kick me like a stray

it/its vent blog, not a discourse blog, not a safe space for radfems of any kind. fuck off.

[kittenscratches]

Getting some new followers recently so I'm gonna make a pinned post

my masterpost of transmasc theory

it/its pronouns, no they/them

Late twenties

Not from the USA

Will very occasionally post NSFW (mostly art or artistic NSFW, no actual porn), follow at own risk

I'm bad at tagging most things, sorry in advance but I try my best and if you'd like something specific tagged please let me know.

I am autistic and have ADHD. Please do not tone police me or ascribe intentions to my words that aren't there. Sometimes I'm quite verbose and if this is an accessibility issue let me know and I will try to be more concise or use more plain/simple language.

This used to be an aesthetic side blog but now I mainly use it to vent and add my 2 cents on topics that I feel I can personally speak on due to my own experiences, mostly anti-transmasculinity, transandrophobia, and other transmasc issues.

As an addendum to this: I'm fucking exhausted from trying to have good faith discussions with people who refuse to listen and refuse to try to understand, and will paint me as aggressive or condescending for straightforward explanations and questions. I'm no longer engaging in these discussions in any serious manner. If you see me posting in the tags or in someone's replies it's because I'm fed up with this shit. A while ago I said transmascs have got to get meaner so I am. Fuck transphobes.

[genderkoolaid]

fucking evil but what do i even expect

[kittenscratches]

Are we fucking serious right now lmfao this person has to be a fed

[autisticmysticsarah]

"Invisible" means they aren't actively targeted like trans women are

When they complain about being invisible it's always in response to transmisogyny being discussed. Whenever they complain about it it's always framed as the fault of trans women.

"you don't prioritize trans men" yes because transphobia is rooted in a hatred of women, which means trans women are and have always been the primary targets.

"I don't feel welcome in queer communities" you feel unwelcome because it hurts when women talk shit about men. Gay cis men are still welcome in the queer community regardless of our criticism of them as men, and if they refuse understand that women venting about men is not systemic discrimination then they get rightfully criticized for it. The same goes for trans men, they just expect to be treated differently from cis queer men.

[autisticmysticsarah]

Women are less likely to REPORT being sexually assaulted. This is true for cis and trans women and does not mean trans men and AFAB Non-binary people are sexually assaulted more.

Trans women and men both face high rates of sexual violence that fluctuate depending on location and year.

https://factually.co/fact-checks/health/trans-men-vs-trans-women-sexual-abuse-rates-748d29

[kittenscratches]

The link there is an AI tool, btw. You're using AI to fact check.

Yeah this means "least likely to say "I have experienced sexual violence" on this survey". The survey can't say "these people did or did not experience sexual violence" because the survey has no way of actually telling if that is true outside what the participants "report" to the survey (as in, tell the survey). So they have to frame it and phrase it as "this is what people told us personally on our questionnaire". That is what that means - to translate, it's saying "the demographic that had the least amount of people tell us they experienced sexual assault is trans women".

Anyway, you are contributing to the very thing you claim doesn't happen. You're living proof that we are erased and invisible, because you're trying to erase us and speak over us right now. You are directly participating in transphobia, specifically anti-transmasculinity.

I have a masterpost of resources in my pinned, go and read the section of transmasc resources, then we can have a discussion. But before then you should actually listen to us about our experiences.

[autisticmysticsarah]

Thanks for telling me it was AI, I didn't know. As I've explained, even if Trans men do face higher rates of violence depending on the survey, they are not oppressed for being men, but for being trans.

[kittenscratches]

You're literally telling a marginalised demographic you are not a part of and do not have the experiences of, about their own oppression.

This is bigotry. You are being a bigot. You are engaging in epistemic injustice.

Read. The. Resources. Or admit you don't care and your opinions don't matter because you're refusing to engage with what WE say about OUR experiences, not what you think.

[kittenscratches]

idk how you deal with all these people who say that kind us stuff. It makes me too angry

Eh honestly it used to come from a place of wanting to educate people, but I have been worn down over the years so now it comes from multiple other, less virtuous, places.

