Twilight of the Sandwiches

When I grow up, I wanna be a supervillain

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An Ordinary Angel: Memeel, Gabriel’s long-suffering seraph intern.

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I dunno, I feel like the original Good Omens Book (and subsequent adaptations, including GO1) managed to strike that balance of God feeling like an ambiguous unknowable cosmic entity working by a logic/set of ethics we would consider truly Ineffable (having the Voice of God act as the narrator in GO1 was kinda counterproductive, but it still worked alright enough). But GO3 only works as an Ending that is even remotely Happy/Bittersweet if God is both Unambiguously Malevolent Enough to deceive literally Everyone into believing they have Free Will when it’s all just a trick and condemn an entire universe of living sapient beings into meaningless confusing deaths and Unambiguously Benevolent enough to honor Crowley and Aziraphale’s request. And, like, maybe it’s cause they pulled God directly into the narrative as a Character the other characters can talk to, or cause of the weight of needing to justify something as weighty and high-stakes like the Decision, maybe the writing is just shit, but it just doesn’t feel contradictory in a thought-provoking or philosophical way. It just feels contradictory in a badly-written way.

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Archangel Uriel, once Aziraphale’s fellow cherub doing shifts guarding Eden, still occasionally keeps in touch with his former co-worker even if he got a promotion instead of being demoted to Principality. Hopes to one day have a job that doesn’t mostly involve explaining the intricacies of human culture and behavior to his current co-workers, who don’t seem to care, or doing damage control after one of Michael and Gabriel’s numerous PR blunders.

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The Archangel Michael, Heaven’s head jock veteran of the Great War, completely obsessed with the fact that he’s the guy who personally kicked Lucifer’s ass and determined to do it again when the Apocalypse rolls around. Never stops talking about demons the way right-wing chuds on twitter talk about “antifa”. Drinks only black coffee and vodka with raw eggs. Definitely voiced by Patrick Warburton and basically volcel Brock Sampson with wings.

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All Gabriel concepts must be judged by a) how much unrelenting misery he must cause Aziraphale and b) how horrifying it would be for this guy to show up in your room at night and tell you God is going to make you pregnant

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The Archangel Gabriel, Deliverer of Holy Memos, Keeper (and strict enforcer) of the Heavenly Handbook of Rules and Regulations, and general terror to all angelic interns unfortunate enough to hang up his motivational kitten posters a micrometer too far to the left. Do not call him “Gabe”, and definitely do not call him “Ol’ Watermelon Wings”

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So uh trying something over here.

No guarantees it will ever be finished but I’m having fun with it for now.

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These weirdos.

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Tale as Old as Time

I guess

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Crowley, only slightly drunk, c. 1 BC: Oh, so when Mary conceives immaculately, it’s called a “miracle”, but when I do it, it’s called “filling the world with unholy serpents.”

Aziraphale, sipping his mulsum: You wot. 

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Two halves of one entire dumbass

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Let us join the demon Crowley in being diagnosed with gay by an expert in the field.

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Anthony J. “The sunglasses stay on during sex. Er, I mean, hypothetically. How does this work again?” Crowley

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The Antichrist has some important 11-year-old boy questions for his godfathers.

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Just some good old-fashioned demon dipping.

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“You see, my dear, it is simply a Law of Nature that a serpent cannot operate an automobile.”

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Featherless Biped.