tv show appreciation

[peaches2217]

So now that Episode 9 is fully out, can I take a moment to talk about this scene?

LOOK AT HIS FACE

This is the first time he’s being told, and probably the first time he’s even entertaining the notion, that he’s capable of being loved for who he is and not just what he does. That he has inherent worth simply because he exists. That just… for how heavy this whole episode was, that hit me the hardest, I think.

[answerpancakes]

I imagine Jax can't take off her overalls for a while, so she'd have to get creative

[audinowithcoffee]

Note: I'm going to call Jax He/him. I think it's more respectful to wait until someone comes out to change their pronouns. That's what I'd do in real life, so I'll do the same for Jax's character.

Affection can be terrifying. When Jax physically pushed away affection that was all I could think about.

There were parts of my life where I literally didn't know how to accept affection. I just, couldn't hand it. It was like a fire alarm going off. Jax's response to genuine affection feels similar to me. the more people encouraged him to open up, the worse he got, to more scared he seemed to be and the harder he worked to cover it up.

We never see Jax hold his breath. You can't die holding your breath in the circus, but you feel like you're dying.

Learning how to tolerate that feeling is actually a part of PTSD recovery. I'd argue, it's the ONLY part of PTSD recovery.

I once heard PTSD described as a "fear of a memory" and I think that's right. So recovery is a very steady, careful, and controlled exposure to those memories. Something that Jax doesn't have the skills to do.

Pomni, however, DOES learn how to hold her breath. She does build a tolerance to that feeling of dying until it has less control over her choices.

At the end of the final episode, I was starting to feel sour. I didn't like having his PTSD being insurmountable or having their trans-ness be tragic. Then it occurred to me, weather or not they recover isn't for me.

The ending demands we be uncomfortable with not knowing, and so much of recovery demands that of us. We can't know if Jax is functionally dead, or will come back. Just like we can't know if old bullies and old mistakes will stay that way forever.

We can't know, just like how he can't know if he killed his mom or what would have happened if he knocked on Ribbit's door.

weather or not Jax gets better, is up to him, not to Pomni. She can't fix him. And it's ultimately up to Jax if they want to return to the world. No one can do that for him. Even if he has all the right tools and the right help, nothing will happen unless he's willing to be exposed to what frightens him in a controlled way.

It's terrifying, so he avoids it. But the thing about PTSD avoidance (or any kind of anxiety avoidance), is it makes it worse. He's spiraled to the point doesn't even seeing himself as a human being.

I think forgiveness is overrated. And that Acceptance is a lot more powerful. What acceptance is, is not trying to change something. That it can be there, it can be what it is, and that it doesn't need to be changed, or fixed, or explained.

So much about the ending I think, is about acceptance, and the lack of it. Pomni is able to accept him, and he's currently unable to accept parts of himself. Asking if Jax can be redeemed, I think is the wrong question entirely.

The last Act left me feeling Raw. Some of what I saw and experienced is so close to home. Particularly the desperately confusing Hurricane that makes up emotional abuse. With bursts of intensity and eyes in the storm.

I've often asked myself if I can ever make up for the things I can not longer fix, apologize or explain. And the spiraling sink water of what makes me a good or bad person. But I can't even know these things about myself for certain.

Can I be redeemed for the times in my life I was far too much like Jax? I don't know, and I'm in my own process of getting comfortable with not knowing, and sometimes, feeling like I'm dying.

[trashasaurusrex]

All good things take time.

I saw the finale when it first hit theaters, and I honestly am so happy I did. It was an unforgettable experience.

I do think abstractions can be interpreted as different situations/experiences, this comic reflecting one idea where the abstracted can eventually find their ways back to a tangible, defined body. Not the same one as before, no. They're forever changed after this. It'll be different. Familiar, but different. The interpretation, in the end, is up to the viewer. Whichever one brings them the things they need in the moment.

This comic isn't necessarily what I want to be "canon", but it was something that made me tear up a bit as I gave it some thought.

I was going to color this fully, but I decided to stick to my original plans of keeping limited colors/just values. TADC greatly inspired me to go back to my original work and try to get my own stories out there, and I...well...can't say it. ADHD (alleged) doesn't like me making plans lol I just gotta GO for it haha, but you might be able to fill in the blanks.

If you read this far, cool.

I also saw people using Leeroy's emo hair for their transfem Jax designs and thought to myself "the shapes are a bit similar to the abstractions."

My HC here is the eyes are bound to her emotions and Jax can't lie when those eyes call her out every time lel

"I hate you"

abstraction hair: *heart eyes heart eyes heart eyes*

[kuropin]

ID SAY PUT ME BACK IN. I WOULD DO IT AGAIN

[schpog-art]

- After episode 9 -

Gosh, this show ruins me

[rattanwhip]

What's in a name

[princerevelucide]

jax being healed from abstraction and they have to put a cone of shame on her for a while so she stops licking and biting at her wounds and scars

[lucyafterall]

Drew a signalis X kill la kill for oomf. Man I loved doing this one so much, I rarely do character mashup stuff but this was so worth it!!

[onebigbroccoli]

plant one on me big boy

[onebigbroccoli]

Hes a real hornberry

[onebigbroccoli]

not a funny one but a genuine one

[blenselche]

Michi and I were talking about if PB ever just wakes up with like, a grey spot on her somewhere. Vampire hickey. Sleep snacking.

[staritoz]

Just realized what "Everything Stays" and "Despite Everything, It's Still You" have in common.

[crazyloony]

I just realize she cut them SHE CUT HER PRETTY PINK FLOWERED ANTLERS OFF :')

- she is so hot btw

[papersasquatch]

Brand new sentences in the discord tonight

[and-fishing-equipment]

when you won't tell your hereditary enemy you want to climb him like a tree so you have to pull this move