tremble, little lion man.

[tvddyisms]

fallback friday to when u were balls deep in minjae

        ❛   we used to fuck around, so... yeah? i don’t really see your point in bringin’ this up since we’ve both moved on and we’re happily in relationships but—— yeah??   ❜

[tvddyisms]

when are you going to propose to taemin?

         ❛   p—— propose??   ❜   eyes widening in surprise, he ducked his head in a valiant, if not, useless effort to hide the growing blush on his cheeks. a blush that, if anyone were to point out, teddy would have insisted was out of embarrassment, and not the possibility of his mind entertaining the idea. but still, even then.   ❛   ...don’t be stupid. i love, tae, don’t get me wrong, but we just got together. m’not gonna try to rush the best fuckin’ thing in my life.   ❜

[tvddyisms]

have you ever been in love?

          ❛   after lookin’ at a sight like this, how could anyone not be?   ❜

[tvddyisms]

[tvddyisms]

& chaenergy.

the snark shot his way didn’t even make him flinch, knowing the words were not meant to bite into his skin despite him being called UGLY. “’m not ugly at all. how dare you.” han retorts back quickly, having the gall to feign insulted as he fixes teddy with a frown. there is a slight curl to it though, giving way to his amusement, the smile threatening to come through finally breaking at teddy’s own. the second jab made at the location really didn’t affect him at all. han knew there were probably a lot more entertaining places one could see within the city, as McDonalds was rather worldwide, but something about the small, cramped space had invited him in. he had been on his way back to the house, feet dragging in an attempt to make time slow down. being in that house just felt smothering. albeit – most of it was his own damn fault – which made the stiffness of everything even worse, actually. the fast food joint had only been a means for further DISTRACTION. a stupid, quick decision to drag out more unnecessary time. han certainly didn’t mind the company though; even if teddy wasn’t impressed. “they have a dollar menu for poor people like you.” han’s voice is light, teasing, not being serious seeing as he himself had just ordered off the mentioned menu not too long ago. “i mean, the food is terrible and i’m not actually sure i was eating real chicken, but y’know? it oddly hits the spot.” balling up the paper that had been wrapped around the sandwich he had finished well before teddy had came, he tosses it the others way before fixing him with a look, “i’m okay, by the way.” he’d answer the silent question first. they hadn’t spoken in a few days. han wasn’t that clueless to know that there was probably a little concern on teddy’s end, which – he didn’t MIND. in fact, it made him a little more fond, and made him adamant on reassuring the other despite his actions certainly not matching up to his promise.

           once he was comfortable in his seat, teddy couldn’t deny the quick once over he gave the elder. from his face to his shoulders, then the rest of what he could see of his body above the table, it was only instinctual for teddy to check that he was okay, because as much as it wasn’t a personal thing—— that was exactly what it was. to put it simply, it really was just teddy taking precautions when it came to those he cared for. with the need to see for himself that they were happy and hale ( or as much as they could be with their situations. ) it was seeing that han was that cut the strings of tension that had pulled him taught in... caution, if not worry for the elder’s well being the past day or two. it was never something all consuming, but instead, deemed to settle beneath his skin in a buzz of annoyance. he simply liked knowing where those in the loop were, and even moreso, that they were alright. not because he didn’t trust them to take care of themselves, but simply that the idea of losing any one of them wasn’t a thought he could fully swallow. seeing the smile upon the elder’s features, and the teasing within his tone, it only served to strengthen his resolve more.   ❛   mhm, you keep tellin’ yourself that, man.   ❜   shrugging noncommittally only to reinforce his act, the grin that broke through at the elder’s next words chased away any of the stilted air between them, the silence broken as easily as ever.   ❛   thinking of the small folk? how kind of you, han. didn’t even know y’had it in you.   ❜   even as the crumpled, greasy paper flew towards him, it was easy enough to use the slightest sparks of his powers to guide the object until it fell neatly into the palm of his waiting hand ; red mist of psychic energy dissipating without even the chance to linger.   ❛   did i ask?   ❜   but even beneath the snark covering his real fears, and the slight sniffle of understanding at the elder’s words, there was a knot that began to loosen. he did worry, he had. but here, in the now, han was okay, he was, and surrounded by the smell of grease and deep fried potatoes, maybe everything else would be too.

[tvddyisms]

& jvdasiisms.

