Homestuck Good

Ya girl’s Homestuck imagine blog [formerly friend-me-fuck-me] Would suck Dirk Strider’s dick for bus money and WALK Founder and leader of the Church of Friendsim Volume 11

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We are so fucking back. Anyway here’s a rent lowering gunshot

If you complain about Hazbin being too vulgar annoying or cringe, you’re a fake Homestuck fan. It’s vulgar and annoying and cringe by nature and that’s a good thing

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I’m thinking this is the result of troll/cherub interbreeding, how bout y’all?

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If you're okay with getting another yandere request, what about Yandere!Terezi?

I feel like I butchered her I’m so sorry, plz forgive me dragon queen

Terezi Pyrope:

- Roleplays extremely intricate courtroom scenes where the defendant is anyone who gets too close to you. She’s the persecution, obviously, and she always manages to find something worth executing the poor sap she’s got on trial. If anyone mentions how these scenes are just excuses to list every single misdeed they’ve ever done to you, they get a much speedier trial with a much more painful ending.

- You can’t hide anything from her. Doesn’t matter how long you shower, she can smell if you’ve been sneaking off to see someone else from a mile away. She won’t drag you onto the judicial chopping block (not to say she won’t do just that to your companion) but she just can’t let you get away with breaking the rules like that. Chaining you up or tying you down with slipknots so it hurts to pull away isn’t exactly her preference, but she won’t shy away from it either.

- She draws you, she draws on you, she draws near you. She demands your attention be put towards her art, and if she thinks you’re not paying enough attention, she’ll just hold you down and make YOU into the art. If you squirm away when she inevitably licks some of the chalk off of your face, it doesn’t bother her! That just means she’s going to have to keep doing it until you sit still long enough for her to finish the drawing.

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zhxhxjfbdnxnnchxbcbcb as the bro anon don't call me out like that man sjjdnsbd also can we claim anon names?

You will take the anon names I assign you

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Do you only write for the Striders? I had sent in a yandere!terezi ask a bit ago and I didn't mean to break any rules.

No I write for everyone! TZ isn’t my fave so she’s takin a little extra effort, but you didn’t break any rules or anything.

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I would like to say, I am a huge simp for the Striders, thank you for coming to my ted talk

Me the fuck too if it wasn’t obvious. I see an ironic blonde idiot with shades and I am instantly head over heels.

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i saw those yandere dirk headcannons and I must ask the question: Dave Hcs? Cause lemme tell you that repressed kid got some of that good POTENTIAL

All Striders have the potential to be VERY good yanderes, let’s be real. Social isolation and romantic desperation is one hell of a combo.

Dave Strider:

- You never officially got together. He just sort of...appeared in your life one day, and never left. You met him once, then twice, and then he was just there, in your life, and by your side. He would introduce himself as your friend, then your best friend, then your boyfriend. He never gave you the chance to correct him, and eventually it just felt...normal.

- He’d never really planned on having a collection of pictures of you, but here he is, spending hours every night pouring over the box full of Polaroid snapshots of you taken when you weren’t looking, printed out pictures from your social media, and photos of you stolen from people who Dave deems unworthy of knowing you.

- Any suitors, crushes, exes, lovers, good friends, flings, or people who are just a little too close to you for Dave’s liking are eliminated. Time travel makes getting away with murder way easier. Who’s going to notice someone slipping cyanide into one specific bottle of soda right before it gets sealed up at the factory? It must be a coincidence that it’s happened to at least 3 people you know, after all, who could possibly plan that precisely, so far ahead?

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Y,,, yandere Dirk hcs?

Anon I kin your giant brain

- Surveillance, surveillance, surveillance. Dirk has cameras installed at the entrance to every door you regularly walk through, one in the kitchen, and at least 3 different angles of where you sleep. He just can’t stand being alone again, without you there, so whenever he can’t be with you in person he stalks watches over you. To protect you of course, obviously.

