Dear Dria
I figured here is the best place to vent out my shit into the void. Hopefully no one in my actual life reads this. Anyways here’s to another talking stage gone to shit. It’s like after my one relationship in high school my ability to keep someone around died. I’ve grown so much from that and those days of being in a situationship with the wrong dude. Right when I feel like I’ve got a grasp on my love life and where my head is at it’s like BOOM. Back at square one. Learning my worth and fighting for it in these relations is exhausting as fuck. Choosing to leave and lock the door on these past flings was difficult. But nonetheless I’m proud of myself. I’m just tired of the same lessons and cycles. I feel like I’ve been breaking cycles and healing since before I was dating. While I’m grateful for the growth I can’t front I’m exhausted. I want to be able to let my guard down and really let someone in. I also want to be with someone who is willing to work through shit with me and not just give up at any moment. I want someone who will love me enough to keep trying. I want someone who will grant me emotional security and maturity within our partnership. I want someone who is independent but will choose to make time for me. I want this person to be both a homebody and an outgoing person. I want someone with genuine interest into me who is financially stable and great with kids. I want someone who will see me as I am and continue to choose me no matter what is thrown at us. Here I go again falling asleep at the keys again.
