I enjoy quantifying things. I think it’s important to have a grip on stuff that can run away from us, like money, time, tea bags. However, there is a fine line between productive and counter-productive when measuring weight, BMI, and calories.
There is a general guide on what is a healthy BMI, of course, but I was outraged recently to attend a doctor’s appointment where my BMI was (considered healthy, and) in a range which was “likely to be found most attractive”. I beg your pardon? As an example, my BMI was on the upper scale of ‘healthy’. But what would it have meant if I had reached the pre-delineated limit? Heart problems. Risk of diabetes. Future back issues. And god forbid, I’d leave the range that was determined most attractive. I’m gonna go ahead and say, not necessarily true.
What I love most is the #StrongNotSkinny nu-wave. Let’s evaluate what this looks like, using a simple search on Instagram.
Here, we see girls with what appears to be 0% body fat, revealing chiselled musculature and tanned skin. More power to them! I’m sure they feel great, and don’t they look wonderful. (Don’t get me wrong - fat burning is a side effect of eating protein and lifting weights, but I wish to address a different motive behind changing your body).
What I take issue with is the skinny campaign masquerading behind #StrongNotSkinny, #GirlsWhoLift, #LegDay and #EatCleanTrainMean. There is palpable pressure created by hashtags and pictures like these. It’s the reality of being surrounded by social media which tells us daily how preparing overnight oats is a great use of time between HIIT workouts.
What if I want to have a peanut butter cup with my coffee? Does that mean I have to kill it for 20 extra minutes on the crosstrainer? Having once lived through that reality a few years ago, I know that’s what happens. I also know the dread that accompanies being in social situations where consumption is required, even just for drinks. Ordering vodkas on the rocks, for their low caloric content, is a very dark recollection of mine.
Being thin, I was perceived very differently than how I am at a normal weight. I’ve been hit on with uncomfortable effort, and once told explicitly by a total stranger that I was ‘the only girl he’d fuck in this whole bar’. People in stores told me I had a really pretty face. I’ve been told by peers that I looked great. I’ve been asked to model for a photoshoots. People asked me what was my secret. At this query, I’d respond with something very editorial, like “I cut out sugar, substituted white rice with brown, and worked out 3 times a week!” The real secret was much simpler; I’d stopped eating.
I could spend lots of internet data describing the quiet terror that accompanies eating problems. What I want to write is this: age 23 I have a good grasp on my own body image. I’ve learned a few things about how to deal with the perfect figures presented to us everyday. Right now? I definitely have a stomach. My face doesn’t have hollowed cheeks. There’s a fairly sizeable arse in question. And while I may not be a fan of my facial profile, my upper arms or slight double chin, I feel very good, day in day out. I have energy, because I eat food which gives me energy. I also have some junk food sometimes, and that’s totally ok, I’d climb through ditches for that Reese’s peanut butter cup. I enjoy cycling my Raleigh bike. It feels very nice to be in my skin!
For anyone who’s thinking ‘she’s only justifying her size and pigging out via this self-indulgent blog post’, I can guarantee you this: when I’m 60 and looking back, I’m gonna dream about how I had ice cold beers & guacamole in the sun, and not about your toned shoulders.
I’ve had some problems in the past, and been through a few things, just like everybody else. There is nothing exclusive to me in this blog post, many people in the world can directly relate to this topic and perhaps even some of you reading this right now can also. Hang onto the people who honestly care for you, and go to the effort of telling you things you may not want to hear at the time. There is always someone who wants to help people toss insecurity out the window – you’re reading the words of one such individual.
Wrapping up with Dove’s wonderful Campaign For Real Beauty from 2004, shown above.
Eliza, why are you writing all this?
I wish I had something similar to read when I was going through my low weight days. It’s ok not to be toned, thin and lean. Maybe that’s blatantly obvious to some of you, but I needed some help in that department. Also writing this because tterbazile has evolved into my own real world of opinions and thoughts. Who’d have thunk?
Let’s embrace how we look and who we are!!! Our bodies are amazing things!! And you are exceedingly attractive as a real human.
If you are still not convinced I’m deferring to Nina Simone
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5jI9I03q8E
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