DEAR THE LOST OF MY LIFE,
THESE ARE MY LAST WORDS, I THINK I HAVE TO MOVE ON. I CAN'T BE MISERABLE FOREVER FOR SOMETHING THAT WASN'T MEANT FOR ME.
I know you are not talking to me, maybe you never will. But i get it. After 7 (or maybe 8 years?) years as a lover, heartbreaker, best friend, brother, counselor, home, cure, pain, soulmate. I think it's time I let you go.
Maybe in another life, another less shitty timeline. You and I as a devoted husband and wife, sit next to each other in our small living room, watching movie while you watch me fill up my mouth with my strange pregnancy craving.
Maybe in another life, we have our Mezzaluna, beautiful little girl, with her long wavy hair, cute chubby cheek with a dimple, she has your beautiful eyes, and my plumpy lips. Perfect little angel who likes to smile and sing, we love her more than anything in this world.
But, none of that happened in this one. I screw up so bad, and maybe you too.
I resented God, You and myself for a long time. But now, i get it. We just never meant to be together at the end. We never destined to meet Mezzaluna. Because You and I were so ridiculously stubborn for trying so hard holding on to each other, God eventually, force us to leave each other in the most painful way, your nonchalant and my betrayal.
But, I let you go.
Maybe this is the way, maybe this the only way for us, to let the greater good in. Separation and this kinda heartbreak is supposed to happen so we can grow to be a better person for that someone in the future. Maybe you'll meet Her first, and I wish you nothing but happiness.
I hope i meet mine too, but right now I need to sit with this hurts and cheerish myself. Maybe for a while, because i've been abandon and resent Her for too long. I want love me better.
Goodbye. You are the lost of my life. If only God allow us one more time.