- It’s a long game with Dirk, and he’s patient. You wouldn’t even notice it at first unless you were looking, and even then you’d have trouble. It starts off slowly, with him mentioning questionable things he’d seen your “friends” doing, asking if you knew about the things they were saying about you behind your back. When you finally break it off with your very confused former friends, Dirk is conventionally there with open arms and some room to spare. You’re welcome to stay with him for as long as you want, until you feel better again. He’ll even sleep on the couch if you want, he doesn’t mind you sleeping on his sheets every night.

- He draws totally ironic ship art of you two, just basic stuff like looking cool together, holding hands, or things in the same vein as the bby eatin jake art (don’t be fooled, it was just an excuse to draw you in wedding clothes), and shares them with you. The most tepid ones come first, as he only shows you the next one after you’ve shown a reaction that isn’t negative. If you seem uncomfortable, he’ll put it away...and wait until you trust him a little more to show you the next one.

- He keeps you busy. Wether it’s fighting/training with him or one of his robots, asking for your opinion on his latest music project, or just hanging out and talking, he doesn’t let you get a moment alone. He refuses to give you the chance to be alone with your thoughts, out of fear that just a few seconds of clarity will make you realize he’s been keeping you prisoner. He’s not exactly above outright chaining you up, and he’s sure he’s going to have to show his true colors eventually, but he wants to savor every moment that you seem genuinely happy with him for as long as he can.

[turing-temporal]

@yandere--stuck

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Y,,, yandere Dirk hcs?

Anon I kin your giant brain

- Surveillance, surveillance, surveillance. Dirk has cameras installed at the entrance to every door you regularly walk through, one in the kitchen, and at least 3 different angles of where you sleep. He just can’t stand being alone again, without you there, so whenever he can’t be with you in person he stalks watches over you. To protect you of course, obviously.

- It’s a long game with Dirk, and he’s patient. You wouldn’t even notice it at first unless you were looking, and even then you’d have trouble. It starts off slowly, with him mentioning questionable things he’d seen your “friends” doing, asking if you knew about the things they were saying about you behind your back. When you finally break it off with your very confused former friends, Dirk is conventionally there with open arms and some room to spare. You’re welcome to stay with him for as long as you want, until you feel better again. He’ll even sleep on the couch if you want, he doesn’t mind you sleeping on his sheets every night.

- He draws totally ironic ship art of you two, just basic stuff like looking cool together, holding hands, or things in the same vein as the bby eatin jake art (don’t be fooled, it was just an excuse to draw you in wedding clothes), and shares them with you. The most tepid ones come first, as he only shows you the next one after you’ve shown a reaction that isn’t negative. If you seem uncomfortable, he’ll put it away...and wait until you trust him a little more to show you the next one.

- He keeps you busy. Wether it’s fighting/training with him or one of his robots, asking for your opinion on his latest music project, or just hanging out and talking, he doesn’t let you get a moment alone. He refuses to give you the chance to be alone with your thoughts, out of fear that just a few seconds of clarity will make you realize he’s been keeping you prisoner. He’s not exactly above outright chaining you up, and he’s sure he’s going to have to show his true colors eventually, but he wants to savor every moment that you seem genuinely happy with him for as long as he can.

[turing-temporal]

friend-me-fuck-me —> turing-temporal

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Friendship ended with Hiveswap Friendsim, now Homestuck is my best friend (again). Askbox bombed, hit me up with headcanon requests.

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Uh hi can i get some uhhhhhhhh dom zebruh and dom mallek n s f w headcanons

Zebruh:

- He’s one of those really strict doms that takes away your clothing and masturbation privileges when you break the rules. Humiliation is a big part of his game, he likes to make you submit to him no matter what he asks.

- Dirty talk. This boy’s got a mouth on him and he knows how to use it. Sessions between you two involves a lot of pet names, commands, praise, and him getting you to beg or call him Master.

