โOkay,โ Zatanna said, pretending to consider his request. โBut remember, if I turn into a nun, then the flickering increases, doesnโt it?โ She touched her chin, tapping the center a few times before smirking at him. โI mean, you canโt exist if Iโm not promiscuous.โ There was a glitter of humor in her eyes as she watched him, knowing that the more she said, the more uncomfortable and frustrated heโd become. Their friendship had been rooted in that, and maybe, one day, that would change. Maybe sheโd open her eyes and realize that she should pull back on all these things that she shared with him because there was a line of allowing herself to be known by her grandson - and allowing him to see every shadow in her life at the same time.
Like the things she was supposed to protect him from. Like the family he had gotten, that didnโt include her or Tony in the future. And again, she knew they must have been dead long before he was born if they hadnโt been there for him. It was the only way that could have happened - but what use was it, torturing herself over a future that had taken hold of him? Zatanna swallowed those feelings, focusing on the time she had with him now. It was easy this way to pretend that they could change the future without ruining him in the process. Pretend like this was normal. โIโll get you a cane for your birthday then, old man.โ
Zatanna rolled her eyes at his question, deciding the answer was painfully obvious (just as painful as that whine in his tone just now). โYou were born. So, you know, welcome to the family and all that. Comes with some exclusive zapping, a roll of the dice on magical potential, scientific genius that borders on insanityโฆ I could go on.โ Her nose wrinkled at the thought, irritated not at the suggestion, but at the accuracy. โYeah,โ she grumbled, scoffing at him as she turned away. โIllyana has already done that a few times. Iโll probably end up gray before Tony.โ Though he was already wearing a salt and pepper look, Zatanna, if she allowed it, would join him quickly. โNot a challenge, by the way,โ she warned, glaring in his direction. โYou quicken up this process and Iโll up the voltage.โ
โThatโs a risk Iโm willing to take,โ Miguel replied dryly, and he knew Zee knew it was a damn lie. Sheโd seen just how desperate he was to avoid the flickering wherever he could, seen how much he wanted to stay solid. He figured no one could blame him for that --- blinking in and out of existence was hardly anyoneโs idea of a good time, or certainly wouldnโt be if they knew what it felt like.ย โYou donโt have to be promiscuous to ensure my existence. Artificial insemination is a thing by this decade, isnโt it? I think thatโs a great option for you.โ
This wasnโt natural, and he knew it. He wasnโt supposed to be joking with his grandmother about the circumstances of his existence, wasnโt meant to be doing anything he was doing. So much of his life had been out of his control, so many choices taken from him. In truth, Miguel didnโt know if he would have chosen this for himself had the option been presented to him. He didnโt know if he would have gone back in time willingly had Tyler not forced his hand, didnโt know if he would have stayed had the time machine not been destroyed on the other side. There were things he might have changed given half the chance, but... that didnโt mean they were bad. That didnโt mean he didnโt cherish the friendship he had with Zee.ย โGreat. Iโll use it to kick your ass.โ
Family. The word felt heavier than he thought she probably meant for it to, seemed to hold its place too firmly to be comfortable. Miguel shifted, like he needed to do something to offset that weight, like he was unsteady by how not unsteady that word was.ย โIโve got nothing close to insanity. Just because you donโt like reading books on genetics doesnโt make enjoying them crazy, you know. And Iโm pretty sure the magic shit skipped me, so we can exhale on that.โ He laughed, straightening and lifting himself onto tiptoes so he could inspect the top of her head.ย โI do see evidence of that, come to think of it...โ He didnโt. Of course he didnโt. Zee was built to handle stress, and he knew it.ย โSounded like a challenge to me. Youโre gonna zap me either way, so I might as well have fun with it.โ