I'm away on assignment, but here's a crappy photo of the moon over Manhattan! (at Jackson Heights, New York)
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@tucson-interviewed
I'm away on assignment, but here's a crappy photo of the moon over Manhattan! (at Jackson Heights, New York)
Reader Mail - 10/26/2017
Boy, I forgot how exhausting it is to post interviews on the regs. Is this why I stopped the first time? Could be! Last week’s interview with a beer is going to go down in the record books as a success. BUT it will have an endnote BUT the endnote will be on a page that’s been ripped out to write down a phone number WHICH JUST TURNED OUT TO BE FAKE, SHEILA!!!
Anyway, we’ve got a few question/comments/concerns in this week’s Tucson Interviewed Mail Mailbag. Maybe this will just be the site from now on, some kind of desert take on a Dear Abby type sitch?
Onward we go!
Tucson Interviewed: Dragoon Brewing’s Les Mains, a Sour Blonde Beer
It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that beer is exploding all around Tucson. Normally this is a bad thing, but under my context, it is a good thing. When the opportunity to do this interview came up, I wasn’t sure if I would, or should, take it. After all, I don’t drink. I don’t say that with an air of condescension. Ask anyone who knows me and they’ll tell you that I’m horribly, horribly depressed and will eventually need to seek out treatment. Ha. Ha. Haha.
On Sunday, October 15th, I sat down with the newest member of the Dragoon Brewing family, a barrel-aged sour blonde beer. It was an interesting conversation, especially because, again, I am not a drinker. Due to this fact, I realized that there would be a lot of backbiting about this interview amongst all of the interview fan communities, especially those online. They’ll say I was paid for this discussion and that it’s nothing more than a glorified commercial. They’ll say that this makes me a sell-out.
But I was not compensated for this interview, so you watch it with the accusations that you make. Am I an a-hole? Yes, absolutely. Am I corrupt? Not at all. Also, I don’t drink. I feel like I have to keep reminding you all of that fact.
Tucson, I want you to put your hands together (unless you have a glass in one, in which case slap your free hand against your thigh), this is Dragoon Brewing’s Les Mains, a Sour Blonde Beer interviewed!
Catfish Baruni: I’m told you have a theme song or something along those lines. Do you want to start with that?
Les Mains: [sings] West of I-10 I was brewed and aged/in the barrel room I spent most of my days/chilling on oak that used to hold chardonnay--
CB: That’s enough. We get it: you’ve seen The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
LM: Once again, alone in the dark for years. Lots of TV.
CB: That’s the title of my autobiography: Alone in the Dark for Years.
Tucson Interviewed: A Saguaro Cactus Rejected by an Online Retailer
On September 13th, 2017, Sun Corridor Inc., an economic development organization representing southern Arizona, sent a 21-foot saguaro cactus to online behemoth retailer Amazon as part of an effort to woo the company into building their announced second headquarters in Tucson. Less than a week later, the saguaro was rejected by Amazon and being re-gifted to the Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum.
Huh, I remember thinking to myself, I think I have an idea of what that might feel like.
The saguaro turned out to be elusive, though, turning down all requests for interviews. A spokesperson called for respect for privacy and blah blah blah. Obviously, I wasn’t going to let this stop me.
It wasn’t easy, and don’t ask how I did it (but obviously I would have an answer if you asked and I decided to tell you), but this is A Saguaro Cactus Rejected by an Online Retailer Interviewed!
Catfish Baruni: Hey, bud. You doing okay?
Saguaro Cactus: Huh? Who are you? How did you get in here?
CB: Oh, it’s okay—I’m *supposed* to be here.
SC: Oh, okay.
CB: Also, I brought beer.
SC: Oh, thank God.
Reader Mail –
Wow, what an overwhelming response to Tucson Interviewed's return to interviewing! I think it might be the most read interview I've done. Is there a way to track things on the internet? Actually, I hope not. That kind of power could easily be abused if it fell into the wrong hands. Anyway, this week I'll be answering some Reader Mail that was received regarding last week’s interview with Catfish Baruni. Next week I'll be back with a brand new interview! You won't want to miss it.
And now, the mail...
Ryan L. from Tucson, A. writes:
I enjoy that you say some people won’t drive past Swan, then say you don’t want to go to the Pima County Fair because it’s too far.
You used to be one of us, man... you’ve changed.
Reader Questions
Soliciting questions from readers for the next interview subject, the identity of whom you will learn when reading the next interview.
Examples include: "What was it like to work with Alfred Molina?" "What's your favorite mid-level hotel chain?" "Etc?"
Tucson Interviewed: Catfish Baruni
In this stop-and-go world we find ourselves in, non-stop going only serves to confuse and confound the people. "Why does that thing not stop? It only goes? It only goes!"
I wish I could say that's why Tucson Interviewed has been on a hiatus for a wee bit of time*. But that's not the case. Like many things in my life, I was better at the "stop" than at the "go."
Womp womp.
But this is no pity party (that's next Tuesday; please remember to bring a side dish!). This is a celebration, because we're back, baby!!! And who else would be more fitting to interview for the return of Tucson Interviewed than the founder of Tucson Interviewed?
