The Last Time I Seen the Sun
The last time I saw him, was the last time I saw the sun...
Paring- Kento Nanami x Fem!Reader
Tags- Major Character death, regret, so much angst, talks of death, flashbacks, widow reader, pregnant reader
It’s been seven months
You sit in the sand at the beach in Malaysia, remembering what he promised you. He told you that when he returned from this mission, he’d retire, and you two would visit Malaysia together. You were lying in bed together, soaking in your final moments with each other. “Just in case I don’t come back from this mission–”
Your heart ached at the memory, you still remember his shaky voice–it was like he knew once he walked out that door, he wasn’t coming back. You close your eyes as the sun beams on your skin, tears flowing down your face.
You’ve begged him before to leave that life behind, not wanting that type of phone call about your husband. You hated how every time he’d return from a mission, the smell of blood and sweat filled your living room, the scent clinging to him like a magnet.
And now, all you can feel is regret.
Regret for not holding him longer. Regret for not making him promise harder. Regret for not telling him that someone was waiting for him at home. Someone else.
Your hand moves instinctively to your swollen belly. You look down, gently rubbing the curve of your stomach, feeling the faint flutter of life stirring inside. A reminder. A piece of him, still here. Still growing.
You found out the day before he left. You wanted to tell him in some perfect way. You imagined his face lighting up, his arms pulling you close, his whispers of "we're going to be parents" against your hair.
But you waited. You waited for his return. You wanted to be his light like you always were, just like this baby would have been…
Just for him to never return home. You got that call, and your whole world turned upside down. You stopped feeling joy, you didn’t want to get out of bed unless it was for doctor’s appointments.
Now, under the Malaysian sun, he longed to see you whisper through the tears, “She’s going to know who you were. I’ll make sure of it.”
And the waves, endless and steady, seem to carry that promise out to him, wherever he is.
The last time you saw him was the last time your eyes lit up, the last time you saw the sun… Everything since then has felt dim, like the world has been caught in a never-ending dusk. Smiles feel borrowed, laughter echoes hollow, and even the brightest days carry a shadow. You move through life, but the color is left with him, and nothing has looked quite the same since.
Even your pregnancy, a miracle you once dreamed of sharing with him, feels bittersweet. You feel her kicks, her life growing stronger each day, and it's beautiful... but it's also a constant reminder of what he’ll never get to see. He’ll never place his hand on your belly and feel her move.
He’ll never speak to her through your skin or sing to her late at night when you can’t sleep. You have to stay strong, not only for yourself but for her as well. You know he’d be overly proud of how great a mother you’ll become. How encouraging he would be. She is a symbol of your love.
You carry the weight of his memory and the promise of her future.
Thank you for reading!
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