Peter, innocently: Yes Mr. Stark?
Tony: I bought you every single piece of your outfit down to the pocket square. Why on Earth are you wearing pink socks to a black tie event?
Peter: Cuz it was the closest thing to white I had?
Tony: I gave you BLACK SOCKS. I thought it was ridiculous to buy you socks because surely you could at least manage that on your own, but Pepper insisted. What on Earth could you have done to them??
Peter: They were realllly nice socks. Like best I've ever had, and y'know kicking butt isn't the kindest to the ol' dogs, so I kept them on when I had to suit up
Tony: Still not following.
Peter: It was fine until Jack O'Lantern decided to hit me with an itching powder attack. If anyone's a menace it's that guy!
Tony: So you wash the socks. What's the problem here
Peter: I did do that! And then I dried them and they turned into little baby socks...
Tony: High heat on natural fibers, kid? I thought you were a scientist
Peter: Well I needed them to dry fast. I kinda just cranked it all the way up
Tony: Why didn't you just use another pair of black socks?
Tony: You don't—whatever, I don't have time to get into that. Why didn't you buy some then?
Peter: I didn't bring my wallet tonight because Pepper said it would mess with the lines of my suit
Tony: Peter when was this...
Peter: During the speeches
Tony: Whose speech? I just got off stage
Peter: Yep! You talked for the duration of a delicate wash spin cycle, a very quick dry, and a web-sling back here
Peter: By the way Jack O'Lantern tried to attack the event. He's webbed to the lamppost outside waiting for the cops
Tony: In all honesty I'm just surprised you managed to show up at all. Just don't let anyone take pictures of your ankles tonight