        “me had da munchies - is dat a crime?” he asked, his tone and attitude snarky as he shot the other a look, his eyes narrowing in frustration. deep down he knew that he wasn’t really upset with teddy, or the fact that he was scared. judas just held a lot of anger inside of himself, a lot of inner self loathing that he needed to let out anyway he could. that usually came out in the form of projection, although he tried not to let that show more often than not. not only was it rude, but it wouldn’t solve anything. “even for you, huh? dat’s a stretch,” he murmured under his breath, before grabbing two plates from the cabinet. teddy hadn’t said yes or no to his offer, but he was still standing there, so judas was going to make him a plate anyway. “’s a bit on da spicy side, so you might want to grab a drink of someting.”

           of all the things any of them could stand to be accused for, cooking sure as hell wasn’t one of them, and so, with a silent motion of his hands, arms up and palms forward, teddy easily relented his surrender. if anything, it was too late into the night to even think about starting shit, and judas was too fucking tall for him to stand around and try to threaten. with teddy barely grazing the elder’s chin with his own height? it just really didn’t make for a good picture.   ❛   m’sure it’s not that spicy.   ❜   or so he hoped. teddy might not have been raised in korea for the majority of his upbringing, but he had spent the most influential few years of his childhood there to have acquired a taste for korean food. case in point, spicy shouldn’t have been a problem. then again, as he took the offered plate, the sudden overpowering scent of mixed spices was enough to make his eyes sting.   ❛   you said a bit on the spicy side, asshole.   ❜   then again, the fact that he took a first bite went against the look of betrayal on his face.

[tvddyisms]

social media meme ;;

send me a ★ for a facebook status from my muse to yours

send me a ☂ for three tweets from my muse directed at your muse

send me a ▲ for an instagram picture from my muse about your muse

send me a ✿ for a snapchat from my muse to yours

send me a ☯ for a youtube video or vine about your muse from my muse

send me a ☏ for one voicemail left by my muse on your muse's phone

send me a ✉ for three texts from my muse to yours

[pjmjjk-archive-blog]

[tvddyisms]

me: i will plot ! also me: wow my eyes wont fickin stay open !!!

akjdsf i def think it’s time for me to head to bed though like ?? coherent thoughts aren’t happening riP but tY to eberyone who gave iseul’s post a like & i won’t be able to get on my laptop tomorrow but i’ll def be able to plot throug h mobile ok !!

goodnight everyONE & ily aLL !

[tvddyisms]

❝ You can do good in the world. ❞

( channel zero: sentence starter meme; not accepting !! )

           it was funny to think that not even too long ago, if the elder had said the exact same words then, teddy might have believed them. that in that time ( a different time, he still has to remember to remind himself ) teddy would have wanted to try. but before the present, as everything he’d ever dreamed of lay in ruins, and the one before him the catalyst for such destruction, all he could offer was a painted smile of self deprecation.   ❛   i think the... only good i can do for the world anymore is to vacate it.   ❜

[tvddyisms]

& minjve.

@tvddyisms

              It had been an easy thought to push to the back of his mind, initially ; a quickly forgotten plan originally formed in a petty, bitter fit of anger. There was definitely a month or so where Minjae had HONESTLY wanted to go through with everything he’d originally organized with Soyeon — when his frustration was only furthered by the absence of the person who had once acted as his conscious. He had spent each day of that month stewing and concocting and WAITING for a chance to enact the anger that Soyeon only managed to encourage during that time. But SO much had happened since that particular moment, and not only had the desire to hurt someone he ( probably ) cared about been nearly forgotten, but Minjae no longer saw the point in it at all. Instead, he found the promises of torture to be nothing more than a petty distraction from all of his actual issues — a diversion from the pain and neglect he had let harvest and fester over the years. And as soon as he realized as much, he wanted out. But it was Soyeon — he should’ve known that, regardless of whether or not Minjae wanted to be included, she would still dig her claws into the situation and rip everyone involved to pieces. She destroyed for entertainment —— a fact that Minjae had once found amusing ( if not a bit, admittedly, terrifying ). His current views on her behavior, however, were now clear as day as his fingers tugged nervously at the sleeves of his hoodie, eyes scanning the hall for Teddy. He needed to tell him everything. A sigh huffs out from between his lips, foot tapping impatiently along the carpeted floor. Having not caught sight of the younger boy in his room, Minjae had resigned himself to waiting outside of his door instead, hoping to catch sight of the other. And when he finally does, he’s quick to reach out and grab Teddy’s arm, bringing the boy to a halt just in front of him. “Hey. I need to talk to you.”

