XVII

You are delicate, like glass rebuild { canon divergent } kaworu nagisa of nge

[tsukiiru-blog]

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[tsukiiru-blog]

< ??? >

It’s sad to see. The guy seems to be in a worse state than Shinji could see at first. He wants to get a better look at his face, but Shinji allows him to keep some dignity after that rough tumble, so he doesn’t pry. He’ll save that for when he gets a chance to look at him under some proper light.  “I’m offering to take you somewhere that’s safer. We’ll take anybody in. We’re in this hellhole together, so there’s no reason for us to avoid helping each other. We have plenty of food and water, so…” Shinji putters out. He doesn’t have a good constitution in making words sound convincing, but damn it, he’s not going to argue over the matter of safety and well-being with a total stranger. Forget any formalities about it, while he’s at it. Shinji has seen too much to let something like this go right past him. Never mind his familiar sounding voice. 

Shinji had begun getting antsy himself being out in the open like this, and he has to cover another cough when his lungs began to feel too tight again. But the choice was an easy one to make: Shinji grabs the guy’s hand and begins tugging him back towards the lift. 

“Let me make sure you’re okay, and you can do whatever you want after that.“

      Kaworu isn’t given much of a choice in this situation, as he almost feels obligated to be tugged along by the other. The warmth is welcoming, their palms pressed together; Kaworu’s fingers instinctively wrapping around the others hand. His feet are pulled forward and he picks up his pace to follow behind the male. A smile graces Kaworu’s lips, almost turning his hesitance into joy.

   “ ...Thank you. Your kindness is not taken for granted. ” Kaworu replies in a singsong way. His feet sift through the dirt, his legs feeling like jelly from both his stumble and lasting fatigue. He hasn’t had a proper rest in what feels like ages, even though the concept of sleep doesn’t even come naturally to him for some odd reason. Not since he was spat out into the deserted landscape of reality.

      “ I really hope I don’t act as a burden, if not dead weight. I’m a bit overwhelmed. ” Overwhelmed? Kaworu isn’t sure if that’s the right word to describe his situation. Hello, yes, I’ve come a long way to find someone I’ve lost; I don’t eat and I don’t sleep but I’m very tired-- The truth was ludicrous. Kaworu would easily be turned away for alienation of vocabulary itself. His head hurts.

   “ ...Your hands are warm. ”

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[than3tos-blog]

tsukiiru:

< ??? >

Shinji stares at first, mouth agape. The voice was beginning to sound more and more familiar, bringing with it the equally familiar pain of having lost something. Something very important. Moreover, Shinji didn’t believe he could fully embrace the experience of feeling such things anymore, after having been dulled of feeling it nonstop for years. Like a hunger gone ignored.  It’s too soon to concern himself with that. More importantly, it looks like another wandering survivor–few as there are now, but one will occasionally make their way across the plains. And they will need to be brought back to base for their own safety, plus a medical evaluation. The stranger doesn’t appear to have any protective equipment, or anything at all, and it looks like he has been out here for days…

“…Oof. Are you okay?” Shinji asks dumbly again, although with a renewed purpose for the fact that the guy went down. He doesn’t hesitate to help him back up, either, extending his hand. 

“Come on. You shouldn’t–ugh–” Shinji paused, turning his head to wheeze softly, before continuing, “you shouldn’t be out here like this by yourself.” 

[tsukiiru-blog]

      Kaworu isn’t so much embarrassed as he is stunned. His coordination is obviously lacking and his head spins a bit as he tries to regain his composure. Dirt smears along the front of his shirt and jacket, and smudges on his cheeks as well. He spits out the red sediment from his mouth and crinkles his nose as he pushes himself up.

   He reluctantly takes the others hand, pulling himself to his feet and expecting himself from head to toe. Grace was always his forte but that impression has flown out the window. He must look like a klutz.

      “ Thank you... Again, I apologize. ” Kaworu restated before he brushes himself off. It doesn’t do much good since these clothes are already stained and torn.

   “ You don’t need to help me. I can simply be on my way. ” Pulling the hood over tightly, he briefly makes eye contact with the raspy sounding gentleman.

[tsukiiru-blog]

< ??? >

It’s the same ugly red landscape that Shinji has accustomed himself to, now glowing with an eerie amber haze as the sun begins to set. Time to clock in, as dusk allows the best window to access the surface.  It’s far too hot during the day, and temperatures plummet in the evening. So dusk is the compromise. 

The last remnants of light are suitable enough for collecting data, anyway.  Shinji doesn’t come up by himself, either. His team will venture to the surface with him, but Shinji will almost always split off to work alone. The rest, all able-bodied and in healthy condition in comparison, will section off a new area to begin digging, looking for any resources. Land to be reclaimed.  It’s just like digging up a grave, if Shinji really wants to think about it. Which he does, but he doesn’t actually want to, no. 

