𝕃𝕆𝕍𝔼 𝕀𝕊 𝕌ℕ𝕂𝕀ℕ𝔻 PROLOGUE
SYNOPSIS: Play my memory.You’ve loved him for as long as you can remember. Long enough to mistake hope for patience. Long enough to outgrow the little girl he never stopped seeing. He never broke your heart. He just never noticed he was holding it. So you decide it’s time to let go. And who better to help you move on than Jungkook himself? After all, if anyone knows you… it should be him. Love is unkind.Especially when the person you’re trying to forget is the one teaching you how to love someone else.
Pairing: Older best friend brother! Jungkook x inexperienced! fem reader
Genre: Angst, Brother’s best friend, Unrequited love, Mutual pining, Slow burn, Friends to lovers, Jealousy, Romance, SMUT , Sexual Tension, age gape ( a tiny age gape yn is 22 and jk 25), College AU
Warnings: Angst, Sexual comments / harassment (the boy’s comment at school), Overprotective behavior, Mention of bullying / inappropriate comments, Body insecurity ( breast insecurity), Period-related embarrassment (first menstruation), Unrequited love, Childhood crush / childhood friends to lovers, Minor violence (a slap), Emotional pain / heartbreak
Words count: ~2.5k
You knew what love was.
You loved your parents. You loved your brother. You loved the worn-out plush toy you still kept hidden in your closet. At least,you thought you did.
Then he appeared in your life quietly, without permission and without asking. He didn’t try to change anything. He simply existed in your life, and somehow that was enough to shift the meaning of the word forever.
You loved him for as long as you can remember.
You were eight the first time you met him. He was ten.
It was late afternoon. The summer heat clung to your skin and your clothes. Your helmet was a little too tight, digging into your temples as you rode your bike down the street. It was an embarrassingly pink and deep purple bike, the kind of girly thing most kids would have mocked, but you were proud of it. You had customized it yourself with glitter stickers, carefully placing each one until it looked like something out of that cartoon where the little girl played doctor with her toys.
The front wheel hit something in the grass. You went down hard, your knee stinging as tears welled up before you could stop them. You only realized he was there when he was already crouched in front of you. He must have been inside playing on the console with Taehyung. He didn’t say much. He just pulled a band-aid from the pocket of his pants, the kind he always seemed to have because of how roughly he and your brother played, and carefully pressed it over the scrape.
“Your bike’s actually really cool,” he just said .
His words took you by surprise. The tears slowed, and you stared at him for a second before managing a small smile. He smiled back just as Taehyung’s voice shouted from the house.
“JK! Street Fighter’s starting again! Hurry up!”
Jungkook gave you one last look, then stood and ran back inside.
You stayed there on the warm grass, knee still stinging, heart doing something it had never done before.
Looking back, you don’t think that was the moment you fell in love with him. You think it was simply the first time your heart learned his name. You didn’t know it then, but some people entered your life quietly and stayed there forever.
By the time you were thirteen, Jungkook had already become someone you looked for without realizing it.
History had dragged on forever. Your head already ached by the time the cramps settled deep in your stomach. By the time the bell rang, it was persistent and sharp. You stood up with everyone else, one hand clutching your bag, the other pressed against your stomach as you left the classroom. There were whispers behind you, soft and disgusted giggles.
You glanced over your shoulder once. Then twice. Nothing seemed out of place. You turned a few times, confused, not understanding why people were laughing. You were wearing your favorite white summer dress that day. You were in the school hallway. Suddenly, you felt someone behind you. A hand gently but firmly guided you to the side, guiding you toward the girls’ bathroom before you could protest. You turned around, ready to ask what was happening, and found Jungkook standing there. Heat rushed to your face so fast it almost hurt.
“You..you’re in the girls’ bathroom,” you said, voice smaller than you wanted.
He didn’t answer right away. Instead, he quietly pulled off his hoodie and tied it around your waist without a word. Only then did he speak.
“You’ve got blood on your dress. I already asked Taehyung to get the school nurse. ”
You frowned, the realization hitting you all at once. You thanked him quietly, cheeks still burning. He didn’t look embarrassed at all.
“Aren’t you… weirded out?” you asked.
He shook his head. “No. It’s natural. It’s normal.”
You hesitated. “Then why are you doing this?”
His eyebrows pulled together slightly, like the question itself confused him.
“Why wouldn’t I?”
A beat passed.
“You’re like my little sister.”
It hurt in a place the cramps couldn’t reach. Like his little sister. The rest of the day passed in a blur. You went home with Taehyung, who was already talking about the video games he wanted to play. You went straight to your room, closed the door, and sat there with the physical pain and the new, quieter ache in your heart.
Looking back, you don’t think those words hurt because they were cruel. They hurt because he meant every single one of them.
You were fifteen, still trying to figure out your own body, and he was already seventeen.
It was summer break, and you had bought several new bikinis, hoping to look cool like the girls in your class. That morning you put on a yellow triangle bikini with white polka dots. Your body had changed… at least a little. You stood in front of the mirror for a long time, not quite sure of yourself. It didn’t look the way it did in movies, or the way it looked on the other girls. You thought you looked like a toddler, that was a little bit embarrassing.