A lot of the time it's the autism "well you're just blatantly wrong about this and I need to tell you that so my brain can close this case instead of thinking about how stupid people are all day" lmao.

But also part of me still wants to push back on things so other people at least see another perspective, regardless of if the OP changes their mind. If I'm calling for the OP to read something, I'm actually calling for onlookers to read it, too. If that makes any sense

[autisticmysticsarah]

"Invisible" means they aren't actively targeted like trans women are

When they complain about being invisible it's always in response to transmisogyny being discussed. Whenever they complain about it it's always framed as the fault of trans women.

"you don't prioritize trans men" yes because transphobia is rooted in a hatred of women, which means trans women are and have always been the primary targets.

"I don't feel welcome in queer communities" you feel unwelcome because it hurts when women talk shit about men. Gay cis men are still welcome in the queer community regardless of our criticism of them as men, and if they refuse understand that women venting about men is not systemic discrimination then they get rightfully criticized for it. The same goes for trans men, they just expect to be treated differently from cis queer men.

[autisticmysticsarah]

Women are less likely to REPORT being sexually assaulted. This is true for cis and trans women and does not mean trans men and AFAB Non-binary people are sexually assaulted more.

Trans women and men both face high rates of sexual violence that fluctuate depending on location and year.

https://factually.co/fact-checks/health/trans-men-vs-trans-women-sexual-abuse-rates-748d29

[kittenscratches]

The link there is an AI tool, btw. You're using AI to fact check.

Yeah this means "least likely to say "I have experienced sexual violence" on this survey". The survey can't say "these people did or did not experience sexual violence" because the survey has no way of actually telling if that is true outside what the participants "report" to the survey (as in, tell the survey). So they have to frame it and phrase it as "this is what people told us personally on our questionnaire". That is what that means - to translate, it's saying "the demographic that had the least amount of people tell us they experienced sexual assault is trans women".

Anyway, you are contributing to the very thing you claim doesn't happen. You're living proof that we are erased and invisible, because you're trying to erase us and speak over us right now. You are directly participating in transphobia, specifically anti-transmasculinity.

I have a masterpost of resources in my pinned, go and read the section of transmasc resources, then we can have a discussion. But before then you should actually listen to us about our experiences.

[femdemon]

I still really don't understand the degree of hatred refrainbow and the Boyfriends webcomic received. I never read the comic myself just because I've never personally liked the webtoons app (just inundated with ads IIRC) but it seems like the "controversy," at best, was that the polyamory in the comic was poorly written/would have been unhealthy IRL. But that was enough for people to get as hateful as they did?

Because I purposely kept myself out of the loop as the shit was actively hitting the fan, all I can say for certain is that the advertising for the comic on YouTube was inescapable, and that definitely annoyed me sometimes, but that was never refrainbow's fault? But I saw glimpses of what people were saying, and to this day it just feels like such an obvious transphobic smear campaign, especially because the first result that comes up when you Google "refrainbow controversy" is a transphobic subreddit.

It just hurts to see that trans mascs are so unwelcome, and have been for so long, that something as innocuous and trivial as clumsily handling some representation in your webcomic is enough of a transgression that people will gleefully jump at the opportunity to imagine or make art depicting your characters being subject to violence. Which in itself isn't a problem, but the obvious insinuation here is that your characters are a stand-in for you.

And obviously it would have been great if the polyamory had been better written, but it was clearly never really about that for the people who went on to be so hateful over it. I'm also seeing people say it was because the comic "fetishized the queer community," or just because they found it boring. So, as far as I can tell, whatever reason it is that people became so venomous, it was never a good reason. If it was something to do with the comic not being PC enough (which is a valid criticism, don't get me wrong), there are ways of giving constructive criticism that don't involve being a massive dickhead cyberbully. If it's just a matter of not liking the fucking comic, then just move on and find something else to read? But no, there was an opportunity to attack a trans masc artist, and reasons were invented to justify hating and harming him. And now I get to scroll upon Pinterest posts where folks are laughing and reminiscing about how much they used to hate this comic and the artist, to the point that they'd work themselves up into a frenzy making artwork of the characters being brutalized.