- He does that thing where, when you both cum, he stays inside of you and doesn’t let you move for a little while in order to overstimulate you.

Mallek:

- Soft dom. He’s the dom that’s big about rewards and praise. He’ll give you orders and demands of course, but when you’re done he makes sure to clean you up and make you feel safe and comfortable. He also falls asleep quickly after sex, so post-coital cuddles are a must.

- That being said, he bites. He bites HARD. It’s a claiming thing, he loves seeing your color drip out of a mark he made while his color runs down your thighs. Hickeys will absolutely happen, and so will teeth marks, probably permanent ones, if you let him. He’s even more into it if you wear them like badges instead of hiding them.

- Not so much into the sadomasochism side of it, he still loves you and doesn’t like seeing you hurt. His type of domming is mainly him being in control of what you’re doing and how you’re doing it in a sexual situation.

[friend-me-harder]

I vote that just to spite tumblr, we all only post nsfw stuff on the 16th who's with me

I’m down for a mass answering of nsfw asks on the 16th

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“Only [this person] should follow me in the next hour” I said.

“Fuck You” said the 12 new followers I just got

I adore you guys but holy shit

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could we maybe get mallek and diemen comforting their s/o after a really long day??

Gods yes. I adore these boys. They own my heart.

Mallek:

* I mean. It’s Mallek. He’s gonna hug you, and by “hug” I mean “drag you by the arm to a comfortable spot, wrap his arms around you, and refuse to let you get up for the next hour or two”. Whenever he’s sad and you hug him, he feels better so it should work the other way around, right?

* He listens too. If there’s something specific you need to talk about he’s there. Can’t always relate, but it’s nice to just say it and get it out of your system.

* If you just need to calm down and relax, it’s junk food and stupid movies time. You’re still not getting up from the hug though, he’s just gonna carry you around while he grabs chips and sets up the movie.

Diemen:

* Hot dog? Hot dog. Hot dog! Hot. Dog.

* He’s basically shoving the damn thing in your face, to the point where actually attempting to eat it would be a challenge. If you manage to grab his hands and get him to chill he’s still gonna share it with you. You can’t have all of it though. But he will give you some. Because he loves you.

* He’s pretty quiet about the whole thing honestly. He just sits next to you and lets you cry or talk or pass out on his shoulder or whatever you need.

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While we're on the whole "volume 16" subject, can I please have some fluff with the reader taking care of a sick/injured Zebruh? My poor lil boy 💙💔

Poor, tragic, precious jerkwad.

* He’s gonna play it off like it’s no big deal when he comes home covered in blood with rips all over his outfit. He’s lying. He’s a wimp. He may be strong enough to toss people around with one hand, but this boy cannot handle pain. He’s gonna be trying his best to look cool in front of you but the moment you try to disinfect a cut, he’s gonna sob.

* Uses his injuries as an excuse to get more hugs from you. Can’t you see he’s hurting babe? You just have to come sit with him and watch tv or he’ll just be so sad.

* He doesn’t know how to cook, so unless you want to make food, you can expect to be ordering in until he’s mostly healed up. You will never see a more confused face on a troll than the one you’ll get from the pizza delivery guy who has to bring pizza to a highblood’s house only to find a hornless alien. He doesn’t get paid enough for this.

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stelsa, elwurd, and kuprum! 💖/yourfriendsimf-o

Hi I love you

STELSA SEZYAT - Are you particularly worried about anyone you know? Why?

I’m concerned about my dumbass older brother because he’s gotten hit by 4 cars in the last year and a half. He hasn’t actually gotten hurt from it, just mild bruises. But still.

?????? ELWURD - Do you enjoy poetry? Why or why not?

Binch have you read my writing? I adore poetry. I love pretty words and nice descriptive sentences that throw you directly into a new world.

KUPRUM MAXLOL - How do you feel about your future?

I’m trying to get a new job, so things are looking up! It’s all gonna be ok in the end, just gotta get through shit, ya know?