own your reflections

im prone to typos and bad first impressions

[ttscott]

I realized when i let go you reached back for my hand and I think that means it's love or maybe you're cold either way you came back to me

[ttscott]

I need a few thick drinks are they company you keep? don't know why you make those choices you keep deceivin and decide   know that I know what I need know that you should be on my side seems like I was drafting pick you chose the other team don't know what I did but I know what it did to me seeing you running gunning the blues hard steadfast don't know what I did but I know what I feel when you telling me things you shouldn't speak gossip on some bitches you ain't seen it's been a minute since I trusted words you bequeath I know I know I know follow that intuition your heart will guide you home 2am in the 6 and I know you giving him that good conversation you be tongue deep rolling It against your cheeks lips wide and stained your knees on ground telling him stories like now ya down but last week u was celibate u had done so good wit that addiction know you ain't tryna give in but that darkness all round when is bout 4 am where that mouth been gimme kiss me another day don't care for the stories on your brain go ahead tell me another day I know where ya been I see though ya cellophane I get you been round block don't treat noone well but it's past due and the library of my mind won't let you falter when you speak I know I know I know the truth before I ask don't tell me what you did plausible deniability you are slowly killin me

[ttscott]

drinking Malibu on prom night it’s senior year and I’ve known you for most of my life by the beach I can hear the waves moonlight drenching the room something about driving with you were rolling loud rolling down the windows in this sleepy town from the diner to the theatre were silly in public but we don’t care they gawk and gape oh how they talk down our names that’s alright yeah that’s okay were higher than the tide baby making a mess of our Thursday best in the fountain downtown again

we make bad decisions

 stay in the lanes of dangerous

 electricity rolling off your body keeps me spinning in your gravity

 this summer is ours, endlessly

we’re passing cars in the median someone in the back just suggested we slide to a medium super sized our whip rolls in Casadaga where the magic lives all our hands on the crystal ball eyes wide, fortune teller tells no lies “dark souls and lost minds y'all need sage in y’all lives” but we burn it everyday everything in moderation they say but my team maintains the motto excessively uno más, si se puede

we make group decisions stay in the lanes of fun and Fweaky gravity of their heart lines keep them close to me friends become family summer is ours endlessly

[ttscott]

I started eating more and getting out of bed before noon. I stopped worrying so much about my hair. remembering​ my prayers at night, I forgot about the monsters under my bed and the ones down the hall. less television I thought these changes would help more reading I needed something to spark I kept my word I even lost a few pounds but the numbers on the scale didn't tip my faces frown by the beach I sat and thought perhaps if I made these changes I would find myself inspired and rejoiced​ living the dream, success in the days and peaceful at nights, but I still toss and turn I drag myself the same I feel attacked by meandering eyes and alone before the goodbyes I guess sometimes it's not about what you do happiness​ is a way of thinking more than a style of life

[ttscott]

hitch a ride with me climb into the Jeep grab a bikini and your vans join the beach bound caravan drink you down all day pub crawl and we'll stay gotta condo by the water don't worry about tomorrow aye hey I still got your number from last summer been reminiscin on your kisses aloha smile is the only ting she wears twisting groovy hips & we skinny dip out by the river down to the sea we know where and when to be we follow the sun around the island got peaks and valleys but we never stop wilding

[ttscott]

lately I've been sitting with in crowd wow I'm looking for I'm looking for something or another I haven't got a dollar or a rich step father ya they keep telling me now that I'm 18 I can't keep on living like a beauty queen the real world is real mean oh gotta find myself I dont even know where to begin I'm still feeling like a kid guess I never really realized what my age symbolized.

[ttscott]

it's so hard when the night rolls around to about ten & the barrier between us feels like a veil so thin. just a text is all it takes maybe a few emoji to seal our fate. but we know that isn't true and just because I write doesn't mean I'll hear back from you. so maybe I should try and get some sleep before I cry, but it seems to me that every time I weep I leave behind some memories of all those words you carved into me. "hey" & "how ya doing" won't make it right I just wish we could be friends but maybe that isn't wise. once your lovers can you see each other with another? do you remember all those happy times dopamine in our brains and the heart lines of our hands like gravity, all over you and I I'll go to sleep during the hardest time when I know you have your phone when I know you won't pick up. maybe a call is the right move but I missed this chance at love. it'll be alright, in Dawn's fresh light I'll bathe in opportunity and soon enough you'll remember me & shoot me down with words of strife when the winters in full swing and the sex just ain't right with all those strangers you see don't act like that was me. they don't know your heart. they don't know how you see the distance between their thighs and eyes and all the lies you tell to get inside. I mean, it's been a minute but are you really forgetting what it's like to be Young & beautiful we'd lay together playing Pokemon and each other maybe that's the problem too many games of strategy to make you think that love is a competition of who will succeed who will fall. who will be robbed of all their dignity and son when the rain comes down since midnight showers are what brought us together in the strange and terrific place.