[kittenscratches]

As a polyamorous transmasc: the polyamory was fine. Maybe unrealistic in that there were very few problems and everyone just seemed to be like "yeah sure this works" without any adjustment period and they're all pretty young. But there truly wasn't anything problematic about it. I wouldn't say it's a misrepresentation either, especially considering like 80% of other poly rep in media is just a throuple anyway. It would also have completely changed the tone of the comic if there were long conversations about boundaries and preferences, too. It's fiction. It's fine if it just works. There's truly nothing wrong with it. And I shared it with my poly friends and they really enjoyed it, too.

[wandofdamnation]

@transandrophobiaexpose is a bait blog. it is sharing posts that have nothing to do with discrimination about trans men and is trying to interpret them as such. it is also offering strictly bad faith interpretations about the posts it screenshots.

please stop engaging and reacting to it. its goal is to paint the concept of transandrophobia and the people who fight for it as bigoted and incorrect.

[gaphic]

Idk where people get the idea that ‘erasure’ is like, a preferable alternative to violence. Erasure is not the absence of violence, it is the systematic refusal to acknowledge violence. It’s watching a drowning man and refusing to help. It’s turning your back on the sick, the starving, and the imprisoned.

This website has multiple well-known posts about how medical misogyny means most people don’t know that women can have different heart attack symptoms than men. That is erasure, and it kills people.

[kittenscratches]

All that time and effort spent writing an (badly researched with incorrectly interpreted sources btw) essay just to get transmascs to shut up about our issues so you can be complicit in engaging in transphobia. Why don't you spend that time idfk supporting and engaging with black transfems work and content, huh? No, no, must reference Dworkin and other terfs, huh.

[kittenscratches]

She also used the botched income study, btw. The one that says black and indigenous women make more than their male counterparts.

[burning-gray-mon]

The majority of her references aren't trans men or trans mascs, she's not a trans man or trans masc, and she hasn't bothered actually engaging trans men or trans mascs in any meaningful conversation, just jumped to 'the whiny bitches tboys are wrong because uuuuuhhh'

[kittenscratches]

YUP!

Also, from her tiktok bio:

Like yeah girl we know, none of that is a good thing, you're admitting you like terfism but you think "woman" should include "trans women" because you want to be a part of the mean girls' club. Fucking hell

[kittenscratches]

All that time and effort spent writing an (badly researched with incorrectly interpreted sources btw) essay just to get transmascs to shut up about our issues so you can be complicit in engaging in transphobia. Why don't you spend that time idfk supporting and engaging with black transfems work and content, huh? No, no, must reference Dworkin and other terfs, huh.

[kittenscratches]

She also used the botched income study, btw. The one that says black and indigenous women make more than their male counterparts.

[kittenscratches]

All that time and effort spent writing an (badly researched with incorrectly interpreted sources btw) essay just to get transmascs to shut up about our issues so you can be complicit in engaging in transphobia. Why don't you spend that time idfk supporting and engaging with black transfems work and content, huh? No, no, must reference Dworkin and other terfs, huh.

[therapatical]

okay, I think it's time to start collecting responses for this

Social Disposability

The queer community is far from immune to injustice, anti-Blackness, racism, fatphobia, ableism, sexism, intersexism, misogyny, etc. and tho

[kittenscratches]

Found the type of guy I keep talking about that people hate when I talk about "without proof" so here you go.

Anyway this REEKS of internalised transphobia and I'm gonna point out why:

"I am A Man in every situation that I dont out myself" so trans men who are visibly trans or out as trans or dont passs... aren't men? This also proves my point that trans men don't have male privilege for being trans men, and that being mistaken for a cis man is not the same as inherently having that privilege. If you say "I have male privilege specific to the situation where my trans status isn't known" then you're implying that when your trans status is known you don't have that privilege. Meaning you don't have that privilege whatsoever.

I'm invisibly disabled; would that mean I have "abled privilege" because people assume that I'm not disabled and treat me as such? No? That's ridiculous, because my experience is a disabled one and when interacting with every system I'm interacting with them as a disabled person. When interacting with every system I'm also interacting with them as a trans person.

