Pardon my French

Jay • They - Il/Elle • Queer • 28 • White • Belgian • Autistic

[yesornopolls]

do you have any half siblings?

Do you have any half siblings?

Yes

No

Voting ended onJul 10

[yesornopolls]

Have you ever been in a country where you didn't speak the language?

Have you ever been in a country where you didn't speak the language?

Yes

No

Voting ended onJul 10

[translatingpostsinfrench]

je sais que c'est pas le blog pour ça mais j'avais vraiment envie d'écrire quelque chose sur ce que c'est d'être queer en france aujourd'hui pour moi, et si vous le voulez bien, de me partager vos propres pensées. je vous laisse les miennes sous le cut, et je vous passe le micro

pour moi, vivre en france en tant que queer est une dissonance cognitive constante. je regarde les stories instagram de mon amie trans, elle vient de finir sa première année sur le terrain après avoir passé son CAPES et s'émeut des petits cadeaux de ses tout premiers élèves. juste après, je reçoit un message d'une autre amie trans qui m'annonce qu'elle a accepté un rapport tariffé pour la première fois, en désespoir de cause. ma copine me demande si elle peut m'embrasser au milieu d'un café bondé, et bien sûr que j'accepte, avec une pensée pour ce garçon encore plus jeune que nous, laissé pour mort après une agression homophobe exactement dans la même ville que nous, avec une pensée pour mes darons qui ne sauront jamais, jamais. je fais du rangement dans mes vieilles notes de la fac et je repense à mon cours de droit des personnes, où on nous a expliqué que la procédure de changement de sexe à l'état civil a largement évolué dans le but de simplifier les parcous de transition. je pense aux murmures dans l'amphi tout au long de ce passage. je pense surtout au courier du tribunal, aux juges qui ont regardé mon amie droit dans les yeux avant de noter que "sa comparution et sa présentation à l'audience ne laissent pas apparaitre qu'il se présente comme appartenant au sexe féminin revendiqué", la phrase la plus violente que j'ai pu lire depuis un moment. je vois les drapeaux queers à la vitrine d'une banque, à l'étage, puis je baisse les yeux et je vois une dame qui regarde mes doigts entrelacés avec ceux de ma copine comme une crotte de chien sur le troittoir. je pense aussi au soir où j'ai embrassé une fille à un arrêt de bus, tard le soir, et que quelqu'un que je n'ai pas pu distingué nous a applaudi.e.s.

[translatingpostsinfrench]

sachez que j'ai été tellement marqué.e par vos histoires que j'en ai fait une tentative de zine (= j'en ai jamais fait avant, je suis une brêle en dessin, j'étais en insomnie et sous médocs),, j'en ai fait quune seule page pour l'instant mais je vais doucement m'y remettre, et le poster si les personnes concernées sont ok (ça se passera probablement sur mon compte perso @vogelpik), en tout cas même si résultat est moche et reste privé, merci de me sortir un peu de ma déprime en m'occupant les mains et la tête

[vamptits]

why is it so hot. why is it so hot. I am being punished.

[vamptits]

I'm having my first 24/7 dom/sub relationship with the entirety of the fucking sun

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Gomez and Morticia Addams got divorced. I woke up mortified and with a sense of inexplicable dread.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

[penrosesun]

[weaselle]

you literally don’t need any other plot and i would watch the movie

[random-chaos-thoughts]

Every 'normal' adult is fussing around Pugsley and Wednesday because "poor children that must be so hard for you to see mom and dad break up like this"

But the kid are absolutely unfazed, arguing that "it's alright they will be together again soon". The normie are so sad for the "children clinging to vain hopes" until Morticia and Gomez get married again two weeks after the divorce.

In the meantime Mama and Uncle Fester fight about which one of them will go to whose custody.

They pretend to argue in court and at meeting with lawyers over the splitting of the properties but that's mostly Gomez insisting to leave more and more thing to his wife in an angry voice.

At home they decided not to talk to each other so Lurch has to (begrudgingly) transmit messages from one to the other, even when they are sat on either side of the table.

That works (more or less) then Morticia says one word in french and Gomez run to cover her with kisses until Morticia remind him that they are spliting (that's the only moment he seems to regret the whole thing)

[yeomanstuff]

This. All of this.

[6qubed]

Wednesday offers to help with split custody of Pugsley. her suggestion involved a big table saw

[swimmingblue]

They fight over who gets to hire the expensive big-firm lawyer and who gets to hire the up-and-coming rookie divorce lawyer. It's a whole Thing.

