. This time however, dearest reader, there is a story that straddles the line between good taste and newsworthiness. Though yours truly is unsure which side it falls on, I decided to publish it, but to hold back the pictures.
The story in question dearest reader? A trend of exhibitionism has taken hold among the powerful and famous of Gensokyo! Many of Gensokyo’s great and grand have taken to exposing themselves with little or no clothing for seemingly no reason.
Notable participants in this wave of lascivious behavior include the witch of the forest Marisa Kirisame, who was seen running around the forest completely devoid of her normally chaste attire.
Meanwhile, the ever enigmatic Toyosatomimi no Miko reportedly is such a staunch exhibitionist that she was resisting all attempts by others to clothe herself.
Sadly dearest reader, this is far from an exhaustive list. The quantity of people involved leaves yours truly asking: Why has such a shameless trend come to Gensokyo?
Chireiden announces bold immigration policy
Earlier this week Koishi Komeiji, sister of the mistress of Chireiden Satori Komeiji announced a bold new initiative to invite Gensokyo’s population to the underground old hell to build a new metropolis. Such a policy marks a stark divergence for Chireden’s traditional policy of isolationism and xenophobia.
When asked about the sudden change of policy, Koishi would only respond “I said they ought to build a metropolis. That means they build their own stuff… sorta means all your questions are pointless to ask me, right?”
While the official reasons for the drastic change are unclear. Some experts have speculated that this may be a sign of a power struggle between the two Komeiji sisters; with such a policy marking an attempt by Koishi to distance herself from her old sister.
Text versions of the articles are behind the read more:
Opinion: Tengu rebellion should not be so easily dismissed
If you live on the mountain dearest reader, you’ve no doubt by now heard of the rebellion against the oni spearheaded by Daichi Yuutamo Senior Editor of the Intrepid Truth Press. And if you’re like most Tengu, dearest reader, you no doubt dismissed it out of hand. Yours truly, thinks such casual dismissal is a mistake.
I’ll be the first to admit, dearest reader, that I have not always been the most traditional of Tengu, but I have always sought to uphold our most sacred values of truth and it’s pursuit. And one of the most important ways to pursue the truth is to keep an open mind. If you don’t dearest reader, you risk letting old miss conceptions cloud your vision. If we don’t we’re no better than those close minded humans in the village.
The very fact that Daichi’s rebellion has found any traction at all, means that there must be at least some grain of truth to his complaints. After all the oni have done for us, don’t we owe it to them to try and help them be better? Maybe we should listen to his complaints with that in mind. Maybe there really is somewhere that they could improve, and we could be the ones to help them in that!
It’s my opinion that we should give Daichi a fair listening to. Then we can make a rational judgement of them. Maybe his ideas are as crazy as some no doubt believe, but maybe there is some truth in them. And are we really very good tengu if we ignore a potential truth just because it might be uncomfortable?
Yukari takes human lover
Yes dearest reader, another story about what Gensokyo’s youkai-phile human is up to. After somehow surviving her dalliance with Yuuka Kazami, the Human Renku Usami has begun dating another Youkai. This time she’s dating none other than the youkai sage herself, Yukari Yakumo. If yours truly didn’t know better dearest reader, I’d say that Renko’s trying to one up herself.
Yukari herself even confirmed this when asked for comment by the Bunbunmaru. Saying that she thinks Renko is “Cute”. Although she was unable or possibly unwilling to elaborate further when pressed for details.
Renko herself was far less tightlipped about the whole affair than her new paramour. When asked to explain her relationship, Renko said that she’s come to believe that Yukari is Renko’s long lost (and probably dead and eaten) human lover Mary. Renko continued to say that she believes that this marry person somehow evolved into the current Yukari and lost or discarded her human memories.
I was at first, dearest reader, inclined to believe that this was just some insanity brought on by human grief. However, Renko continued to elaborate that she believes this means that even if her old flame and Yukari share a common past, they are still different people and that Renko is infatuated with Yukari in her own right.
While it is not known why the breakup between Renko and Yuuka occurred or how Renko survived, it will be interesting to see how long this new relationship lasts.
As always dearest reader, yours truly will keep you informed.
Taoism losing followers
A recent poll of the human village commissioned by the Bunbunmaru has shown that Taoism is losing followers. Of those who once considered themselves primarily Taoist, 15% of them now claim to have fallen out with the faith.
Some of the humans we interviewed attributed this to the relative inaccessibility of Gensokyo’s Taoist leaders compared to the leaders of the competition.
Although the cause of the change is still unclear, several humans were willing to speak to us on condition of anonymity:
“Miko is just creepy, you know? Not at all like Byakuren.”
“Does Taoism have a god at all? What’s the point if they don’t?”
“Hina cares for us as best she can, that Miko person just looks down on us.”
“I wouldn’t mind a roll in the hay with some of the Taoists, but they lack the dignity of the Hakurei miko.”
These were just a few select quotes of the people we talked to. The common theme of the interviews we conducted seems to be that the recent hands off approach that the Taoists have been taking has caused the humans to feel abandoned by them.
Faith is central to the power balance in Gensokyo. A sustained shift in the Taoist following could spell serious problems for Toyosatomimi no MIko and her group. Perhaps the Taoists only saving grace in such an unfortunate scenario is that unlike Shinto gods, they are not directly empowered by faith.
Both the newcomer faith Hinaism and age old Taoist rival Buddhism have picked up the bulk of the humans that have left the Taoist fold.
Senkai did not respond to our request for comment by print time.
Satori Komeji’s experimental fashion
She’s at it again dearest reader. Satori Komeji has managed to land herself in my paper – again. This time it’s not for drunkenly attempting to fight a goddess, molesting her pets, or accusations of beating her sister. No, dearest reader that was how the ever attention starved mind reader of Chireden got into my paper last issue.
I won’t bore you with the details, for I’m still too terrified of her to approach for an interview (did I mention I’m now hiring interns?). Instead, I’ll just allow this candid picture to speak for itself.
Retraction: Princess Kaguya not into BDSM
I try my best to bring you only the best and most accurate news dearest reader, but even I can make mistakes. In the last issue of the Bunbunmaru, we cited a rumour that princess Kaguya was in a BDSM relationship with Fujiwara no Mokou. After a brief interview with the princess herself, it turns that is indeed just a rumour.
