this is entirely @tsukareta-tsu‘s fault. 1400 words of mafia boss erwin soothing his little death messenger’s anxiety.
He’s intent on getting inside and showering. The grime of sweat and cigarette smoke and foreign hands feels sticky on his skin, but he wants to shower with Erwin, and Erwin is taking his time, long strides, phone in hand. The top two buttons of his shirt are undone, his sleeves are rolled up, his hair is slicked back. He’s in charge. He’s been in charge all night, sending Levi off to do his dirty work, sitting in the laps of enemies to give them sweet threats in their drunken ears.
No man that Erwin has disposed of has ever been unwarned. They’ve simply been too foolish to believe that a little pale boy would deliver the hour of their death while he lets them grope between his legs.
Levi stops and looks over his shoulder, but Erwin is still beside the pool, unmoving. He comes back down to his man and stands before him, a silent beggar.
“Good work, darling.” Erwin holds his phone out to show Levi the screen, a completed transaction. A debtor forgiven. A night worthwhile.
Even after a year, he’s not sure how to take praise, so he shrugs his slender shoulders and bites into his bottom lip. It tastes lingeringly of lipstick. He scowls.
Before him, Erwin slips his phone back into his pocket and then takes Levi by the hips, pulling them chest to chest so that he can press a kiss into wavy black hair.
A finger tips Levi’s chin up. “What would you like, darling? You work so hard for me.”
Erwin smiles at him, one of the genuine ones. “After that. Anything you want. Let me spoil you.”
“What if I want the moon?”
“It’s rude to be difficult just for the sake,” Erwin reminds sternly.
Levi bites his lip again and releases it as one of Erwin’s fingers pulls at it. “A home.”
“Thinking about realty at this tender age?”
“Nah, I want your home specifically. I like it a lot.”
“Ah, you’ll drive me out of my own home? I’ll have to buy a new one.”
“Then I’ll want that one, too.”
Levi presses his forehead against the peeking bare chest. “Then they’re all gonna be mine, old man.”
“That’s what I get for picking up stray little boys.”
“Obviously.” He nuzzles now, kisses the skin with an open mouth, tongue acquainting with the soft hairs. Whispers, “You could always fuck me.”
Erwin’s left hand runs highways from his hip to his shoulder, then down his arm to take his own smaller hand. He brings them into a waltz, easily leading, coaxing Levi to follow and Levi will always follow Erwin’s orders, there’s nothing more important in his life. Erwin’s prosperity is the reason Levi can stomach the pawing, the kisses, everything about being the Smith capofamiglia’s messenger boy. All the spoils are extra.
“Why should I?” Erwin’s tone isn’t hard, but rather, a soft humouring, an offer for Levi to explain to open ears.
You own me, Levi wants to say. I am at your mercy. I live and breathe by your words. You saved my life. Instead, he asks, “Aren’t you curious?”
Erwin twirls Levi and then embraces him from behind, arms two immovable bars of protection like that of the jail cell he’d bailed Levi out of. They sway to unheard music, to traffic and cicadas, to the churning of the pool water beside them.
Levi tucks his chin against his chest, embarassed at his transparency. “What makes you think I’m scared?”
“You’ve got that wild look in your eye.” A hot kiss to the exposed nape, a wet tongue on the first thoracic vertebrae. “Like a child that wants to stuff his pockets before the shop owner finds him and throws him out for stealing.”
“Fuck off,” Levi breathes, thoroughly vulnerable under Erwin’s scrutiny. There is no hiding, but he knows that, and he welcomes this terrible invasion of privacy, his very thoughts laid out like textbooks before this intelligent mind.
“It’s alright to be scared.”
“You think I’ll leave you.”
It’s like a fist into his gut, leaving him winded. It’s one thing for Levi to think this, to mull over his stewing fear, but it’s another for Erwin to speak it.
Erwin doesn’t leave him hanging for too long, just long enough for Levi to remember that there’s never any point in lying to him because he knows all of these truths before Levi can realise them within himself. “I won’t leave you, darling.”
Levi gives up the fight, turning himself around in the circles of strong arms so that he can lock his fingers together on his man’s nape. He begs, “Don’t leave me, Erwin.”
“Don’t let me go. You’re all I have. I… please… keep me.” Levi wants to wretch himself away and run, to give into the destructive burn of anxiety, but he feels hot desperation blooming and building steam in his body. He pushes in impossibly closer, needing to melt into Erwin’s skin like butter, to be absorbed and utilised and digested.
“I will keep you, darling.”
“Keep me,” Levi asks again, consonants caught on breath, a single decibel from inaudible.
“I’ll have you buried beside me.”
Levi shakes his head too rapidly. It’s not enough. “Take me with you when you die.”
Erwin brings one hand to the back of Levi’s head, cupping, quieting, calming, holding him still. “I will.”
“Promise. Anything you want, my love.”
“I need you so much, Erwin.”
“I want you to need me as badly as I need you,” Levi chokes out, holding in the tears that want to seep out. “They kill messengers these days. Am I disposable to you?”
“No. No one will hurt you, Levi. They know I would bring hell upon them.” Firm hands frame Levi’s face and pull it up, force him to make eye contact even through the tears. “I know it scares you, darling, but this is how I need you to serve me.”
“Is there any other way?” Levi asks, too loud, too forceful for his small body, so he shakes, he shivers with adrenaline, hands finding purchase in the collar of Erwin’s shirt and bunching it.
“You are in no danger.” Erwin touches their foreheads together. “You belong to me. You are safe.”
“Don’t send me back out again. Please. That’s what I want. That’s what I’m asking for. Don’t put me out there again.” Now that the truth is spilling, he’s breaking, splitting the dam of his reservoir right in half. “Keep me, Erwin, you own me. Just let me–”
Erwin leads them one step back.
“–belong to you. I don’t–”
“–want anything but you–”
Another, and a terrifying moment of freefall before the water wraps its chilling arms around them. The pool is deep, Levi knows, and he grabs Erwin tighter, gasping for air as soon as they resurface.
“I can’t swim,” Levi whines, clinging.
“I know.” Erwin hoists him up by his underarms and Levi wraps his legs around his chest, arms now circling Erwin’s head. Like this, he’s in the rare position to look down at Erwin.
“You said you wanted a shower.”
“This is chlorinated, it’s not the same.”
“Then it’s cleansing. Repent of your sins, my love.”
Levi shivers. Just a moment ago, he was overheating, but now, he’s soothed, if a little shaken. “I’m already a virgin, I’m as holy as it gets.”
“Ave Levi, gratia plena,” Erwin prays, prays to his boy with piercing eyes. “Holy Levi, full of grace.”
Leaning with a predatory gaze, Levi takes a hard-earned kiss. “I’ll forgive you if you keep me safe.”
“You are safe,” Erwin says, so genuine that it aches for Levi to harbour any doubt.
“Then just keep me, Erwin, forever and ever.”
“I’ll keep you, and you’ll do as I say. You’ll continue to follow my orders.” Erwin kisses the underside of his smooth jaw. “Forever and ever. Amen.”
Levi closes his eyes in unwavering acceptance. He has no other choice than to trust. Erwin gives him no other options. If Erwin promises anything, promises safety and a home, then he will deliver. Levi will not be foolish like the dead men who didn’t pay their debts.
Against Erwin’s lips, he absolves, “Amen.”
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