[ttscott]

I'm getting tired of holding my own hand maybe I made a wrong turn in my plan I keep on tripping up and down this land cush the blow, break the fall, be my man I don't need much, just a pair of understanding ears I feel the surge whenever you are near you have got this magnetism thing I'm repulsed as I pull you into my dreams maybe that's love or maybe it's just lust you probably don't think of me that much. but you left bruises on my thighs the last time you kissed me I took pictures I couldn't stop grinning i get giddy silly thinking of your jaunt I'm so in tranced with the way you walk I spent some time working on my thoughts figured out my way back never knew I was lost like a lamb, I had all the wrong trust. city scapes, rock concerts in the station you waved so dopey toward me but I was in a rush I was a fool to drop you like a crush. like the tide and the moon I'm pulled to you slowly, then all too much.

[ttscott]

Trayvon got shot for much less pack of Skittles, it's tasteless

[ttscott]

I bought white sheets

I think about you only every other lover couldn't tell you how long it's been but god I remember every word you whispered I bought white sheets so I could feel a little closer to the way you think. I've been hurt so many times-- don't know why I still cry. I guess it's like laughter and other drugs. just medicine to help me with the pain I'm in when you capsize me effortlessly. sinking my battleships from across the world you target my wounds and pound salt until I melt

[ttscott]

all these drinks handed to me ten in and I'm feeling sorta tipsy smoke a bowl and clear my head oh now I'm right back in this is the danger zone when you know I won't quit I'll keep taking shots right to the face patrón no Smirnoff Im wilding not desperate you know I can handle all these handles I'm tweeting at Bacardi dm'd by your papi suga ma to my right smokin me all damn night I know how the play goes I read the script hell I analyzed that shit and I know what it is you want what it is you won't do and what you want done to you I don't push boundaries I open car doors so you can get out smooth looking flossy front all your friends ya that's just how I do

[ttscott]

now I see all you need is a little faith and dream free your love into the night find your truths let your eyes be easy stay in your lane watch your step love comes first family and friends compassionate every good word is keep the faith save the dreams in a jar allow your heart to be kind minded and your spirit to wonder far

[areyouwitit]

iou ty

i owe you thank you

strawberries wafting the air i wasn’t sure of myself so when you’d hold my hand and say it’s all gonna be okay it’s like you’re a street sweeper cleaning the alleys of my mind that I’ve been afraid to travel even in the daylight

[ttscott]

it scares me the way you say my name

it scares me the way you say my name; it’s like you doodled in the margins. how did you just do that?

I could tell you what it’s like:   Warmth on your shoulders when there’s snow inside your mind. 

ripe, rancid, ridden with remorse for mistakes we never had power over.

wicked in the daylight,

bartering with shadows for space, we sleep together. we see it all coming, even though            “who knows what to expect?”

playing chicken with life. 

[ttscott]

tete-a-tete what a concept lost but not forgotten tete-a-tete whats it mean when we share time you respect what is mine I'll do the same crawl around in your brain tete-a-tete it's more than that serendipity amplifying synchronicity I'll listen patiently tete-a-tete

[ttscott]

you’ve been in my lessons perforated pages been tryna get you out carefully but you keep on fraying need a steady grip cause you get outta hand real quick i’ve been takin note of the way you been noticing jewelry dame you may make an honest man outta me got me rollin into cartier it aint even your birthday or our anniversary it’s just a tuesday and i’m still spending every second wrapped up in it

you’ve been in my lessons i’ve been studying real well won’t catch me in detention can’t afford a suspension got my mind made to be honor roll so i’ll sit down and listen dressing to code and staying outta trouble library books turned in on time when you get a good woman you pay the good price it’s like school all over again the way you got me begging just for five more minutes in bed cartoons with breakfast

you been in my lessons you like when my minds sharp so i’ve been studying hard no hooky for me extra-curriculars just to impress her she’s the teacher and i just wanna pet it so i bring the apple to class eyes front and center when she calls on me i answer like yes ma’am thats just respectful trapped down every detail every facet i’m ready for that essay test keep staring at that asset whens she’s lecturing in my brain like she just S-A-T on my L-A-P at my desk I can't believe was that just a day dream? i can’t believe she’s my lady cleopatra antony if i die just like their fate pray that love my soul will take

you’ve been in my lessons running across my mind i keep reading but i never seem to be wit it 100 still working on that A+ i’ll sit right here till it’s perfect

[ttscott]

punching stars and throwing wishes in the wind; free range glory growing like stalagmites on our bones. millennialists reigning a golden age of insecurity. give us light and we ignite our lives. finding thrill and seeking truth, we are our own kind. some kids living off midnight oil and ambition. like arrows whizzing through the air, we haven't met our Maximum velocity. you can't stop us. just try to keep up.