You adjusted the straps as best as you could, grabbed your towel and sunscreen, and went downstairs. Taehyung and Jungkook were already in the open kitchen. They had changed too. They was taller and broader.
Both of them shirtless in swim shorts. You noticed the veins along Jungkook’s arms, the way his chest looked in the afternoon light, and quickly looked away before you could stare too long.
Taehyung laughed and turned around, holding two tiny tangerines against his chest.
“Hey, look Jungkook!”
Your face burned. You frowned hard, fighting the sudden sting behind your eyes.
“At least I actually have something to show,” you said, trying to sound steady. You rolled your eyes and forced a grimace. Taehyung immediately started complaining. Jungkook stayed silent, looking faintly surprised. He stayed silent.
You turned around and went back upstairs, furious and ashamed. When you came down again, you were wearing a top over the bikini.
Later the three of you ended up in the pool. For a while it was easy. You were laughing, splashing…Almost normal.
Then his girlfriend arrived. She was his first. She was your age. Beautiful, of course. Kind. She looked like a woman in her red bikini. She smiled at him before he even reached her. He smiled back. Effortlessly. You had never seen that smile before. Your chest tightened the moment you saw them hug, the way they kissed like it was the most natural thing in the world.
You stood up too quickly.
“I’m out of breath,” you muttered, and left the pool without waiting for an answer.
You locked yourself in your room and cried for the rest of the afternoon, listening to their voices and laughter continuing outside until the sun went down.
Looking back, you wasn’t crying because of Tae’s joke.. You cried because, for the first time, you saw the kind of girl Jungkook loved.
A year later, the hurt you had carried quietly finally turned into anger. You were walking home with Taehyung and Jungkook after school when a boy from your year called out behind you. “Damn, you’ve got a nice ass!”
Taehyung turned around immediately, glaring at him. “Ignore him. He’s an idiot.” He kept walking. Jungkook didn’t say a word.
You didn’t notice the way his jaw tightened, or how his fists curled at his sides. All you remembered was his silence. For a second, you waited. You thought he might say something. Anything. He never did.
By the time you reached home, you’d already convinced yourself you had imagined the disappointment. After all, he had no reason to care.
A year passed.By then, you had still never had a boyfriend. You watched the girls around you pair off, whispering about first kisses and everything that came after, while you remained on the sidelines. One boy in your year started paying attention to you. He laughed at your jokes, found excuses to walk with you after class. You were almost certain he was going to ask you out. Instead, he disappeared…No messages. No explanation. Just silence. You didn’t know whether to confront him or pretend you didn’t care. You never got the chance to decide.
A few days later, another boy who used to greet you in the hallways suddenly stopped looking your way. Then, by accident, you overheard two boys talking near the lockers.
Jungkook had told them to stay away from you.
The anger hit so hard your hands began to shake. You went straight to his house this night. The moment he opened the door, you didn’t give him a chance to speak.
“You have no right,” you snapped, you pointed your index right at him.“You’re not my father. Would you have done the same thing if I liked girls?”
He looked at you for a long second.
“Oh please.I’ve been a sixteen-year-old boy.”
His voice was calm. “I know how they think.”
“They weren’t trying to be your friend.”
“You don’t know that!” you shot back.
“I do.”
“No, you don’t!”
His jaw tightened, but he never raised his voice. He never raised his voice at you. “I’m trying to protect you.”
“I never asked you to!”Something inside you finally gave way. Before you even realized what you were doing, your hand struck his cheek. The sound echoed between the walls. Neither of you moved.
Jungkook slowly turned his face back toward you. He didn’t look angry, surprised. He just looked… hurt. You hated that expression. Because it almost made you apologize. Instead, you turned around and walked away, tears already blurring your vision before you reached the bottom of the stairs.
Looking back, you think he was just an eighteen-year-old boy trying to protect the little sister he had always seen you as.. The cruel part wasn’t that he wanted to protect you. It was that he never realized you needed protecting from loving him.
You never talked about that day again. Not because either of you had forgotten. You simply grew older. High school came to an end. Tae and Jungkook started university. A year later, you followed. Just like always, they stayed side by side. Same classes with same friends, they were always together. The years passed faster than you expected. Then,Taehyung and Jungkook started their master’s degrees. You made it to your third year.
Somewhere things changed. You weren’t just the little sister following behind Taehyung and Jungkook anymore. You made friends of your own. You built your own routines. You found your own place at university…But some things stayed the same. The three of you still shared a circle of friends. Not in the same way as before, when you were the kid tagging along after two older boys. You had your own friendships now.
You used to think that, once you grew up, things would change. That distance would make it easier. But Jungkook never really disappeared from your life. He was still there at family dinners, birthday dinners.. Still there during group outings. Still there in the conversations that started in Taehyung’s group chat and somehow ended with everyone showing up. Still the person your eyes searched for without permission. Still the person who could make your heart hurt without even trying. Jungkook …still Jungkook.
By twenty-two, you’d accepted two things. You loved Jungkook. And Jungkook would never love you back.
After fourteen years, your love no longer felt like hope. It felt like habit. And habits were the hardest things to break. So, for the first time in your life…
You decided it was time to let him go.