It'll be 3 weeks since they started dating on Sunday.
Things between Tippy and I have gotten a little better, and he said he still wants me in his life. He admitted that he used me for sex, and never saw us in a romantic relationship. I told him that I knew he was distancing himself from me months ago, should have ended sleeping with him then; and we both made mistakes. He agreed.
From what Tippy was telling me, his girlfriend is very insecure (🚩), she's tracking him via SnapChat (🚩), and blowing up his phone with text messages (🚩). Then there's the issue of their work schedules, he works all the time at Compton and she works 12 hour days (🚩) as a nurse. Another issue he's having is that she lives in Plymouth (🚩), which is 30-45 minutes from him. He didn't like it when I lived in Lakeville, and Plymouth is 12 miles from there. She still lives at home with her grandparents (🚩).
I think they're moving way too fast.
He came over last night, and while we did fight some, we played cards and talked. She told him she was going to bed at 7:30, but then spent the rest of the night blowing up his phone. I explained that she's insecure, which he didn't like to hear. I warned him against sleeping with her, which they've already had sex two weeks after getting together. I kept reminding him that she can get pregnant, which made him angry. He was convinced that I was trying to get him to break up with her because I was trying to convince him that she's trying to trap him into a marriage and a baby. I said no, I wasn't saying that. I don't want to see what happened to me happen to him.
Then he's having to deal with her being on her period, which is new to him, and he doesn't know how to handle her. He's hoping that once its over with, she'll go back to being "normal". I told him, no it won't and that things will just get worse, which set him off. I calmed him down, but I needed to watch what I said.
Just before he left, we were talking and I said "Hypothetically, say you two break up; would there be a chance for the two of us to be in a relationship? Not like what we had before, but a real relationship." and his reply was "I don't know." He's exhausted, dealing with her insecurities and work. I saw it in his eyes last night, and while I did feel sorry for him some, I knew he'd done it to himself.
He wants to see me once a month, come over and play cards and talk. I agreed, if it keeps him in my life. He told me he cares about me, would be devastated if something were to happen to me, and just wants me to be happy. I explained that I've stopped eating and I've stopped sleeping, too stressed out to deal with anything. He was extremely angry to hear I haven't been eating, making sure I ate a few bites of a piece of pizza. I explained that the person who made me happy was standing in front of me. He kept hugging me, even letting me kiss him on the cheek.
I saw tons of red flags in their relationship just from talking with him, one being he was able to steal her away from his former best friend whom she had been dating (🚩). If it was that easy for her to look at another guy, then it'll be easy for her to leave him for another guy. However, I see Tippy ending things because he won't be able to handle her being insecure. He couldn't handle me when I was being insecure, he's not going to handle her being that way for too long. They're moving way too fast, having already fucked each other after two weeks of dating (🚩). He pulled out before cumming in her, but unless he buys condoms, he's gonna be a daddy soon. Oh she's on birth control, but that doesn't really matter. He'd said on Tuesday morning when he came over to drop some stuff off that while the sex was okay with her, it still felt like a chore and it was better with me because he didn't have to pull out. I also gave better blow jobs, and he lasted longer with me. He didn't like that he didn't last that long with her. He basically told me I was better than she was in bed.
He's spending today with her, then he works this weekend. I asked how was he going to deal with coming to see me once a month when she's against it, and he said, "I'll figure something out, perhaps saying I'm playing golf with Gabe." He had a lie right there on the tip of his tongue. That's also not a good sign (🚩).
I told him to never change, not for anyone and if anyone ever asks him to change, that that's not love. That's control. She's very (and I'm going to use the word he used) "protective" of him. I heard that and said, "You mean possessive of you?" and he nodded his head. (🚩). That he's cleaned his apartment for her, and I asked if she asked him to and he said, yes but that he wanted to. He explained that he sees her and its like a bolt of lightning hitting him. I told him what that is is called infatuation, and it will pass. He tried telling that she makes him happy and wants to be a better person. Again, infatuation.
He explained that while I did make him happy, it was in the moment. Then when he would leave, the feeling would go away. I said that was because he was sad that he had to leave me and he went back to being himself. I said, I never lied to you not in the five years we were together and I wasn't going to start now. I gave him space, trying not to bother him and letting him discover himself. I explained that anything and everything I did was for him and for us. I went back to school so I could get a better paying job so we could be financially stable. I stood behind him in everything he ever did, wanting him to pursue his dreams and reach for them. I explained that why I wasn't too keen on the idea of him getting a job in another city, I kept my thoughts to myself because I knew it was something he wanted.
I could tell by the time he left, he was having doubts about his choices himself. And by him wanting me in his life, no matter how badly she's against it, speaks volumes.
I'm not to post anything about him on Facebook anymore, per his request. I said that I wouldn't. (He doesn't know about tumblr.) Apparently, his sister saw a post where I exclaimed that it wasn't even two weeks and they were fucking one another already. She sent him a text asking, "Did you get any ass last night?" I hadn't even known she knew about me, let alone was stalking me on Facebook. He thought I bugged his apartment because I knew things that no one else did, mainly because they had just either discuss it or done it (like sex). I'm just looking at him, like really dude?! I'm a woman, I'm intelligent and I've been around the block before.
He came over on Tuesday, we talked and I explained that my body gets very aroused when he's around. I apologized for it, saying that why I would love to suck his cock right now and knowing I couldn't, that I needed to take care of how wet I was. I told him he didn't need to leave, which he didn't. He sat in my chair, and listened to me as I played with myself. He didn't watch, but just him staying so I could finish the itch, again speaks volumes. I texted him later in the day, saying that while he said he couldn't help me, did he want to? He said "truthfully not really". Not quite the answer I was expecting, but at least he was honest with me. Surprisingly, I wasn't too upset over that either.
He did get somewhat upset when I kept mentioning that I wanted to suck his cock and have sex with him last night, saying that was why his girlfriend didn't trust me. She thought something was going to happen between us, and I told him that if something were to happen between us, that it would be with his consent; otherwise, that would be rape and I'm not into that. I would never rape him, no matter how badly my body wants him. I would never give in to my desires, unless he told me it was okay.
I think he's trying to be as loyal as possible to her, but he does desire me. His comments from Tuesday proves that, as well as him not leaving while I was masturbating in front of him. He said as we walked out the door that morning, that he wanted to flick my nipples and asked me what would I have done? I said probably moan louder, lol.
I don't know what the future has in store for us, but whatever it is I hope its good.