[ladyartemisia28]

The up and coming lawyer is Thing?

[aethersea]

Thing wins the case

[amultitudeofyellowrodents]

it's actually started because Thing just passed the bar exam and no one will hire Thing

[beardedmrbean]

Tumblr does one thing better than any other site on the internet, and that's collaborative fan fiction.

[hylianane]

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

[maseratus]

Now a functionally suicidal character saying “I will live for you”. Now that’s a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.

[mousidy]

now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"

[mousidy]

[bisthefairy]

Hotdog vender lays down their life to protect their suicidal partner, who then takes over the hotdog stand to carry on their memory...

[maightymai]

[the-seelie-court-official]

I always find it weird when ppl throw like pedophilia into the kink conversation like it kinda sounds to me like you (the commenter not you) think kinks are close to pedophillia. Like saying “as long as ur not a pedo” okay well I’m pro kink as long as someone doesn’t rig an apartment building with c4 like??? What’s the relevance???

I've been saying

[the-seelie-court-official]

honestly we need to start shutting down ppl who bring up pedophilia / csa / sexual assault during kink discussions

on the nicer end of the spectrum we can hit em with a "that's not an appropriate topic right now" and on the more dismissive side we should just be like "i hope someone glues hammers to your car and it explodes"

and i would Love if the canned response to "im pro kink except bestiality and pedophilia" was "yeah? im pro kink as long as no one is firebombing a walmart"

[funnier-as-a-feedist]

A lot of the comments on my survey (or the ones I see about feedism in general) are like "I'm fine with feedism, as long as everyone's risk aware and no one is being nonconsensually involved in the kink." It's like that post saying "do you tell people who do tae kwon do that you support it as long as they're not assaulting people in the street, or are you just weird about bdsm?"

[smalllfieldmouse]

my ex used to get pissed off every time i showed them this video they would be like "that's not how a train works" really angrily and storm out of the room

[smalllfieldmouse]

everyones gotta stop reblogging this bro they're gonna find it and get so mad they try to strangle me again

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring

[krystal-prisms]

Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

So after extensive interrogation I have an update:

my mom is in fact aware that dandelions exist. she temporarily forgot the name and there was some miscommunication.

the truth is actually weirder

she’s aware dandelions look like this

she is familiar with this flower. she knows the name of this flower. she declines to believe, however, that these are also dandelions

she does not believe these are the same plant. I tried to explain, and she thought I was either misinformed or lying. so I asked her what exactly did she think the yellow ones were called?

she answered, with complete confidence: Daffodils.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

gosh I enjoy this website

[authoratmidnight]

For comparison, this is a daffodil

[quietlygrousing]

See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i don’t think so? i’m southern and buttercups are what we call these things (much tinier)

[maejacrezz007]

Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???

[fractiousrvt]

This is an Easter Lily. It is an actual lily and therefore deadly to cats.

[blood-trip-god2]

They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!

[delphinidin4]

This is a marigold:

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u

[spin-the-wheel-polls]

It's a zombie apocalypse and you are stuck in this place!

How are you doing?

great!

okay, I can make this work

Not great, probably can't make this work

A zombie

Dead (non-zombie related)

Results/it depends

Voting ended onJun 29

(zombies work by standard zombie rules, boarded doors and biting)

[jaymber]

Happy late pride! I'm going to kill the next person who says "aros can date"!

- signed, an aro planning their wedding

[fishyandclintbarton]

Good luck & godspeed to all the retail workers, hospitality baddies, construction comrades, dinner ladies and anyone else in the UK & across Europe this week who has to work somewhere with no air con during the heatwave that could see temps reach 42°c. May your deodorant smell of line dried linen all day, your feet never swell, and you water be ice cold & plentiful 🫡

[yesornopolls]

Do you think the leader of your country is good at leading the country?

Do you think the leader of your country is good at leading the country?

Yes

No

Voting ended onJun 22

[yesornopolls]

Do you think the leader of your country is good at leading the country?

Do you think the leader of your country is good at leading the country?

Yes

No

Voting ended onJun 22

[w0rmsmeatofme]

I want to see more polyamory pride this pride month i'm serious. Stop being weird about people with multiple partners polyamory is awesome and beautiful and queer

[achillbeing]

@bread-lord-khubz this has the vibes of a legendary post

[w0rmsmeatofme]

[animentality]

[64mpg]

what do you mean my childhood affected me

[64mpg]

i have terrible news