           it was a strange mixture of regret and self resentment that had taken over him the past few days. caught in an endless loop of berating himself for taking the steps that had led up to his own heartbreak, to feeling stupid for having even thought that maybe —— just maybe things could have turned out good for once in his life. he never got very far before reality tore him down time and time again. it was his fault, for having fallen for someone he never should have in the first place, and it was only because he was stupid enough —— selfish enough, to act on it, that he had lost everything. he had overstepped, and now, he was simply paying the price for it. days had already passed without a single trace of the elder ( not that he was actively looking to see the face that caused his chest to ache so brutally... but he had tried ) but eventually, teddy got it. he understood. whatever it was that they had once had, it was gone now. lost to his own stupidity, and there was no getting it back. no matter how many circles he tried turning, looking back and trying to see where things had gone so wrong, and more pathetically, how he could fix things, the answer only ever came back as one: he couldn’t. there was nothing to find that he had overlooked, and there was no fixing anything. this was it, game over and the end ; he was finally realizing that hope was the closest thing to a lie he knew. it was why, when park minjae ( of all fuckin’ people ) made a grab at him, a shake of his head was his first reaction. whatever the elder wanted, he wanted no part of it.   ❛   can it wait? m’not really in a talking mood.   ❜

[tvddyisms]

&. jvdasiisms.

          judas grumbled underneath his breath, making his way across the kitchen to grab the broom and dustpan. “nah, me concoctin’ up a potion ta poison all’a you,” he snapped sarcastically, dropping the dustpan on the ground and began sweeping up the shattered pieces of the lightbulb so that neither of them accidentally stepped on it. or anyone else who just so happened to walk past later on. the last thing he wanted to hear was someone bitching about how they cut the bottom of their foot. “wha’ it look like, hmm? of course me cookin’.” he swept the shards onto the dustpan and dumped them into the trashcan, finally looking back at teddy. “wha’ ya doin’ up? ain’t you ‘spose to be sleep?” that was a little hypocritical of him, but then again, judas rarely slept unless he was dead tired. before anything else could be said, the oven went off, signaling that the food was finished. he picked up the oven mitts and opened the oven door, pulling the tray of chicken out and placing it on the counter. he sighed, glancing over at him. “hungry? me made enough ta share.”

           even before the other had gone to grab the broom, the offer to use his powers to clean up the mess had sat on the tip of his tongue. hanging, just waiting, and yet, as the elder went about in cleaning the glass shards, grumbling under his breath as he did so, the offer had died in his throat ; silenced in his sudden appearance of meekness as if too ashamed to even give breath to the idea. the elder seemed to have it handled nicely enough, and in the fatigue of having been awake for far longer than anyone in their sane mind had the right to be, teddy was simply too tired to argue his point.   ❛   at almost one am?   ❜   and even if teddy himself was rather well known for having the motivation to do things strike in the darker hours of the night, he could say for certain that cooking was never one of them. ( then again, teddy couldn’t exactly cook, which stood to be the more likelier of reasons. )   ❛   i dunno, but acceptin’ the food of the person who just threatened to kill us all with poison soun’d stupid even for me.   ❜   

[tvddyisms]

&. taempath.

              A nervous energy had followed Taemin ever since the night prior ; lingered in the tips of his fingers, and remained at the back of his thoughts at every little reminder of the death he’d only just recently witnessed. Granted— Miss Mendoza was okay now, of course — but the knowledge of this very same fact still couldn’t erase the image of Yeonghui ( that wasn’t Yeonghui… that wasn’t Yeonghui — something he continued to remind himself of ) stabbing their Ymbryne in the side ; so quickly ripping such a kind woman away from the world. It was jarring to say the least — something that had shaken the boy into complete silence for the entirety of the night, and something that was only gradually eased away by the presence of the boy currently situated in front of him. The thumb brushing across the back of his hand causes a smile to flutter across the length of Taemin’s lips, cheeks flushing — not necessarily in a RARE act of shyness, but rather in a display of quiet, giddy joy. The heaviness of the most recent situation still weighed against his chest, but there was no denying the lightness that Teddy instantly brought to the situation, regardless. “I’m okay,” the elder assures the boy, a soft reassurance quirking up at the ends of his lips. “Well— I mean, I’m not… I’m still not okay,” he admits after a brief pause— the memory of what he witnessed was still so fresh ; that was a fact he definitely couldn’t deny. “But I’m okay with this.” The boy nods his certainty, fingers squeezing reassuringly around Teddy’s own. “I needed this.” And with that, the softness from his grin transfers over into that of his gaze — his own thumb brushing up lovingly against the other’s hand. “So thank you, Teddy —— this really means a lot to me.”

