WHO MUST DIE ? ☆ PAINFULLY ACCEPTING
this all had to be a bad dream– it just had to be. him ? being forced to pick between his mother & his sister; him the one to pick who would live & who would die ?
he had to pick between his MOTHER ? who he knew, despite her harsh exterior had GRIEVED the loss of his father ( he was gone, he didn’t know how, or why, but he was GONE ). whom despite her hardships, when she had all rights to five up on them, had given her all to singlehandedly raise him & hana, along with shouldering the responsibilities that came with being the head of the clan ? his mother who was stern, harsh, EXTREME, but with the best intentions in mind– knowing that she may be harsh, but the world was even harsher.
or his SISTER ? who had acted the part of a mother whenever their mother couldn’t ? who was forced to grow up before her time in order to keep him safe while their mother was away ? who despite being busy enough to babysit him, found it in her to study, to grow, to SUCCEED in life in ways he hadn’t been able to ? his sister who had FINALLY began realising her childhood dream after years of tumbling in the dark, being set back only to stand once more ?
he doesn’t want to have to pick between EITHER of them.
but even without hearing their screams, their petitions to do the right thing, to pick the other– he knew who he had to chose. she had raised an idiot, but she hadn’t raised a failure.
without uttering a single word, not even allowing himself to LOOK at his mother, hands move to grab ahold of his sister, dragging her away from their mother, FORCING himself to stop her from going back. teeth clench, heart straining & tearing itself apart at his sisters pleads to let her go, to pick again, to chose her.
between the heartbreak & the tough act, he can’t even find the voice in himself to say the words ‘ i’m sorry ‘, to offer tsume any last words, a last GOODBYE. for he knew that if he spoke, the dam that he was trying to hard to hold back for her sake would finally BREAK.
