effulgcnt·:
jihyun ; ( @tvnnelvisixn ) / continued from here.
it’s not often people see him somber. benjy wasn’t one to show that side of him freely, firmly believing that it wasn’t worth showing. wasn’t worth people knowing. he wanted to appear unbothered by anything so he could be stronger for others, yet tonight he can’t seem to shake the feeling off.
his parents’ divorce shouldn’t affect him as it is, but it does — taking him back to his childhood days when his parents were happy and in love with each other which in return made him happy. he has always been dependent on others’ happiness rather than his own, even from a young age. hannah had told him once it was going to cause his downfall, ever the perceptive sister, but benjy chose not to listen, letting the words flew over his head.
they probably didn’t anticipate it.
“bullshit.” he snorted, taking another swig from the bottle. it was a mistake getting drunk tonight. not in the sense that he was going to cause trouble like he always does when he gets drunk, but in the sense that words were going to be said and it was the kind that he kept inside for a long, long time. “isn’t the sanctity of marriage is to be together forever? what’s the fucking point of the vows if you’re not going to keep it?” this time, he made sure to look at the older female in the eyes, not bothering to hide his fiery gaze. she didn’t deserve to receive the remaining end of his drunken yet somewhat sober temper fueled rambles, but perhaps his conscious mind had brought her here because he knew she’d listen.
“and what,” he hiccuped angrily, “my mom didn’t anticipate my father being a dickhead, is it?”
The duo has known each other long enough for his little outburst to not completely take her by surprise. This wouldn’t be the first (and most likely not the last either) time he’s been down in the dumps and dragged her out to accompany him while he drowns his sorrows and misfortunes in alcohol. This is, however, the first time things have gotten so personal in the sense that the topic of family is involved. Jihyun has always tried to stay away from such sensitive topics whenever they were brought up; swiftly shutting it down by changing the subject or giving the recipient a sharp glare which gave them the hint that they were threading on uncharted waters and they were not welcomed. She wouldn’t have minded it much had it not been for the fact that his story hits so close to home – unanswered questions and troubled thoughts yet unanswered and yet unsolved despite all the sleepless nights she spent trying to figure out the biggest mystery of all: how did her parents fall out of love?
Exhaling deeply, she occupies herself with her drink, dragging out answering his question in hopes he would just continue his rant instead of expecting her to actually reply (but really it’s because she doesn’t know what kind of lies to tell him to soothe his pain anymore than what lies she has already told herself and she knows for a fact that it doesn’t work.) Feeling his eyes burning through her skin she reluctantly turns her head slightly to meet his gaze and she is momentarily taken back by his fiery gaze. “What do I know? I’ve never been married before,” she throws back, feeling the need to defend herself, almost exasperatingly despite knowing that his anger wasn’t directed at her. It would do neither of them good for her temper to flare up too, so she huffs and tries to keep her cool. “Listen, I’m not about to defend anyone but really people can turn out to be the worst when you least expect it.”
(She’s not sure if she’s still talking about their respective fathers or herself at this point.)
