Franz Wright, from “East Boston, 1996; Night Walk,” in God’s Silence

if i look back, i am lost
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Sade Olutola
DEAR READER

JBB: An Artblog!
cherry valley forever
Today's Document

titsay

Janaina Medeiros
YOU ARE THE REASON
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Xuebing Du
art blog(derogatory)
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
tumblr dot com

izzy's playlists!
wallacepolsom
styofa doing anything

PR's Tumblrdome
KIROKAZE
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@trying2b-a-conqueress
Franz Wright, from “East Boston, 1996; Night Walk,” in God’s Silence
tumblr users love reading. you literally stopped for this post just because it has words in it
this is one of my favorite bits about tumblr
the users seem to actually prefer text posts to anything else, and treat it as a chore to play a video especially with sound
healing happens in circles, not lines. you will return to old places with new eyes.
There's more:
bitch this is all you’re gonna get. this life, this face, this body. you better not ‘maybe in another universe’ your way out of everything. sit your ass down and face this. go make tea and have a picnic and read a goddamn book. kiss your loved ones, send that damn text, and hug your siblings. this is all you’re gonna get.
and in a similar vein: at this very moment, whatever your age may be or however old you may feel, you are still the youngest that you will ever be for the rest of your life. one day, you'll look back and realize that you actually still had more going for you than you thought you did.
Oh ok so it turns out ive been borrowing grief from the future ! it turns out ive been preparing to lose the things i love rather than basking in the light of them while they last. Maybe i should nt do that
Well, I'M proud of it.
thinking about anastasia trusova paintings again
CAN ANYONE HEAR ME
Mary Oliver, “Don’t Hesitate.”
"JOY IS NOT MADE TO BE A CRUMB."
"Sorrow", Edna St. Vincent Millay,
Seinfeld – 4.23: The Pilot
An embroidery of the Wikipedia page for embroidery.
The Glass Essay, Anne Carson | Molly Brodak, Molly Brodak
Draw badly. Write nonsensically. Embroider messily. Burn what you bake and cook. Get paint everywhere. Read half a book. Lose your mind for a bit. Plant things. Have faith in the process. Abandon 70 wood-carving projects. Get a kit and do some of it and never return to it. Get comfortable with sucking and losing motivation. Continue to create with reckless abandon.
Shadow dancing
The real reason millenials say "Adulting" is that that if you say something is "for adult reasons" or "grown up reasons" we've been trained to associate that with sex and shit when we just wanna say, be vague about our chore habits
...you know I don’t think I’ve ever seen it put into words so concisely but that is exactly why I use “adulting” over any other term.
“doing adult things” = almost always a euphemism for sexy stuff (when other people say it)
“adulting” = all the tedious things like laundry and cooking that you become responsible for as an adult
There’s also just the way we were raised, where adulthood was treated as automatic and innate. The authority of adults was meant to be unquestioned by virtue of their adulthood. When you get older, you too will automatically Be An Adult, and be inheritor to this great authority.
Basically the word “adult” or “grown up” was used to condescend to us and exclude us. And what made a person an adult was treated as inherent.
Then we got older and tripped into what actually doing adulthood meant and came to find that
1. The people who were supposed to explain to us how this worked had completely failed to do so
2. They had done so in such a way that was meant to protect their authority while also (possibly inadvertently) barring us from the experiences and skills that would’ve helped us transition into adulthood better.
3. There is no inherent authority that comes with adulthood. The adults around us were talking out of their ass. Adult is a verb, not a noun. It’s not an inherent source of authority, it’s a thing you work at daily and you have to maintain it.
And what’s more the same people who lorded their age over us, telling us repeatedly we’d suddenly come to agree with them with age, completely failed to cede any of that authority or power even as some millennials are now staring down 40. So clearly “adulthood” is a game you’re trying to play to control us, even now. Fuck that. We’re not playing.
Honestly that some in Gen Z find it irritating is fine by me. If they think it sounds juvenile, that’s because it is. It is specifically useful in that it breaks the illusion of adults being better than kids. When kids are like, “you sound absurd. You’re in your thirties” I’m like, yeah kid. That’s the thing. Being an “adult” never stops being absurd. If it makes me sound like the mundanities of my life are all a performance that has nothing to do with my actual age or ability, good. That’s why I say it. I’m glad you’re growing up knowing that age isn’t an inherent door to authority. I’m glad you’re growing up thinking “fuck, these adults ten years older than me don’t act grown up at all.” That’s what we want. That’s we call it “adulting”, instead of claiming adulthood as part of us.
Maybe if your gen is lucky you will feel more appropriate claiming your adulthood without caveats. Maybe your definitions of adulthood are more versatile, so you won’t feel barred from the signifiers you’d need to feel like an adult. Maybe you’ll have a better launching pad. Maybe you’ll always hate we call it “adulting”. That’s okay. I hope you get better than we did. But I’m still gonna call it adulting.
As to Boomers who don’t like it, you shouldn’t have defunded my practical education and made getting a foot into a normal stable life so damn difficult, you fucks.
Also, watching the Boomer generation age, I have to say that their “certainties” are based off of a faith in institutions that were there, but are rapidly disappearing or straight-up gone. They could take it for granted and assume that they’d earned their stability (“I come from a generation that works hard!”). They genuinely think the stability in some way correlated with their individual choices.
Millennials know any “stability” is illusory: it’s all built on wet tissue paper. What’s wild is seeing when Boomers occasionally punch their foot through said tissue paper, because there used to be something real under it. Then they turn to you like “can you believe this?” and it’s like… yes, I can, I never got a chance to know it could be otherwise.