In fact, Shinji doesn’t think too much about things at all, unless it’s job related. All he needs to focus on is passing his handheld scanner over topsoil. Dig out any slightly less red-looking samples, if he can find any. When the scanner’s task is complete, it beeps. Shinji moves to a new section, pausing only when his breathing hitches and he needs to cough into his sleeve.  Relatively speaking, his existence is pretty simple.

      Kaworu exhales slowly, his breath muffled into the neck of his coat. Breathing was even a chore it seemed. The minor things seem more vivid than before. Even the wet of his tongue seemed so foreign as it brushed along the inside of his lower lip.

   He can’t quite make out the shape in front of him, the voice it belongs to either. It’s scratchy, like a broken record player; hoarse even, like dust has been caked in their throat. But at the same time, it’s a voice that makes his heart beat a little faster and he can swear there’s a soft chime that resides in the echo ringing in his ears.

      There’s no response at first, as Kaworu inhales slowly; the faint smell of a rustic coolant fills his nostrils. He just simply smiles behind the material of his tattered jacket, but it fades just as quickly. Why was that his first reaction?

   “ Yes... I’m alright. Thank you. My hearing isn’t so keen. So I apologize if I startled you. ” His voice is soft, but clear enough to be heard. The faint whisper of the wind brushes past his cheek, making him readjust the hood of his coat.

      “ ...You can ignore me. I will simply be on my way. My apologies again. ” Although Kaworu’s intent to observe the search party was his primary objective, he’s more concerned about the fact that someone may discover how truly out of place he is. For some reason, he almost feared this would’ve happened; feared that he would be discovered.

   But he smiles and turns away briefly-- but doesn’t even realize the bump in the earth that he had been hiding behind, and topples forward into the rusted soil with a soft oof.

[tsukiiru-blog]

do you like angels?? do you like ANGEL BOYS?!?! what about angel boys with constant internal distress?????? then you’ll probably love this boy because he is a literal angel ♡ LIKE AND/OR REBLOG if you’d be willing to play with a canon divergent Kaworu Nagisa from Neon Genesis Evangelion!! I’d love to crush you with sweet angst and tears ♡ { written by Danish! }

[tsukiiru-blog]

@thanat3s // reunite

      Time passes quickly, even in death you don’t have the chance to breathe. Or was death even encountered? It felt like the breath had only been knocked out of him, put him in a restless slumber and choked him of all the senses. It wasn’t as petrifying as most expect, but it wasn’t anything pleasant either.

   It’s cold outside, something Kaworu never thought about on the surface. He hadn’t relied on his body, his Adam form, to keep him in a level of comfort. Comfort was just a fantasy humans put themselves into to remain steady, to remain calm. A lot of humans in this world sought comfort, and Kaworu had once found it himself. In the presence of a certain other.

      He hadn’t been able to approach the bunker, unearthed after Third Impact. Society would pull him out like the runt of the litter; accuse and abuse the sight of something beyond different. He had to stay quiet, at least for awhile. Stay low and keep his head down. He’d accomplished such a task before, hiding on SEELE’s own base many years ( ? ) ago. So this wasn’t anything new.

   But as the angel stands in the brisk evening air, he’s not so concerned for his own safety. Humans feared the dark; but why? Kaworu hadn’t made that discovery for himself yet. Maybe he could find out soon...

      He’s not here to wander, he’s here on an objective. There had been recent groups of humans wandering the surface at this hour; perhaps the weather had lightened up enough for them to scavenge for whatever supplies they need for the community in the bunker. Yes, he has been watching there too, but at a distance. His head hurts a bit too much when he’s staring at the bunker, miles and miles below the cracked surface. So he observes from a safe point, watching and waiting to see if any familiar face comes across his way.

   His steps are barely traceable, he’s as quiet as a ghost as he watches the scout group spread out along the deserted terrain. Staying low to the ground, solid like a rock and undetectable, he can see each direction the group shuffles off to. Surely they’ve dug up enough debris to reveal the solid ground, or Kaworu guesses anyways. His breath is shallow, pulling a tattered coat over his head to stay blended into the dark landscape.

      With a broken memory, there are broken senses. Kaworu doesn’t suspect the footsteps that come from his blindside, until he’s a tad too late. He nearly jumps at a weak voice, turning his head to the side with a quick snap. But he doesn’t run, he doesn’t respond... Kaworu just slowly stands up and pulls the coat closer around his face.

   “ ...Pardon? I’m sorry... I didn’t quite catch that... I apologize. ”

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