Listening to Silence @tryingtoflywithoutwings-blog - Tumblr Blog

Happiness.

I feel like happiness is one of those things that, the more you think about it, the less likely you are to have it. I feel like trying to figure out why people are happy and what makes people happy causes me to forget that I am happy.

#happy #happiness

Visitors.

Lately I've been thinking about how we are merely visitors in each other's lives. Sometimes welcome, sometimes unwelcome. Sometimes we over stay our welcome. Sometimes we leave before you are through with us. Either way, we are not permanent. No one is permanent. That is the cycle - always coming and going and growing and changing. Sometimes returning for a second visit, feeling as though we didn't have enough the first round.

But everyone we encounter are visitors in our lives and we have the power to either welcome them or deny them welcome.

#something to think about

What do you blame God for?

I feel like some people choose to blame God for their problems.

I could blame God for my parents being alcoholics, but they are the ones who pick up the glass every night.

I could blame God for my bad grades, but I'm the one who chooses to waste my time idling instead of doing my school work.

I could blame God for my dad abusing my mom, but he is the one who raised his hand in violence.

I could blame God for me never being in love with someone, but I'm the one who pushes away anyone and everyone I feel close to.

We and the people around us actively make these decisions to be selfish, to be unfocused, to choose to be less than we should be and we are just looking for someone to blame. It's time we all stop looking for a scapegoat and start owning up for what we've done.

#ownit #God #God has saved me every day of my life #excuses

Remote.

And i find myself going back to the person I was. Cutting myself from everything. Pulling away from everyone. Yet wondering why I'm so alone. I'm consciously aware of what I'm doing, that I've walked down this road before, that I'm only hurting myself, yet I can't keep from it. Why am I addicted to bringing myself down? Why am I addicted to the negative? Why can't I rationalize with my emotions?

Why was I born a person, rather than a bird or a dog or a rock? What is so significant about me that I am meant to be here, right now, in the form I am?

Silver Lining

If the Silver Linings Playbook taught me anything, it's that even crazy people can find love.

Falling From Grace

I'll deny it for a while

I'll just pretend its someone else

then the doubt sinks in

and slowly by slowly that someone is you

and you're falling from grace

the glowing image I've come to know

tattered and torn by one single flickering moment of doubt

countless hours spend re-evaluating every word you said

step you took

futile attempts to understand what changed

how I missed this glaring fault

Then it flashes

the doubt was a cloud

now parting to show the truth

not as it seemed, but as it is

but the faith is gone

and the majesty of all that you were does not return

and you stand before me

human

My first triangle article!

Next Year.

I'm almost afraid of what might happen on my next birthday.

#bad luck brian #story of my life

still think I'm cute...

...I just feel like taking cute pictures...too bad I'm not cute.

#WHEN YOU THINK YOU LOOK GOOD

quote-book

There is only one thing worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

Oscar Wilde (via multicellular)

quote-book

I have learned that to be with those I like is enough.

Walt Whitman (via girlwithoutwings)

Time After Time.

History seems to keep repeating itself. No matter how hopeful I try to be about my birthday, something always seems to go wrong. This year is an entirely new beast. I can't fathom how someone so close to me who knows how I feel, can completely over look me and my feelings on "my special day". There is something you will never understand. It's funny how you both have that in common. You can't imagine how anyone else but yourself feels in a situation. You can't step outside of yourself for one second and look at how you affect the world around you. Well, I hope your happy, but don't expect me to be happy with you.

#birthdays mean nothing #so do friends #apparently

Birthday Reminders

Isn't it funny how I always find myself here. On my birthday. Looking at what I used to be. Thinking of how I got here, what I've messed up, what graces have fallen upon me, and what people have brushed my side as they've walked past me.

This day has brought up so many questions:

Who am I? Am I closer to who I wanted to be last year? Am I on the right path? Am I coasting or driving? Am I being all I can be?

Sadly, the answer to a lot of these questions is no. No, I'm not closer to who I want to be. No, I'm not on the right path. No, I'm not driving. No, I'm not being all I can be.

And the thought of changing all that scares the life out of me.

#hopelessly hopless #carosel effect #there's no more music

Everyday.

Everyday I get a little closer to understanding myself and, simultaneously, instantly farther away.

Recently, you've given me some things to think about and they have all led to more questions. Funny how all the questions seem to have the same answer - I don't know I've never been in that situation. I haven't been in so many situations that seem so normal. Of course everyone wants to experience new things, but I don't feel like I'm in any rush. Or am I? He'll be worth it.

All I can think about is that day.

jump jump nausea

already? birthday?

jump jump

not today

nausea nausea

jump jump

balloons run

run

stuck.

beginning.

#what is missing about that day

Blahbidy blah blah.

Why I spend so much time thinking about things that don't matter? Because if I didn't have pointless things to think about, I'd have to think about the big stuff, the life changing stuff. Every time I sweat the small stuff, I'm simply procrastinating.

#its #more #fun #this #way

<3

#good music #<3 #love this song

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