I just want to rant a little bit before I head off to work today, so you don’t have to read if you don’t want to.
Okey, I have now been single for a little bit over a week and you are probably thinking that I should be crushed, sad, feel depressed, feel hopeless but no. I don’t. I actually feel relived, yes you read that right, relived. The relationship I ended lasted for 4 years, and to be honest it should have ended much sooner but as we all know, love makes you blind. You want things to work, you ignore things that makes you irritated or mad. You think that things will get better. I was a coward. Yes, I was dear reader. A coward because I didn’t look at my own happiness and you can say that that is a selfish thought and yes it is. People need them sometimes and I never allowed myself to have them. Until now that is.
Now don’t get me wrong dear reader, I haven’t been sitting here feeling nothing all week, no, no. I have been sad to, but maybe not for the reasons you think. Now let me tell you about a very good friend, who has been supportive of me the whole week. Stayed up with me when I could not sleep. Talked for hours about nothing to get my mind on something else. Being there as a friend. Him and I have talked every night and last night I realized something. On this week alone I have talked more about my feelings and thoughts then I did for the past 4 years. Simply put, it is a scary thought. Of course he told me a lot about him self as well. Somethings I knew, somethings I didn’t. Things that hurt to talk about and things that made us laugh loud and long.
So now, dear reader, you are probably wondering, what have you been sad about then?
Well I have been sad because all this time I have had someone who have been pushing me up all the difficult hills inn my life and all I had to do was look behind me this whole time to see that he was there. It hurts to think about that he has been standing behind me and seeing every time I have been sad or hurt and then done the best he could to just keep pushing me forward.
If you are still there dear reader, I have a moral for you about this story.
Look behind you, there are probably someone there who keeps pushing you to go forward. That person will also catch you every single time you fall, drag you up and start pushing again.
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