turkey soup for the soul

a humor blog for cool people

[ithelpstodream]

[officialwhitegirls]

[twitterlols]

[tastefullyoffensive]

(via HBecca2017)

[zenyattasperceptrons]

me: gets a solid 8 hrs of sleep

me: wakes up exhausted

me: ok first of all

[swarnpert]

the phrase “when pigs fly” is very outdated because the police have helicopters

[shaxaphone]

cute things to call your girlfriend: 1. sugar  2. honey  3. flour  4. egg  5. 1/2lb butter  6. stir  7. pour into pan  8. preheat to 375°

[markv5]

Мне нравится, что все эти разные виды кошек сдружились, несмотря на такие явные различия между ними

[lilitasticc]

@ninatastic

[fearlessly-fiona]

“I’m an adult” I whisper as I try not panic while I’m filling in all those forms that I don’t understand.

[vanquishedvaliant]

If you’re like sleep spooning a centaur and they roll over in bed do you just die

[null-set]

sleep on her back, then you’ll just roll off if she shifts

[vanquishedvaliant]

i dont follow

[null-set]

+

[vanquishedvaliant]

okay but what if you had a special bed instead 

nothing says commitment like buying a new mattress

[mythicalwashrag]

Centaur Comfort Mattress™: The Horse Hole Keeps Your Bones Safe

[asexualmew]

Just in case anyone else was curious.

[thenimbus-deactivated20200907]

This is kind of horrifying

[deadjosey-deactivated20200613]

holy shit

[leviathan-supersystem]

fucking destroyed

[vampire-punk-deactivated2017051]

looks like we have a new king

[susanrchive-deactivated20210225]

get a load of this

[cumgremlin]

[fivekets]

someday, in the distant future, humans will once again be capable of hearing the phrase “what is love” without also feeling the primal urge to  respond with “baby don’t hurt me”

[megparsec]

So at that point, people will say “baby don’t hurt me”…no more?

[iwantasecretgarden]

I tried to scroll past I really did

[quousque]

beautiful set up, perfect follow-through. great teamwork everyone

[notolgi-deactivated20150427]

You're telling me, a chicken fried this rice

[hikari-ni-naritai]

In Japanese, they don’t say “moon,” they say “tsuki,” which literally translates to “moon,” and I think that’s how language works.

[imascg]

[drkarayua]

[just-shower-thoughts]

Why are there 2 A’s in Aaron? Why not 6? What’s stopping us?

[yuripink]

i feel like im in the sims where it takes 5 hours to make pasta and then u have to immediately go to bed