           it was... gratifying, how something so small as a smile could change so much about a person. unlike the solemn, muted version of the elder that had taken over the last few hours in place of the bae taemin he truly knew, with a simple curve of his lips, and the familiar pinkness that took to his cheeks, it was as if the world was tilting back onto its axle once again ; as if the sun was finally shining after the last of the storm had passed. even with all that had happened, and all the things that were sure to happen, in that moment, such worries simply faded to black as the only focus of his world narrowed down to the elder, himself, and the way their fingers curled together so perfectly... almost as if they belonged. ( because maybe, just maybe, they could. )   ❛   no one —— no one expects you to be perfectly okay... y’know that, right, tae?   ❜   after the things he saw? the things he experienced? how COULD they? how could anyone. especially not when taemin was the furthest thing from the hardened survivor some of them boasted to be, neither someone who had been through the worst in life, so broken and blooded that they’d had no choice but to live with the scars. taemin was nearly unscathed compared to so many of them, still gentle and brave, and yet somehow, still so fucking strong. to have gone through what he’d had, but to come out of it, still able to smile? it had taken teddy years before he’d even remembered how to look at the world without wanting to raze it to the ground.   ❛   i didn’t —— m’not... i mean, i really haven’t done much’ve anythin’, tae.   ❜   not when his own motives were as selfish as they were. he didn’t deserve such a heartfelt thanks, and the gratitude, with such pure intention, only aided in helping the pit in his stomach grow all the bigger. was he truly prepared to do this?

[nothingiswrite]

❝ Why are you scared to come home? ❞

❝ I used to have this really weird recurring dream. ❞

❝ I had what’s called an acute stress reaction. ❞

❝ I committed myself voluntarily. ❞

❝ You’re such a dork. ❞

❝ Every time you smile, you’re, like, showing off your skeleton. ❞

❝ Some love really is conditional. ❞

❝ I killed him. ❞

❝ You’re looking in the right direction, but you’re making the wrong connection. ❞

❝ You know, sometimes we think we have to do something, but we really don’t. ❞

❝ I think if you could go back and go down a different path, you would. ❞

❝ You were gonna hurt [them]. ❞

❝ I barely recognize myself. ❞

❝ Do you still think about what a different version of your life would look like, if things had happened another way? ❞

❝ When you think about this, it’ll just seem like some nightmare you had. ❞

❝ Thanks for inviting me into my own house. ❞

❝ Once or twice in a lifetime, if you’re lucky, there are moments.❞ 

❝ Someone slices the world open right down the middle and you can see the sky behind it. The true world. ❞

❝ Nothing’s sadder than a life without purpose. ❞

❝ I was just a void, wasting life, and space, and air. ❞

❝ I found myself in the presence of something greater. ❞

❝ I fed [them] to a fire so it could burn even brighter. ❞

❝ You want to see something cool? ❞

❝ You grabbed on to some kind of darkness inside you. ❞

❝ I may need you to do something for me later on today. Now, you’re gonna hate that I’m asking this, but park it in the back of your head, and if I ask you, then do it out of love. ❞

❝ I know that somebody’s talking in your ear right now. I know that, and I know that they’re telling you what to do, but right now, I need you to listen to me. ❞

❝ I’m gonna protect you. That’s my job, and I’m gonna protect you. ❞

❝ I know that normally you are asking me for something, but this time, it’s me, and I’m asking you. ❞

❝ I know that you think I’m delusional, but I’m not delusional. ❞

❝ In the world you created, the cards fall your way. ❞

❝ What will you do out there in a world you don’t know anymore? ❞

❝ You look like a person with a conscience and a moral center. ❞

❝ I can only imagine what’s actually hunched in that head of yours Some withered, chicken-hearted thing, starving for purpose. ❞

❝ I’m as sharp as a razor blade. ❞

❝ You can do good in the world. ❞

❝ I’ll stay. But so will you. ❞

[limitlessplaylist]

Visit Original Link

Stage by stage I tear apart If brokenness is a form of art I must be a poster child prodigy…

[tvddyisms]

they say that the truth will set you free; but not before  it cuts you deeper than any shard of glass ever will  

[tvddyisms]

                     @taempath​

           with their fingers interlaced over the tabletop and his thumb stroking softly over the back of the elder’s hand, even with all that’d been happening, with all that was still happening, teddy felt... happy. during a time he shouldn’t have been, with a person he had no right to be with, and yet, even as he thought of yeong and chungha and everyone back at the house that might’ve needed help or attention, a more resilient line of thought refused to stain his time with taemin so darkly. as cruel as it may have been, or how awful it made him, he wanted this, not just for the elder, but for himself, and more than anything, he needed to try. with months of dancing around each other with nothing to claim for themselves, teddy knew there was something there, he knew it, and whatever it was, whatever the elder was willing to give, he wanted it. he wanted it enough that he was willing to fight for it, however undeserved or little it may have been. he wanted taemin, and this was simply the first step to being with him  —— it had to be.   ❛   i know i’ve been askin’ this all day but... y’sure you’re okay, tae? i mean, ‘course not okay but  —— okay, uh, okay to be here? we don’t... we don’t have to be here.   ❜   of course he was still as tongue tied as ever, but hopefully the elder would look upon it kindly, as teddy could imagine the night from here on out would only continue in the same way for all that he had planned.