Talking about the way cis men treat you because they think you're a cis man isn't material privilege. "People treat me slightly better because they don't know I'm trans" is nowhere on the scale of systemic privilege.

"Claiming I don't experience male privilege is just honestly misgendering at this point" so you think that the only valid manhood is one that emulates cis manhood and can recieve those benefits? Tell me you don't think non passing trans men are real men without telling me.

There is in no way implying "trans women benefit from male privilege" with this, and in fact it's the other way around. If you think anyone who looks like a cis man has male privilege, you're saying closeted or pre-/non-transitioned trans women have male privilege. We know this is false. Because we can conceive of a society where people are punished for not upholding patriarchal expectations of manhood; in the case of trans women it's not being men at all, and in the case of trans men it's that we are not specifically cis men.

Anyway inb4 "you're just upset because you don't pass" - I'm literally stealth. I have a beard. I pass so well instead of being catcalled I get called a faggot. Sorry I don't fall into the trap of believing cishetero hegemonic white manhood is the ideal and that I can understand not having male privilege doesn't make me less of a man, ig

[sodomit]

It's really remarkable that almost all trans men who are against transandrophobia theory are the type of guy to lean into toxic masculinity.

They don't care about trans women at all, they just want them as a fragile victim stereotype for their cisheteronormativity fantasy.

[myboyrozanovv]

Very good post.

What this person in the screenshot talks about is passing privilege, for lack of a better term. Which just means that you are able to masquerade as the normative group given certain conditions are met. A lot of being in the closet is using passing privilege to make up a lack of safety, or to trade some personal goals for others (for example career goals). I hope not even those clowns start claiming that being in the closet is a privilege, because thats just basically conversion therapy, trying to tell people they will be happier in the closet no matter what.

It's the same for the disability example that's been used in the post. I am also (mostly) invisibly physically disabled and can, for certain conditions and limited time, pass as abled to protect my privacy and evade ableism. I am still seriously chronically ill and can't do a litany of things because of my physical disability.

The people talking about male privilege are only talking about passing privilege, while merging it with the distinctly radfem belief that living in society as a man is universally easier and more privileged. That is conservative bullshit.

The whole argument in fact hinges on the false, nonsensical, core radical feminism belief that being seen as a woman is universal suffering and being seen as a man is universal heaven, and that some stranger assuming you are a man gives you 10.000€ and a seat in parliament. And if you aren't a woman, you can't even comprehend the suffering they go through, because no ones experience compares even a little.

And as op pointed out, even the people who define womanhood as including trans women in this radical feminist belief system and thus claim authority on transmisogyny are wildly transmisogynistic by their definition of male privilege and other claims, and also transandrophobic and exorsexist and intersexist on top, as well as antifeminist and racist.

It's all nuanced actually, including the pros and cons of passing privilege (again for a lack of better term), and radical feminism is utter bullshit and ultimately conservative.

[therapatical]

also had a wife

source: San Antonio Light. San Antonio, Texas. Wednesday, December 19, 1906

[gettinontopic]

Happy Pride!

Please can anyone help a queer household, with two people of color, pay bills so we can squish our main money to make rent! We all would like to avoid a world we we have to be returned to transphobic or outright unsafe parent households.

We have a month of rent, and while we are working on plans and reaching out to housing help, any help to pay side bills so main checks can be saved would be appreciated.

My partner cashapp since mine locked me out being weird: @.stalefrybasket

Goal is 250 if we can swing that much to cover power bill, phone bills (needed for job calls).

If you can't share a boost is appreciated.

$0/250

[gettinontopic]

$20/250 Thank you so much to everyone whos shared.

No donation is too small in these hard times and even a little goes a long way

[therapatical]

"The hand of the law reached out yesterday for the second time in two years and a half and blotted out for her the life of a man"

"I have harmed no one; I will harm no one. I cannot be a woman."

source: The San Bernardino County Sun. San Bernardino, California. Tuesday, June 1st, 1920

article continued under the cut