Tucson Interviewed, put your hands together, because this is Catfish Baruni interviewed...
Catfish: Catfish Baruni, after a long hiatus, you are your own first interview in a misguided attempt to reboot Tucson Interviewed. If you had readers, they would probably be asking one thing: why am I still reading this?
Catfish Baruni: So this is how we’re starting?
C: I’ll ask the questions, thank you.
CB: Right off the bat we’re just going to give everyone a peek inside the big ol’ tomato can on the top of our neck?
C: Again, I’ll thank you to leave the questions to me.
CB: Fine, fine…
Interviews resuming soonish?
Tucson Interviewed: A Tucson Riot (Bonus Interview)
On Saturday, March 29th, 2014, The University of Arizona athletics squadron geared up and headed out onto the playing area, hoping to win their bout against their competition(s). Ultimately, they were not able to achieve this achievement. Because of this injustice, Tucson Interviewed this is a Tucson Riot interviewed… ——
Catfish: Well?
Tucson Riot: [sits in silence, avoiding eye contact] …
C: You don’t have anything you want to say for yourself?
TR: [silence continues] …
Next time on ‘Tucson Interviewed’ I talk to a Tucson riot…
Tucson Interviewed: A Can of Four Loko (found along the side of the road)
I’m a man. A man who enjoys walking the streets at night, just like the protagonist of a classic rock ballad might. I walk the streets in shadow looking for the light of:
Love
A liquor store sign
The hardware store (because all of the lightbulbs in my home are burned out)
The dark
So I walk and I walk, with my headphones on, listening to other tales of small-town heroes strolling down darkened sidewalks, and I wonder when Bruce or Bob or Tom or Woody will sing about my trials and tribulations. Normally I keep to myself, even when the voices in the dark cry out to me. “You should be in bed sleeping,” I think to myself as I dismiss them, “not crying out at night—don’t you know that other people are trying to sleep?”
But on this particular night, I heard a voice I could not ignore, and dear readers, it is a voice you will not ignore, either (unless you aren’t a reader and are already ignoring this entire premise). Tucson Interviewed, this is A Can of Four Loko (found along the side of the road) interviewed… ——
(Fourco, pictured above)
Catfish: Do I call you “Four Loko”? What should I call you?
Can of Four Loko: Fourco
C: Fourco. Okay.
Tucson Interviewed: Esther Blue Almazán
The first formal theatrical stage production in Tucson, Arizona has a story. Probably. I actually don’t know what it is. It’s not that I don’t care–it’s more a matter of skill and competency. Do you think you can do better? Go ahead, then. Try googling “First theatrical stage production in Tucson” and see what kind of results you get.
Oh, really? No, I wasn’t aware of that. Clearly I did not even bother to perform that search query. Look, friend, I’m not the theatre beat reporter, okay? I’m just a man named after a fish trying to do whatever it is that I’m doing.
I caught up with the subject of this interview as she worked the box office for Borderlands Theater’s production of Maria’s Circular Dance and Trash at the Zuzi Theater. She is a writer, actor, director, co-founder of the Something Something Writers Group, and not 14-years-old. Tucson Interviewed, this is Esther Blue Almazán interviewed…
——
Catfish: We should start and let everyone know for the sake of full disclosure that you and I do know each other
Esther Almazán: Yes
C: Outside of the interviewer-interviewee dynamic
EA: Right, you are my nemesis. [NOTE: I was not aware at the time of the interview that I was the nemesis of Esther]
C: Oh, I’ve been promoted.
EA: [laughs]
Tonight, for sure, a new interview goes up …unless I get hit by a truck.
“Okay, I don't get it?”
That’s incorrect. You not only get it, you love it. In fact, you love it so much that you’re a little embarrassed about it.
“I don't get it.”
That’s not a question.
Tucson Interviewed: A Tucson Traffic Camera
I have to admit that last week’s interview, the debut offering from Tucson Interviewed, was an unmitigated disaster. My first guest, “A” Mountain, walked out mid-interview before I could really get to…
I have some bad news: Cam is no longer with us.
The GOOD NEWS, however, is that a new interview will be posted tonight or tomorrow morning. I wonder what he/she/it will have to say in response to the inane questions I ask. Only one way to find out: ask someone foolish enough to have read the interview once it’s up.
Tucson Interviewed: A Tucson Traffic Camera
Tucson Interviewed: A Tucson Traffic Camera
I have to admit that last week’s interview, the debut offering from Tucson Interviewed, was an unmitigated disaster. My first guest, “A” Mountain, walked out mid-interview before I could really get to the meat of my query.
I felt like a failure. At least nobody died, I told myself.
Yeah, except for my professional journalism career.
After wallowing for a bit, I remembered what my grandmother used to tell me: “Don’t fuck it up again.” If my grandmother was willing to give me a second chance, why couldn’t Tucson?
For this installment, I present to you my interview with a Tucson-ish traffic camera, Traffic Camera #AZ48299.
——
Catfish: Thank you for speaking with me today, Camera #AZ48299.
Traffic Camera: You’re welcome. Thank you for having me Please, call me Cam.
C: Okay, Cam, if you insist. I’d like to start out by asking that you not leave before the interview is finished.
TC: Heh heh. Of course not.